Everything About Business Except The Bottom Line: FunnyBusiness

Is the world finally getting greener?

Earlier this week Random House announced by 2010 it would increase its use of recycled paper from it current usage of 5% to 30%

It seems that Random House is not the only company taking a stand on corporate social responsibility. The team at INSIDE WWF PHILIPINES has a post about a conference that just ended this week on sustainability. Phillip Morris was one of the companies that attended.

There were interesting discussions one of which came early in the workshop in response to the question “Why should business become sustainable?” The obvious answers came up, long-term profits, good for the brand, cost-efficiency, etc. Then the representative from Philip Morris responded, “For a place at the table.” When asked for clarification on the response, she began quite an emotional explanation of how Phillip Morris was being turned away by everyone including NGOs unwilling to accept their money despite the environmental projects they were undertaking. She said words to the effect, “You don’t know how it feels like being turned away because your company produces cigarettes and kills people.” Jimmy Brannigan, one of the British facilitators replied, “Does anybody know how many people the cement industry has killed, or the mining industry?” No response. “Cigarettes are a personal choice. Do people have a choice in the pollution of a cement plant or the devastation caused by a mining or logging concession?” No response.

Meanwhile businesses that are interested in learning more about becoming a social entrepreneur can check out socialedge, a network of social entrepreneurs.

Social Edge has an audience of tens of thousands of current and aspiring social entrepreneurs around the world; it is particularly targeted at social entrepreneurs with limited access to other local resources and practitioners due to the nature of their work (e.g., international development) or their location (e.g., developing countries or in rural areas.)

Diana Reid, formerly part of the Public Affairs team at Starbucks where she was a key business partner to Starbucks Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) team, is part of the social edge network. She began blogging four months ago at  Reid On Marketing about providing advice on marketing for social entrepreneurs.

While some corporations may have turned their backs on the green movement in the late 90s, it feels that many are rediscovering the beauty of being green in the word's of Kermit...

But green's the color of Spring.
And green can be cool and friendly-like.
And green can be big like an ocean, or important like a mountain, or tall like a tree.

When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why? Wonder,
I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful!
And I think it's what I want to be.

Image Credit: Flickr member zenroxie

Chicken or the Egg; China has Hooters--Chinese Women Getting Bolt-Ons

While the Hooters in Shanghai, China has been in business  since 2004 --it seems that some are saying the restaurant is having a major impact on China's plastic surgery industry.

Last week it was reported that women in China ,who traditionally been small breasted women, now seem to be exhibiting the benefits of 'better nutrition".

"It's so different from the past when most young women would wear A- or B-cup bras," Triumph brand saleswoman Zhang Jing told the Shanghai Daily from the Landmark Plaza of China's commercial hub.

"You...never expect those thin women to have such nice figures if they are not plastic."

The article in the Australian Courier-Mail goes on to say that the Beijing Institute of Technology has its own explanation for everything busting out all over in China,

"This phenomenon, it said, was due to women eating more nutritiously and taking part in more sport.

Similar growth in the average height of children prompted a rethink last year in Beijing on the height allowance for free bus "

Call it good old American cynicism but  The Dread Pundit Bluto believes there is a Hooters connection.

"It comes as no surprise to me that a world-famous Hooters Restaurant franchise opens in China at the same time that it's being reported Chinese women are becoming more bosomy.....In my estimation, this shouldn't be a big problem to resolve. Furthermore, the 'pressing demand' could likely be a sales opportunity for American manufacturers who have been known (probably NSFW) to market F-, G-, and H-cup sizes.  Improved nutrition is considered responsible."

Meanwhile, back in Shanghai, there is a fascinating interview with one of the Hooter Girl's who applied for the job upon her parents suggestion who "liked the happy atmosphere" in the restaurant.

According to the Shangalist, her American name is Quasar

Had you ever heard of Hooters before? No.

What did they tell you about Hooters? It's a famous American restaurant established in 1985 in Florida. And it is famous for its unique sports style and hot girls.

So they told you about the hot girls? Yes, but we know we are different from the native Hooters girls.

"In what way? Not as open as them.

What do you mean, not as open? Well, at the begining, there were several native girls. They came here to train the girls here and I have been told they were very energetic and hot. Because of the Chinese culture, sometimes we are still very shy.

When you say native girls, do you mean American? Yeah.

So maybe you aren't as outgoing as the American girls ... but are the Chinese Hooters girls just as hot? Maybe some of us are. Hooters is a large family and everyone has her own character, so we can attract different customers."

To watch to  the Chinese Hooter "Hot Girls' doing the hokey pokey, click here.

Hat Tip  to:

Carnival of the Capitalists

And, a Shout Out and best wishes to Carnival of Business that published its second edition yesterday..including a post from FunnyBusiness.

 

 

Kissy Face

When it comes to talking about work life, most bloggers opt to either avoid the topic or blog anonymously. Work culture bloggers  are not known for blogging naked. The risks of losing a job or not getting hired simply outweigh the desire to share it all.

Well maybe that's just an American phenomenon, because down under, Jules,a 29 -employee at some unknown firm regularly talks about  worklife, coworkers and taking mental health days . While she doesn't share where she works and doesn't give us her last name. She does tell all. Some of it is about being a 29 year old in Australia. And a lot of it has to do with work.

According to Jules who writes a blog called Dragon Girl, if you plan to do business with the folks in Melbourne, Australia, you better be prepared to pucker up.

"When the Melbourne people were leaving (all men), they did the one-cheek-kiss thing with myself and my other female colleague. I can only assume that this is one of those peculiar Melbourne things, because NO ONE in Brisbane does the greeting/farewell kiss with work colleagues/associates. I must admit, it freaks me out. Having this almost complete stranger in my personal space, kissing me.

And is it one kiss, two kisses, or three kisses? That always confuses me, and I don't know if I should be leaning in longer or if I should pull back."

In another post, Jules shared what a perfect Friday was like;

• Leave for work late, due to carpooling with work colleague, thereby missing all of peak hour traffic.
• Work Colleague's birthday, so we celebrate with coffee & cake for morning tea
• Whole office leaves for lunch at 1pm at nearby pub, where alcohol is consumed
• Present at the lunch is a colleague from Melbourne, who is perhaps the most drop dead gorgeous guy I have ever seen. Yum.
• Leave work at 4pm

And... I got to drive a colleague's car back to the office after lunch - one of the new Ford Territory 4WD

While most Americans might be too politically correct to admit they attended a drinking lunch and not only went back to work but DROVE to work...can you say .8? This does  not seem to phase Dragon Girl at all.

She also doesn't seem compelled to hide that she takes mental health days. Most people I know take mental health days but they would call in saying they were "Under the weather" and they certainly wouldn't share they spent the day going to a movie.

"Yesterday was one of THOSE days at work, when one of my co-workers continually pushed my buttons until I snapped. So today has been designated as a Mental Health Day, where I am going to stay at home and do things that I enjoy."

And she is not shy about ranting about other people who may know exactly who they are.

Can anyone explain what is with all the text message speak that is pervading normal correspondence? I got a work email from someone today that contained a whole series of text message speak abbreviations. Its almost as if they were saying “I am too lazy to be bothered typing out the whole word and so have used these annoying shortened versions of words instead.”

You know what? If you are too damn lazy to type out a proper message, then I am sure as hell not going to be bothered responding to your lazy email message either. If you want a response, then learn how to type a proper message!!

Getting back to the practice in Melbourne of playing kissy face at work. Here are some of the comments from Dragon Girl's readers

Natalie said...

Word around the camp fire is... Kissing on the lips "hello" is now common practice in Sydney - NOT going to happen in my social circle!

Miss V said...

We don't do the *kiss kiss* in the US. We shake hands.

And that about says it all.

A quest and a request

After the fourth day and the fifth attempt to figure out  how my daughter could use her One World Telecom prepaid calling card to call home for 9 cents a minute as opposed to the 31 cents a minute on her international cell phone, I decided to go for The ASK.

I didn't get very far. More on that later. That's when I decided to go on a quest-- I want to find out who owns One World prepaid Calling Card. The name on my daughter's card says One World Telecon -- I can't find them.

Perhaps my commitment to go on this quest was inspired by the fact that I have just completed Mark Helprin's Freddy and Fredricka-( a book club book) - Actually it wasn't the book that inspired me, but  R Forzani's review of it on Amazon

"If you decide to read this book, let me give you a bit of advice: You must get in the right frame of mind, which is to say you should temporarily suspend any disbelief, in preparation for some of the literally unbelievable things that happen in this wacky story. Just accept and laugh at some of the situations the two main characters get into, which at times border on the absurd, and you will enjoy this book more. "


That's how I feel about tracking down a company that doesn't want to be found. I have to get in the right frame of mind and temporarily suspend any belief for some of the unbelievable and unacceptable things that happen in a business world where companies play hide & seek with their customers.

This is a racket. My daughter's calling card had a $10 value on it. If you add up the time that I have spent trying to straighten the whole thing out --another person would simply walk away and say "forget it, it's just 10 dollars."

That's the problem. I would imagine a lot of people simply give up and the company gets people to deposit 10 dollars on a calling card that never gets used. You do the math.

If the U.S. Congress found fit to pass a law that makes it a federal offense to send  anonymous annoying emails and anonymous annoying comments on blogs, then surely there has to be a law that states that companies doing commerce in the United States cannot be anonymous to the general public.

So my quest is to find someone in authority at One World Telecom and have them add $5 to my daughter's calling card. ( Okay I would be happy if they add $10 but I was attempting to be more temperate in my request)  That's it. A reasonable request given the circumstances.

The original problem was that the access number on the card was no longer in working order. Neither were the next 3 phone numbers they gave me to have her try.

Now a word for the calling center. They did call me back on two occasions to update me on the problem. However, it wasn't until yesterday afternoon that I finally got a number that worked.

But, when I went for 'The Ask", I was told that they were just the calling center and didn't have the authority to add $5 to her calling card.

In one of my previous conversations I had learned that this particular calling center handled the customer service for 500 different calling cards

When I asked the obvious question, please give me the number of the calling card company so I can chat with them, I was told, " we are not permitted to provide that information."

And so my quest begins.And so does my request. Anyone who has information in the very secretive One World Telecom, please pass that information my way.

The Bold and The Beautiful

File this under who knew ? The TV Soap Opera The Bold And The Beautiful  could be the solution to frustrated customers who are now forced to deal with customer service representatives whose command of American English is sub par, at best.

I would never have known what a fantastic training tool The Bold and The Beautiful really is unless I had not chatted with Simon, yesterday's technical support person at Verizon wireless.

Simon--who was exemplary--sent me an email to confirm the problems we were working on with my Blackberry had been corrected. When the email arrived it said it was from Muhammad.

Thinking he changed his name because of potential Muslim backlash, I asked if that is why he went by Simon.

Turns out it has less to do with racism and more to do with Indian customs.

According to Simon, in India, it is common practice for people to go by their middle names. Simon's middle name starts with an "s" but evidently Americans are too enunciated-challenged and can't  say his name. So,  he selected Simon to accommodate our inabilities. Thank you.

I also realized that I would be up the creek in India. I have no middle name. Aside from monograms it hasn't poised a big problem  in my life, but then I don't live in India where evidently it would be very problematic.

Hoping he would take this as a compliment, I said something to the affect, " You know Simon ,I talk to lots of people from India on a regular basis(I much more regular than I care to do) and you just don't sound like you were raised there."

Simon chuckled and said, " my secret is The Bold And The Beautiful."  To perfect his accent,Simon would watch the soap and practice saying the lines out loud.

It worked. So here's my suggestion. Throw out the standard English language training classes  and start showing The Bold And The Beautiful at work.

It's an inexpensive win-win. The corporations will be creating goodwill from employees who will appreciate the entertainment  and at the same time it will be professional development that customers will benefit from by having customer service representatives that they don't have to constantly say, " I'm sorry. Could you repeat that?

In fact, showing The Bold and The Beautiful could actually add dollars to the bottom line. .I'm sure that some financial type  could do a cost analysis and demonstrate that implementing a must watch Bold and The Beautiful  policy could end up shaving significant time off of each call.

It could make devotees of Six Sigma proud. Of course there is that downside of showing The Bold and The Beautiful-- it would probably reinforce some negative impressions that these Indian phone reps must have about our values, shallowness,and tendency to throw inappropriate temper tantrum

The World keeps getting smaller for smokers

In case you were wondering how much it costs to get the smoking smell out of a hotel room, Westin Hotel says its $200. That's how much they will add on to any customer's bill who is caught smoking in their rooms after January 1, 2006 ( we still don't have a name for this decade. I still recommend D1/2K)

Meanwhile over in Germany, an employee at a printing company was just fired for smoking in his backyard. According to telegraph.co.uk  the company provided all non-smokers with a bonus. In order to receive the financial reward, employees had to state every month that they did not smoke. The guys's co-workers turned him in.

"The rules were he was to tell us if he smoked. He defrauded us of some 1,200 euros [£800] a year which is enough money for a family holiday. If someone steals from their company, it is normal that they are punished." The company introduced its radical no-smoking policy five years ago and abolished smoking areas last year. Two thirds of its staff are in the programme. "

Last year a Michigan company made the headlines when it fired employees who refused to take a Breathalyzer test after the company instituted a policy forbidding employees to smoke cigarettes --any time, any where 24/7 --365 days a year.

There is a big difference from the firm in Michigan and the company in Germany. The German firm was providing an incentive --a very nice incentive for people to embrace the nonsmoking lifestyle.

The Michigan  firm wasn't  incenting, it was dictating and as much as I dislike smoking, I do not believe a company had the right to fire those employees.

Like the firm in Germany, Roanoke, Va's Cat Communications International  believes the best way to change habits is through incentives. That's why the CEO Norm Mason created a free Vegeteria .

"Mason says he created the "Vegeteria" out of concern for the well- being of his 200 employees of Cat Communications International. So he's giving them all the fresh vegetables, meat substitutes, cakes and drinks they could ever want.

"This was a way to say: 'Look, we don't feel it's right to have the flesh of an animal, an animal killed for your benefit,'" Mason said. "I see it no different than smoking. People are asked to go outside and smoke."

Evidently, some employees felt their rights were being violated and contacted a local television station who challenged Mason's "no meat" policy. Turns out Mason has taken his cue from no-smoking policies.

Employees, can still eat meat in "designated rooms." They just can't eat meat in the corporate funded vegeteria.

Heaven help the shrinking world of carnivore eating, nicotiana inhaling employees.

Blackberry Blues aka Playing the Canada Card

If you read between the headlines, what you'll discover about the Blackberry Bru-ha-ha is that it has as much to do with Canadian pride and nationalism as patent disagreements.

Here's how the Wall Street Journal( linked for those of you who have subscriptions) described the crux of the issue:

"The patent fight involved RIM's use of technology to send email wirelessly and automatically, and without a need to manually retrieve messages. A jury found RIM infringed NTP's patents, rejecting the company's defense that since BlackBerry emails are sent through a Canadian network U.S. patents don't apply."

That's right. RIM is playing the Canada Card. But, they may not be playing it so much for the 4 million U.S. thumbers as they are to the hometown crowd.

About a year ago Engadget wrote a great post on the law suit that explains the issues so that any thumbalina can understand. However, for me, the power of this post is in the comments. Specifically comment 5 from JM

"Both foreign and Canadian investors alike are still really shaky on Canadian technology companies with Nortel still not being "yesterdays news" Although their markets are very unique, RIM is going to bring back memories of Nortel in the eyes of ignorant investors, who do account for a significant amount of capital."

JM goes on to say,

"But im sure if a company in the states who has MIT as a neighbour wouldn't be so frightened, so why should canadians lose so much faith in a company that owes much of its success to our research and technology powerhouse? I mean, there must come a time when us Canadians finally appreciate our ability to create. Part of the technology might have been drawn on paper somewhere else in the world. But Im sure that if American companies that have screwed so many people over, from every country even their own, RIM certainly could do it too."

In the meantime, I'll keep my thumbs waltzing along my Blackberry's keyboard, remaining cautiously optimistic that the parties in question will reach an agreement so that Thumbalinas like me can continue to receive our mobile emails in the style that we have grown accustomed to.

Followup to Unwelcome Company & Phone Racism

Earlier in the week I was plagued with the WinFixer spyware. I started using the beta version of Microsoft's Antispyware. While it found the varmint on my system, it never seemed to get rid of it.

Then Scott Crump-- who I do not believe I have ever met-- left a comment on the post with an important link: http://securityresponse.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/trojan.vundo.removal.tool.html

After following their directions -- you do need to do the process twice, I seem to be spyware free---for the time being. A big thank you to Scott for solving a huge problem for me this week!

That brings me to the issue of phone racism. Just a couple of hours  after I saved that post, I had an opportunity to test my new self-awareness. For the umpteenth time my Linskys wireless connection shut down. Over the past couple of days it was shutting down almost hourly.

With some trepidation I called the 800 number and started talking to Shamit. After a review of my case --- I've called a lot-- Shamit took me through the standard drill and determined that my firmware was out of date. 

As I kept myself in check, being my most patient and cordial self, I noticed that Shamit had a bit of an edge and seemed rather inpatient with me. I found that rather amusing and resisted the temptation to call him on it.

Nevertheless, Shamit determined that the problem was outdated firmware. He told me to download the newer version and said I would be in great shape.  That was around 9:00 a.m.

At 1:00 p.m. I called again. Shamit's solution had failed. This time I was connected to Argentina and Fernando. Fernando determined that Shamit had left out an important step in my wireless's rehabilitation. You have to upload the file once you download it.

Had a lively and fun conversation with Fernando. Unfortunately, the files wouldn't upload and Fernando said he was bumping me to a supervisor who would call in 15 minutes.

At 3:00 p.m. I once again called the 800 number, hoping beyond hope that I would be routed to Argentina. Not this time. Back to India.This time I got Lakshmi. She read the file. In a very polite tone I explained how disappointed I was that the supervisor didn't call me back.

At 4:05 p.m. Lakshmi had successfully helped me install the new firmware. I had been on my best behavior. I was also listening to the conversation to hear what in the past triggered my outbursts. Here's what I found.

I really dislike how often that call me Ma'am. I didn't like ma'am when I was growing up in the south and I really don't like ma'am used as a nickname for Elana. It's not even that Lakshmi uses the "term" its the frequency. of the use.Every frigging sentence. However, yesterday I went with the flow. Obviously that's on the script, that's what she's been told to say. I'll leave her alone.

At the end of the conversation Lakshmi said something no other customer service representative in India has ever said to me,

" I'm glad we were able to solve your problem and thank you for being so patient with me."

Phone Racism

What do you do when you realize you are behaving poorly simply because the people on the other line speak with a New Delhi accent?

The dichotomy is you couldn't find a more polite,pleasant person on the phone than a person based in India. 

Doesn't matter. The more polite they are; the nastier I get.

It took my 16 year- old- daughter Berit to point it out. After a grueling conversation with a tech support person who I was convinced didn't understand what I was "really"saying, Berit shared her observation of the interchange.

"You're a racist."

And so I have done some soul -searching.

My daughter is right. I definitely have a "a tone" that I use as soon as I hear the accent. It's as if "hearing" the accent causes all of my patience to evaporate and that's before I have even described my problem.

I think that qualifies as racist. But I'm a phone racist.

If I met someone from India in person, I wouldn't get the "tone". I wouldn' have any angry feelings. I wouldn't anticipate that they couldn't help me no matter what I said. I wouldn't demand that they "slow down because I can't understand a word they are saying."

Yup, I've said that. And probably worse.

My racism is situational. It's a  strictly phone -based racism.

Some friends who have the responsibility of working with their Indian based phone banks explained it to me this way, " you get angry because they don't deviate from the script. It's like talking to a robot."

And then I realized I don't just save my phone racism for the kind folks in India. I am brutal to the automated phone robots who screen your calls before putting you through to a technician. I get the same "tone"-- I absolutely despise the chipper, always pleasant robot voice that needs me to tell them the model number of my computer, my account number and the nature of my problem.

While it made me feel a little better, I am still appalled at my abhorrent behavior.

I know my anger is displaced. The person in India is just doing their job-- a job they were hired to do by an American firm that doesn't  seem to care whether their customers are abusive, rude and mean to their employees.

It's really an awful situation. The people in India deserve better. The customers deserve better. Shame on the companies that have created a system where everyone loses.

Customers lose because we are not getting the service we deserve. Employees lose because their employers are allowing them to be on the front line and take this awful verbal abuse.

By making me face my own racist behavior, my daughter has helped me realize that I need to start confronting the real source of my anger--the companies that won't spend enough to help improve the quality of service provided in their call centers.

So from now on, if I have a less than adequate phone interchange, I will write to the company. I will lodge my complaint and I will make suggestions on how they can improve their service.

One more thing. I apologize. My behavior has been completely unacceptable.

Is air conditioning a sexist plot?

In doing his research for an article for the Wall Street Journal that is apparently, exactly what Geoffrey A. Fowler found some environmental organizations want Asian women to think

Fowler's article, which appeared in the August 24th edition of the WSJ ( you will need to have a subscription to WSJ to view article) ,focused on the trend and the growing backlash to corporate policies keeping office temperatures hovering around a nippy 60 degrees.

."..frosty air conditioning is a way for businesses and building owners to show that they're ahead of the curve on comfort. In ostentatious Asian cities, bosses like to send out the message: We are so luxurious, we're arctic."

To keep warm, women report they need to wear sweaters and jackets all summer long, drink hot tea and do yoga in the bathroom. Others resort to having floor heaters to warm their feet.

Fowler reports there is a growing resistance to the air conditioning policies--primarily from environmental groups that contends the air conditioning is releasing tons of carbon dioxide into the environment.

To gain support for their efforts, one of the groups, Friends Of Earth (FOE) charges that all of that cold air is sexist.

"...change resistant, tie-clad men often control offices, it says, and aren't bothered by the chill. Women, on the other hand, tend to wear lighter clothing in the summer. "We wear small dresses, so almost every office lady has an office jacket," says Mona Lim, a 31-year-old real-estate developer. "Usually, the jacket is an ugly one," she adds. Hers, a blazer messed up by a tailor, never leaves the office."

So it's come to this. Invoking sexism to support women's vanity for fashion? For their desire to not wear "ugly" jackets.

Shame on the environmental organizations for trivializing and reducing the very real issue of global warming to a fashion statement.

Shame on the women who may be joining their fight against air conditioning  not because the air conditioning could be contributing to global warming or poor working conditions, but because it insults their fashion sense.

Sexism is a very real issue. However,claiming air conditioning policies is sexist is just a bunch of hot air.