Everything About Business Except The Bottom Line: FunnyBusiness

Notes From The Road -- Passengers Tell You The Darndest Things

  It wasn't until we began our descent  into the Twin Cities that I learned the passenger sitting next me was a prosecuting attorney on his way to interview a defense witness in a very high profile case.

Despite the fact that I shared I was a freelance journalist, he chatted with me about the case and the witness who by now has undergone his interrogation.

The case involves the death of an infant back in the 90s. A man was convicted of the murder and spent 10 years in jail before a higher court reversed his sentence on grounds that his defense had not provided proper counsel. He has been out of jail for nearly 5 years.

The county has recently reopened that case and my seat-mate is part of the prosecution team. The defense witness he was interviewing is a pathologist. Evidently the state maintains there is no way that the head injuries that caused the baby's death could have occurred from her falling out of her high chair.

The defense pathologist says those injuries could have occurred that way. So it is  a professional he said-she said. The prosecution's strategy is to attack the credibility of the pathologist. That is what my seatmate was hoping to do.

He indicated that her resume had some questionable entries and it was on those points that he was hoping to put into question her integrity as a witness.

I have no idea whether he succeeded or whether the pathologist was able to explain away the discrepencies.
He did tell me her name and gave me her website.

I will be checking in with her next week.

What Me Worry? Why Corporate Execs Aren't Singing The Real Estate Blues

You'd be smiling too if your latest employee benefits package protected you from  potential losses of the housing bubble. In an article in Slate, Michele Leder---who shares what corporations try to hide in the footnotes of their SEC filings in her blog, Footnoted.org writes:

"the executives who were first in line with jets, sweetheart loans, stock options, and repriced stock options have now devised the first post-real-estate bubble compensation trick. They've figured out how to shelter their own houses from the declining real estate market—by getting their corporations to guarantee their sale price. You may be sweating that you have to sell at a loss, but your CEO isn't. Since the beginning of this summer, at least a half-dozen companies, including eBay and Nike, have disclosed in their routine Securities and Exchange Commission filings that they're now protecting their executives from real estate market forces. The terms in the filings vary—"protection against loss"; "loss protection"; and "price protection"—but the meaning is the same: They are essentially guaranteeing that executives' homes will sell for a good price."

  Image Credit Flickr member Emyduck

What do Tom Cruise,Mel Gibson and Forbes magazine have in common?

They said a bad, bad, thing. Mel apologized. Tom got the boot.Forbes pulled its article. You can read my entire post at blogher.

Suit Yourself

In about three weeks my son Noah will earn his bachelor of science degree in psychology from the University of Wisconsin.  About five days later he will fly to NYC for his first 'job' interview. He's excited. I'm excited.

And of all the things he needs to think about, there is one issue that is taking up a lot of oxygen. Noah's got suits on his mind.

Time was that fretting over your wardrobe choices for a job interview was strictly the domain of women. Men didn't have to think about their wardrobe  because it was a uniform - dark suit, light shirt, conservative tie.

But that business uniform is no longer a given. And, as my daughter Berit pointed out, " If you wear a suit and the office dress is casual, they may think you're trying too hard." Then she said, "But if you don't wear a suit they may think you're not mature enough to do the job."

The Career experts are divided on the issue. Yahoo! Recommends Checking with the job recruiter ( Noah didn't get his interview via a recruiter)

"A business suit is appropriate attire for most job interviews.

If you're not certain whether you should wear a suit, ask the recruiter about the company's dress code.

But, remember, an interview isn't just another day on the job. You need to dress to impress more than ever.

If the company attire is business casual, or even simply casual, you still should consider wearing a suit to the interview. You should also think about what other candidates might wear. You don't want to be remembered for being the only candidate who didn't dress up for the interview.

A good rule of thumb: If in doubt, wear a suit. It's generally better to be dressed too formally than too casually."

The folks at Careerbuilders.com remind readers that first impressions are made within the first 27 seconds of the interview. Their advice was eerily similar to the opinions of my 17 year old daughter.

"If you are too formal in your appearance, you might give the impression of being rigid and stuffy. If you are too casual, you may send the signal that you do not take the interview or the job very seriously.

Begin by talking to employees of your potential new employer and find out what the dress code is and how seriously management takes it. If you can't find out this information, you should choose clothing that is professional in the impression it gives.

• "Wear a suit or sport jacket with color coordinated trousers    
• The color should be neutral or dark - blue, black or gray is best    
• Wear a tie - even if you will never wear one after you get the job    
• Shoes should be leather - clean and polished - black is best    
• Make sure your nails are trimmed and that they are clean."

     

This being 2006, the Careerbuilders.com article had this other piece of advice. Actually this advice preceded the advice on wardrobe selection-- so if you are going to look for a job this summer, just remember....

"The following ideas can never be neglected:

• Look clean and neat. Make sure that your hair is done appropriately. Women - do not wear wild hairdo's Men - get a trim of head and facial hair.    
• Do not wear a perfume or cologne as many people are allergic. Bathing with a good quality bath soap will leave a light scent. You will be nervous and a gentle scent can mask the perspiring you may be doing. An unscented antiperspirant can be used.    
• Cover any tattoos and avoid gaudy jewelry. Definitely limit pierced jewelry to ears only. Do not wear nose or tongue jewelry

Just a couple of thoughts. They recommend that women shouldn't wear an wild hairdoos.  First, I have no idea what is and isn't a "wild" hairdoo. But, why just that advice to women? Shouldn't guys be concerned about their hair as well?

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What does it say about our society that the career advisor feels compelled to remind people to bathe before the interview? Oh, and given that Americans spend  about $2 billion a year on deoderant, was that really necessary to add that in addition to using soap, they could use an anti-perspirant?

As to covering up the tatoos, given the number of people who now have hand, wrist and neck tattoos, perhaps,white gloves and ascots may become part of the job interview fashion  wardrobe.

Image Credit: Image from Flickr member Fabian17

The Final Frontier

It's definitely not for the view. Or the hours .Or the benefits--my health care now costs $700 a month and I'm healthy. Nevertheless, more and more baby boomers are thinking about starting their own business.

This at a time when fewer Americans overall are interested in going it on their own --down to 66% from 72% last year.

Whatever the reason,( and I do have my theories)  baby boomers have Entrepreneurship On The Brain --that from Yahoo's Second Annual Survey of  Entrepreneurial Aspirations.

"Baby boomer-aged survey respondents indicated a significant increase in entrepreneurial aspirations. For example, when asked, "At what age do you think it would be too late to start your own business?," 70 percent of respondents who were 45 to 54, and 72 percent of those 55 and older answered, "I will never be too old to start my own business." The Yahoo survey finds this a substantial increase compared to last year's survey, when 54 percent of those aged 45 to 54 chose the "never too old" response, and 58 percent of those aged 55 and above chose the same response. Across all age groups, respondents choosing "never too old" increased to 60 percent this year, versus 47 percent in the 2005 survey."

I first read about this survey in a post by Jory Des Jardins, one of the founders of  Blogher . For Jory, the survey confirmed her own belief that given the choice most American's would work for themselves. In her post, she shared a quote from Charles Handy from the London Business School.

"Anyone visiting America from Europe cannot fail to be struck by the energy, enthusiasm, and confidence in their country's future that he or she will meet among ordinary Americans—a pleasing contrast to the world-weary cynicism of much of Europe. Most Americans seem to believe that the future can be better and that they are responsible for doing their best to make it that way. It is an attitude that is both infectious and attractive, and it probably accounts for much of the dynamism of their economy, even if it irritates some Europeans on occasion."

In her post Jory said.

"I think of one of my closest friends, a British man, who does very well for himself, and I still don't quite know--after 10 years of friendship--what he does. And yet, when he calls me and asks me how I am I immediately interpret the question to mean, "How's business?" and I proceed to give him the status update of every project on my plate."

A couple of days ago, while driving home in rush hour traffic, I took the opportunity to call Carol, a former associate. Once a high powered executive, Carol  now is a consultant, working very part time. As part of our "catch up" she mentioned she had just seen Susan, another business associate who had "resigned" from her very high powered job after new management at her company made it clear that her services were no longer valued.

Susan  had spent her entire career at this particular company--more than 20 years-- eventually becoming one of the most powerful women in the organization. She's been "retired" for several months.

When I asked how Susan was doing, Carol nonchalantly  mentioned that Susan was planning on starting a consulting business with her partner.

Maybe it was the time of day. Maybe it was the traffic, but my skepticism was heard loud and clear over the wireless magic of Verizonwireless. Carol assumed  my skepticism had to do with their ability to earn an income.

She reassured me, "they have saved a lot of money, they probably never have to work another day of their lives."

"It's not about the money, " I said, not feeling the least little bit in need of reassurance,"It's the mindset. They have spent 20 years in Corporate America. They have no concept of  what it's really like to be a business owner."

If someone were to ask me to bet on whether Susan will be successful as a consultant, I would have to say, probably not.

The general yardstick is that four out of five businesses "close" after five years --the statistic used to be four out of five businesses fail after five years but now that statistic has  been redefined  to acknowledge that some business owners simply want to do something different.

But whether Susan is successful really isn't the point. The point is that for baby boomers, becoming self-employed is often the final frontier.

"The survey found that nearly one-third (31 percent) of those polled said that doing work that they really love was the main reason for launching a business. The second most popular reason, selected by 22 percent of respondents, was "to be my own boss." Less than one-fifth (17 percent) said they decided to start a business "to make more money."

Welcome to the real world.

Image Credit: Flickr image by The House Family

Notes: Susan and Carol are pseudonyms. The conversation did take place. Susan and Carol are real women with real stories.

Tags: Entrepreneurs, Blogher, Business Culture, Women, Yahoo

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Let Me CAll you Sweetheart aka Kibbutz Capitalism

The headline reads: The Best Company to Work for in the World-Period. Featured in this month's issue of The American Way, the magazine for American Airlines, this article will make you smile, create job envy, inspire you, and confirm and reconfirm that in order to have a successful company you do not have to operate as "business as usual."

This is the story of Motek( it means sweetheart in Hebrew) , a software company in Beverly Hills. It's founder and CEO is Ann S. Price. The article begins with a scene where Price is scolding her Marketing Director for taking a three week vacation to Europe. Price wanted her to take five weeks.

“I have had many talks with Amanda about why she isn’t taking five weeks off,” Price says. “It’s impossible to function at maximum productivity without at least a month away.”

Is this a PR stunt or the latest business-management gimmick? Hardly. Price offers her employees a $5,000-a-year travel benefit — for flights, tours, cruises, you name it — but only if they take at least a three-week paid vacation. She gives employees another two weeks off for paid holidays throughout the year and leases luxury automobiles for any employee who has worked at the company for at least 10 years. Then there’s the fact that Price sends employees home at five p.m. sans laptop and locks the doors on the weekend.

Motek's main product is Priya a warehouse automation software that is used by companies including General Electric, Heinz and ConAgra.Observers say Motek's success is not just based on its product but on its processes.

But it’s Motek’s business processes and how it interacts with customers that set the firm apart. Price’s business philosophy — which has been dubbed “kibbutz capitalism” — is enough to make most executives squirm. For starters, everyone at Motek — from executives to the receptionist — knows how much everyone else earns, and they can view the firm’s balance sheet at any time. In fact, Price makes sure that they understand how to understand corporate finances. Employees also vote on strategic decisions, including raises. “By sharing data, we share power,” Price explains.

It’s no idle rhetoric. Consider that every Motek employee has a designated backup available to provide cover while they’re out of the office. The only requirement is to check with the backup to make sure he or she is around before the employee leaves. This, says Price, ensures that “we’re focused on the process rather than on the person.” Employees also know when an employee isn’t able to keep up with the workload. The result? Price offers a financial reward to employees who ask for help in order to stay on schedule. “The goal is to get the work done, not establish a star system,” she says.

This article is so motivating that I want to just copy and paste the whole thing. Most of all, I want to print it out and keep it as a reminder  to myself that the status quo doesn't have to be.

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Senator Bonoff

In a special election for the state senate seat in Minnesota's District 43, my dear friend Terri Bonoff won!  Terri is my first close friend to win a state office and I couldn't be more excited for her.

As a DFLer( that's a Minnesota exclusive -- Democratic Farmer Labor Party) Terri won in a traditionally republican district. And , although she is a relatively newcomer to politics ( she did serve on her city's planning commission), she won in an election against a respected, city mayor.

Over the past twenty some years, Terri has been a client, an employee, a client again and always a good friend.

With four kids at home ( now two in college with a third leaving next year) Terri left a very successful business career around five years ago to spend more time with her children

She is smart. Tough.  And, one of the best negotiators I have ever observed. She is going to be a vocal and strong advocate in the state senate.

So what do you send a friend who has just won an election? I decided to send her a standing ovation from Playfair.com . It's a great way to let someone know they've done a terriFic job.

Episode 2- My American Office

This post has moved to December 27th. The move was made because I now use vblogcentral which makes it incredibly easy to view videos--no downloading necessary--if you have cable connection you can start watching the videos almost instantaneously.

When in Rome

In May New York TV reporter Arthur Ch'ien was fired from his job for saying the "f" word on live TV.

If Arthur had gone to the Weavers School in England he could have claimed, "I learned it in school."  It seems the Weavers School is introducing a new policy.

According to the Daily Mail, students may say the "f" word up to five times. That's not five times a semester, that's five times a class.

Now, in the states high school students go to about six classes a day. So if you can say the "f" word five times in six classes. Well, you do the math. That's a lot of effing words.

"Assistant headmaster Richard White said the policy was aimed at 15 and 16-year-olds in two classes which are considered troublesome.

'Tolerate but not condone'

"Within each lesson the teacher will initially tolerate (although not condone) the use of the f-word (or derivatives) five times and these will be tallied on the board so all students can see the running score," he wrote in the letter

"Over this number the class will be spoken to by the teacher at the end of the lesson."

Parents called the rule 'wholly irresponsible and ludicrous'.

"This appears to be a misguided attempt to speak to kids on their own level," said the father of one pupil. "

Is it misguided ?Or,is it merely a school recognizing that language norms have changed and they are simply recognizing that change?

Last month I was taken aback when one of the key hostesses of Blogher greeted the conference using the "f" word.  It got me thinking as I shared in Bitch Bitch Bitch  that it may be a generational attitude.

About 18 months ago Blogcritics ran a very funny piece advocating  that the "F" word should be allowed on the radio. It's a very funny piece but it also supports the school in England's position. The word is so overused that its lost its power.( actually that point is shared by someone in the comments section)

So, if school is preparation for work. How long will it be before corporations have policies allowing people to say the "F" word ( but only five times in a meeting)?

Back to School

The students won't be arriving until after Labor Day, but Tyler, the former corporate Vice President turned high school math teacher,will be starting his new job this week.

A classic Type A, Tyler has been planning how he will decorate the room and motivate the kids. He hopes "coach" will be part of the salutation. Tyler doesn't just want to teach, he wants to coach. It's been part of his dream for as long as I've known him---almost 20 years.

It's only been 10 months since Tyler left his corporate job. He had plenty of time to prepare --nearly three years ago, Tyler was part of the executive team that searched for a white knight to save his former company. The company was saved but most of the executive staff was shown the door.

Tyler was thrilled. When he took his former job nearly six years ago , he wanted it to be his last corporate one. His goal has always been to be in a financial position so he could afford to be a teacher. Thanks to the merger and a wife who has a secure and high paying career, Tyler has the freedom to pursue his dream.

Over the summer Tyler did his student teaching in a remedial geometry class in a inner school school.  Think Dangerous Minds. were nearly 40 students in the class. As he said, " if you can teach here, you can teach anywhere."

He didn't agree with the teacher's strategy for the class. " his goal was to cover all the material. There's no way these kids were going to get it.  You could see the kids eyes glazing over."

Tyler said if it were left up to him he would have focused on two or three key concepts.Then he added, " I wasn't the teacher."

Now he is. He has a contract. He has a room. He has the text books. He has a bulletin board to design and he has lesson plans to do.

Throughout the year, we'll be checking in on Tyler to hear about his  transformation from corporate executive to high school math teacher.

Have a great year, Tyler!

NOTE: Tyler is a pseudonym. His contract probably forbids him from talking about his job without clearance from the school district.