Everything About Business Except The Bottom Line: FunnyBusiness

AOL'S Little Black Book

When AOL fired " John", a customer service rep  caught on tape  making it very hard for Vincent Ferrari to close his account, there were some of us who said, "John shouldn't have been fired, he was doing his job."

Turns out The Consumerist, now has evidence that the former AOL employee was indeed just following company policy. You can now read the complete AOL Retention Manual for Yourself.

   "A plain manila envelope arrived on our desk this week. Inside was the eighty-one paged "Enhanced Sales Training for AOL Retention Consultants" manual. Upon opening, the flowchart, "Guide to a World-Class Retention Call," fell out.

One thing quickly becomes evident after reading the pages of tips and tactics. Callers are viewed not as customers, but prospects. Under the heading, "Think of Cancellation Calls as Sales Leads," the manual reads...

 

From the Manual....

"If you stop and think about it, every Member that calls in to cancel their account is a hot lead. Most other sales jobs require you to create your own leads, but in the Retention Queue the leads come to you! Be eager to take more calls, get more leads and close more sales. More leads means more selling opportunities for you and cost savings for AOL."

Meanwhile according to Reuters, New York Attorney General Elliot Spitzer is not amused.

"Last year, Spitzer investigated AOL's customer services policies and how it paid service representatives after about 300 New Yorkers complained about how difficult it was to cancel. AOL, a unit of Time Warner Inc. (TWX.N: Quote, Profile, Research), in August agreed to reform its procedures, provide fee refunds and pay New York $1.25 million in penalties and costs.

Yet AOL may not be out of the woods. On June 28, lawyers from Spitzer's office sent a letter to AOL demanding more information about its customer service and is seeking a meeting with its executives."

There you go again...Comcast Got It All Wrong

Last week AOL fired a customer service rep caught on audio for doing his job . A blogger had taped his conversation trying to cancel his  service.

The soundtrack became an online hit. This week's online sensation is the napping Comcast technician. If you happened to be watching Cable News this weekend, this video got a lot of coverage. But it was the wrong coverage.

They focused on the fact that Comcast fired the poor technician, who after waiting on hold for an excruciating and obviously mind numbing 90 minutes to his own office,took a nap. The technician napping, wasn't the issue.

Comcast's horrible customer service was supposed to be the butt of the joke. Unfortuneately, Comcast's knee jerk reaction was to focus on the fact that the technician nodded off.

Who wouldn't fall asleep after 90 minutes on a  Cozy Couch?

The Comcast technician didn't deserve to get fired any more than John at AOL deserved his firing earlier this month. What he deserved was a Gift card to Starbucks.

A couple of weeks ago,I encountered the working conditions of a Comcast technician. I had offered to greet the Comcast technician at my friend Myrna's house while she visited her dad in the hospital. He was working in her bedroom. I was downstairs.

After 45 minutes I went in to check on his progress. There he was, sitting on the floor with the phone cradled in his neck..on hold with Comcast. At the time I found it amusing.While I was used to being put on hold for technical support as a customer, I had no idea that the internal folks were treated the same way.

What's with that? We chatted. He said he always was put on hold for long periods of time.It was just part of the job. The guy who posted the video--Brian Finkelstein(who created his blog Snakes On A Blog for the sole purpose of being invited to the premiere of Snakes on a Plane) wasn't upset with the technician. He was upset with Comcast. That message got lost in the humor of the napping technician video. As he said on his blog,Snakes on a Blog,

At one point Comcast sent a technician to replace my cable modem/wireless router. This should have taken five minutes. Instead, when he called Comcast to activate my new modem, he was placed on hold for nearly 90 minutes. When I asked him why he was on hold for so long, he told me that phone reps were busy filling out customer service surveys. Then he fell asleep on my couch. I could have made a few suggestions for their survey. Anyway, after they missed two appointments in the last 24 hours, I’ve finally lost all hope of Comcast actually getting my internet connection working. To commemorate my miserable experience, I made this video (including footage of the technician asleep on my couch)

As expected, Comcast fixed the problem. Turns ot it was quite complicated and took at team over 5 hours to finally get his interent working. Jim Durbin, at Brandstorming also thinks that Comcast missed the point recommending that if they had had a blog they could have alleviated the bad press.

1) Link to the video from the Comcast blog. Comcast screwed up, and admitting it is the first step to take. Link the video, admit how embarassing it is, and call up Brian to personally apologize. Give him six months worth of free service.
2) Work to correct the problem. The problem is not the poor tech. It's the fact that cable service is a mockery, and everyone from sitcoms to comedians to average customers make fun of the service of cable guys. They even made a movie about it!
3) Don't fire the tech. Make him into a commercial where he drinks a lot of coffee. Turn this around. Use the guy as an example of how they are improving.
4) Highlight your successes by tracking progress. Highlight your successes. Make your improvements public.
5) Focus on other positive ways you can use blog marketing.

There's another aspect to this story. Instead of punishing the technician for taking a nap , Comcast should be applauding him --at least that's the belief of Camille & Bill Anthony of The Napping Company who are tiredlessly (because they nap) campaigning to promote work- time napping. More on that at another time -- but their point is that napping increases productivity. I hope to have an interview with them later this week. So in addition to the Starbucks for a year card, I think Comcast should also become a sponsor of National Napping Day --which always falls on the Monday after Daylight Savings starts.

Meanwhile, Comcast and AOL should rethink their firings, apologize to the booted technicians and yes, apologize to their customers.

Hat tip to Church of the Customer for leading me to Brandstorming. This is cross-posted at Blogher

Note: In the original post I had incorrectly identified Jim Durbin as Frank Durbin. Franki Durbin is his wife. The error was correct on 6/30/06.

Did AOL's Customer Service Rep deserve to be fired?

Move over Coke Cola. After living with the dubious distinction as the most agrigous example of a company  self-imploding its own brand ( Think NEW COKE), it can now finally hand over the reign to AOL. As one person who commented on an anti-AOL blog said, "It's not 1995 anymore."

Unlike COKE ,whose undoing happened over a short, finite period of time, AOL is more like Al Pacino's character Sonny in the 1975 Classic, Dog Day Afternoon --holding innocent people hostage.

The latest AOL bru-ha-ha is over a former customer, one Vincent Ferrari ,who had the foresight to tape his call with the  unsuspecting John --an AOL customer service representative, as he tried to cancel his account. While the call may not get as many downloads as Connie Chung's "Thanks for the Memories," it is becoming an instant online hit.                                                       

For those of you who don't want to listen to the excruciating five minutes of Vinny pleading to have his account canceled, here is the gist of the conversation by way of Consumers Affairs.com

AOL: Hi, this is John at AOL. How may I help you today? Ferrari: I want to cancel my account.

AOL: OK. I mean, is there a problem with the software itself? Ferrari: No. I don't use it. I don't need it. I don't want it.

AOL: Last year, last month it was 545 hours of usage.

Ferrari: I don't know how to make it any clearer. So I'm just gonna say it one last time. Cancel the account.

AOL: Well, explain to me what is wrong.
Ferrari: I'm not explaining anything to you. Cancel the account. The conversation continued for another 5 minutes, ending with ...

Ferrari: Cancel my account. Cancel the account. Cancel the account.

In a not so surprising move the day after the news of the call hit the blogwaves, AOL announced it had fired our man,JOHN.

"At AOL, we have zero tolerance for customer care incidents like this -- which is deeply regrettable and also absolutely inexcusable," said AOL spokesman Nicholas Graham. "The employee in question violated our customer service guidelines and practices, and everything that AOL believes to be important in customer care," he said.

He then added,that AOL is

"going to learn from this -- and continue to make the necessary, positive changes to our practices. This was an aberration and a mistake, and we have to manage these incidents down to zero as best we can."

An Aberration? Not tolerate this behavior?  I would maintain that JOHN was just following company policy. And, that our man JOHN was simply doing the job he was paid to do. It's not as if AOL didn't just pay $1.25 million in fines for promoting just the behavior that JOHN demonstrated so gallantly in his call.
Firing JOHN is firing the messenger. JOHN didn't deserve to be fired.

It was less than 365 days ago that AOL agreed to the fine and promised the State of New York that it was reforming its bonus policy for customer service representatives.

Under the agreement, AOL will no longer require its customer service representatives to meet a minimum quota for customer retention in order to receive a bonus. Previously, AOL would distribute bonuses in the "tens of thousands of dollars" if representatives were able to retain half the customers who called to cancel their service, according to the attorney general.

While I don't know John personally, I'd love to hear his side of the story. I have a hunch he's singing like a jailbird to his attorneys.

Meanwhile, there are hundreds of thousands of people who still want to cancel their AOL. Last year, Utterly Boring shared a sure fire 3 minute solution to getting your AOL account canceled. The account was reported in the NY Times.

Guy tried for better part of a week to cancel AOL. He talked to six or seven different people on six different days. Each time he was thwarted by what is apparently an AOL plot that make it next-to-impossible to cancel the service, as the representatives pretend to be concerned about you and your reasons for cancellation and give you soothing chat and reasons to continue AOL service.

Finally, weary of the runaround, he went into a "chat room" and  started threatening to kill people in the room.

His AOL account was canceled in under three minutes.

Image credit: Flickr member huberjoshua

Lost in Translation

As frustrated as I get talking to folks at call centers in India -- and it is a frustrating experience 90% of the time-- it is still better than trying to deal with companies who just don't think its important to give customers the option of a phone call.

Just today I wanted to try a new software called Notepager,I discovered it at a blog called Small Business Software which is run by the parent company of Notepager.

The concept sounds great. You install some software, create a recipient list and you can send txt messages via your computer. Why is that important? Primarily because I have a 17 year old daughter whose primary communication method is TXT messaging.

But also, TXT messages are a lot less invasive than the phone and  there are many people I deal with in business that don't have a PDA or Blackberry Being able to send a quick TXT message to a regular cell phone is just easier than leaving a voicemail.

The only problem--I can't get it to work. I read the instructions but something is getting lost in the translation of the setup wizard. I am obviously not understanding something that I need to do.

I have tried it three times. I believe in the three strikes and you're out philosophy of doing business.

 Yes, they have support forums up the yahzoo but I don't have the time or inclination to figure out which topic will provide me with the answers I need. Once I am at the point where I can't interpret the instructions, I want a translator and that usually means I want someone to talk to.

 This company doesn't  even have a technical support email system that I can send my questions to. So I sent it to the webmaster.If I don't get an answer soon I will be requesting a refund.

Then there is the design company that requests are discussions about layouts and creative design be conducted through a password protected communication system.

I sent the requirements, expecting the graphic designer would contact me to discuss the project. Instead they presented a layout. It was all wrong.

We gave feedback via their note system  and explained what we wanted.They revised.It was still all wrong.

We gave additional feedback. I wanted to call. They don't do business via the phone.They came back with yet another design, and it was still wrong.

My client, who also  believes in the three strikes and you're out philosophy of business, has instructed me to send them a note saying the job is cancelled.

Normally it is not something that I would do via a note. However, since that is how they want to do business, that is precisely what I did.

While I understand there is a benefit in having everything written so you have precise documentation, a quick 10 minute phone call would have been all the graphic designer would have needed to understand exactly what we were looking for.

After that call, if the graphic designer wanted to send a note confirming our requests.just for the documentation, then that would have been terrific.

But that's not how they are choosing to do business. Had they just picked up the phone at the beginning of the project, they would have saved time and kept a client.

Image Credit: Flickr image by MireO5

Tags: business, communication, mobile phones, software, advertising, customerservice

Powered by Qumana

Homage to Countdown's WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD- THE GREYHOUND BUS COMPANY

All I wanted was an explanation. My son Noah is taking the Greyhound Bus home today for a weekend visit from Madison Wisconsin. He had asked for me to purchase the ticket online.

Not a problem. But when I was about to finish the transaction I saw a Gift Service FEE of $15. Now, the cost of a Greyhound Bus ticket from Madison Wisconsin to Minneapolis, MN...a trip of less than 300 miles is $47.00. Add to that a fee of $15 dollars and the cost is now $62.00 an increase about 30% .

So I called Greyhound customer service. To their credit they told me it could be an extremely long wait. 34 minutes later I reached a Mr. Camerillo( not sure of the spelling). I asked for the explanation.

He said if my son had called and the credit card was in his name then there would be a 4% handling fee. But they charge the $15 whenever someone  purchases a ticket for someone else aka "a gift:

"WHY?" I asked, " How could the cost of handling my credit card be any different then handling the credit card of my son?"

That's when he said, " Well how much would it cost you to wire your son money to pay for the ticket."

Okay, I have never wired my son any money. and I have no idea what the fee is. But  I also have no idea what the business practices of Western Union have to do with Greyhound processing my American Express card.

I pressed him on this point. But he kept on going back to what it would cost me to wire him the money for the ticket.

I asked to speak to his supervisor. He gave me a different number. Again, the message that it would take a long time. 1 hour and 1 minute later ( it is now 6 pm central) the call center picks up my call. Guess who answers?  My good buddy Mr. Camerillo.

At this point I was not amused. Forget the fact that Greyhound has one person in their customer call center  When I identified myself in a less than cordial manner, Mr. Camerillo offered to transfer me to his supervisor's line ( why you ask didn't he transfer me the first time? Because the first time, their offices were still open)

When I reached their executive offices I got a voicemail. I left a message. I will follow up.And, no I didn't purchase the ticket. I'll transfer the funds (free of charge) into his bank account and he can use his debit card to make the purchase.

Their policy is hideous. The only explanation I can come up with ( and I welcome a different explanation) is that they are gouging the poor. What other explanation can it be?

A 30% service fee on a bus ticket is unconscionable. If Keith Olbermann heard about this he would definitely name them  today's ' THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD".

You can't make this stuff up.

Name

 

Name

A quest and a request

After the fourth day and the fifth attempt to figure out  how my daughter could use her One World Telecom prepaid calling card to call home for 9 cents a minute as opposed to the 31 cents a minute on her international cell phone, I decided to go for The ASK.

I didn't get very far. More on that later. That's when I decided to go on a quest-- I want to find out who owns One World prepaid Calling Card. The name on my daughter's card says One World Telecon -- I can't find them.

Perhaps my commitment to go on this quest was inspired by the fact that I have just completed Mark Helprin's Freddy and Fredricka-( a book club book) - Actually it wasn't the book that inspired me, but  R Forzani's review of it on Amazon

"If you decide to read this book, let me give you a bit of advice: You must get in the right frame of mind, which is to say you should temporarily suspend any disbelief, in preparation for some of the literally unbelievable things that happen in this wacky story. Just accept and laugh at some of the situations the two main characters get into, which at times border on the absurd, and you will enjoy this book more. "


That's how I feel about tracking down a company that doesn't want to be found. I have to get in the right frame of mind and temporarily suspend any belief for some of the unbelievable and unacceptable things that happen in a business world where companies play hide & seek with their customers.

This is a racket. My daughter's calling card had a $10 value on it. If you add up the time that I have spent trying to straighten the whole thing out --another person would simply walk away and say "forget it, it's just 10 dollars."

That's the problem. I would imagine a lot of people simply give up and the company gets people to deposit 10 dollars on a calling card that never gets used. You do the math.

If the U.S. Congress found fit to pass a law that makes it a federal offense to send  anonymous annoying emails and anonymous annoying comments on blogs, then surely there has to be a law that states that companies doing commerce in the United States cannot be anonymous to the general public.

So my quest is to find someone in authority at One World Telecom and have them add $5 to my daughter's calling card. ( Okay I would be happy if they add $10 but I was attempting to be more temperate in my request)  That's it. A reasonable request given the circumstances.

The original problem was that the access number on the card was no longer in working order. Neither were the next 3 phone numbers they gave me to have her try.

Now a word for the calling center. They did call me back on two occasions to update me on the problem. However, it wasn't until yesterday afternoon that I finally got a number that worked.

But, when I went for 'The Ask", I was told that they were just the calling center and didn't have the authority to add $5 to her calling card.

In one of my previous conversations I had learned that this particular calling center handled the customer service for 500 different calling cards

When I asked the obvious question, please give me the number of the calling card company so I can chat with them, I was told, " we are not permitted to provide that information."

And so my quest begins.And so does my request. Anyone who has information in the very secretive One World Telecom, please pass that information my way.

A reminder to self: People read this stuff

It was not a call I would have ever expected to get. I guess I can thank Google Alerts--I doubt that Arnold Angeloni,CEO of Americinn ,is a regular reader of FunnyBusiness --not that there would be anything wrong with that.

Whatever the reason, it seems that Angeloni read my blog post where I shared some frustrations with the wireless setup at the Americinn in Ashland, Wisconsin.

Now Angeloni, didn't actually call me but he called the manager in Ashland and made sure that Todd, the manager did. Todd assured me that the next time I'm at the Americinn, I won't have any problems connecting to secure sites using their wireless system.

It was a small gesture. It took Todd maybe 3 minutes at most to leave me the voicemail and then chat with me when I returned his call. But I have written about my adventures in hotels and motels for the past year and the Americinn is the first place that responded.

I like that. It made me feel very good that the CEO was paying attention.

What it said to me is that the company is committed to customer service and they want to be known as a company that listens to their guests. I believe that.I saw that in action when I stayed there.Everyone was lovely and very helpful.

At the same time, it's a sobering reminder to myself about the power of the media because had I not blogged about it,but rather simply said something to Todd or even written to the company's headquarters,I doubt that the CEO would have gotten involved.

My wireless connection problems is exactly the kind of thing subordinates don't bother a CEO about.

When I was just starting out as a reporter, I covered a story about a young boy who had been kidnapped in Georgia and was found wandering around the Sears store in Richmond, Va. He had a note attached to his shirt, call my mom in Georgia.

Unbeknownst to the folks in Richmond, all hell was breaking out in Georgia. Jimmy Carter was the governor and he had called on the National Guard to search for the young boy.

When the Richmond authorities finally contacted Georgia -- more than 24 hours later--Carter had the mom flown up on the state jet.

I was in the airport to cover the joyful reunion. As I was standing there chatting with one of the camera guys from Georgia, he said, "find out why Richmond waited  more than 24 hours to contact Georgia to see if there was a missing boy." 

Seems that instead of following the instructions on the young boy's shirt, the authorities followed their procedure and handed him over to social service.

The next day, knowing that I was going to have some fun, I called the detective on the case and said I wanted to do a followup.I started the story very gently, and then doing my best Mike Wallace impersonation, I went in for the kill, demanding why they waited to call anyone in Georgia.

I was relentless. The police office was completely blindsided.  I left feeling I had done some of my best journalism ever. A couple of days later I learned he had been "transferred"..

Instead of feeling victory, I was horrified. I didn't mean for anyone to get fired. I just wanted them to not make the same mistake twice.

And so, as tickled as I am that the CEO of Americinn listened to what I wrote, it is a reminder that people actually read this stuff and that I have a responsibility to share stories honestly, accurately, and without any hint of personal revenge because someone's job could be on the line.

Name

The Bold and The Beautiful

File this under who knew ? The TV Soap Opera The Bold And The Beautiful  could be the solution to frustrated customers who are now forced to deal with customer service representatives whose command of American English is sub par, at best.

I would never have known what a fantastic training tool The Bold and The Beautiful really is unless I had not chatted with Simon, yesterday's technical support person at Verizon wireless.

Simon--who was exemplary--sent me an email to confirm the problems we were working on with my Blackberry had been corrected. When the email arrived it said it was from Muhammad.

Thinking he changed his name because of potential Muslim backlash, I asked if that is why he went by Simon.

Turns out it has less to do with racism and more to do with Indian customs.

According to Simon, in India, it is common practice for people to go by their middle names. Simon's middle name starts with an "s" but evidently Americans are too enunciated-challenged and can't  say his name. So,  he selected Simon to accommodate our inabilities. Thank you.

I also realized that I would be up the creek in India. I have no middle name. Aside from monograms it hasn't poised a big problem  in my life, but then I don't live in India where evidently it would be very problematic.

Hoping he would take this as a compliment, I said something to the affect, " You know Simon ,I talk to lots of people from India on a regular basis(I much more regular than I care to do) and you just don't sound like you were raised there."

Simon chuckled and said, " my secret is The Bold And The Beautiful."  To perfect his accent,Simon would watch the soap and practice saying the lines out loud.

It worked. So here's my suggestion. Throw out the standard English language training classes  and start showing The Bold And The Beautiful at work.

It's an inexpensive win-win. The corporations will be creating goodwill from employees who will appreciate the entertainment  and at the same time it will be professional development that customers will benefit from by having customer service representatives that they don't have to constantly say, " I'm sorry. Could you repeat that?

In fact, showing The Bold and The Beautiful could actually add dollars to the bottom line. .I'm sure that some financial type  could do a cost analysis and demonstrate that implementing a must watch Bold and The Beautiful  policy could end up shaving significant time off of each call.

It could make devotees of Six Sigma proud. Of course there is that downside of showing The Bold and The Beautiful-- it would probably reinforce some negative impressions that these Indian phone reps must have about our values, shallowness,and tendency to throw inappropriate temper tantrum

Press #0 Four Times on the phone pad

YES! The ultimate cheat sheet  is available to one and all who are sick and tired of talking to robots, and receiving options  from sophisticated voicemail systems that don't fit their problem.

Click here...and save this site. You will want to visit it frequently..

The big takeaway--- seeing all the various contortions people have to go through to get to a live customer service representative, you get the idea these companies really don't want to talk to us.

Hello? If I could figure out the problem by myself I wouldn't be calling you.

Years ago, bankers believed if they just made it painful enough to stand in bank lines that people would get used to using ATMS. For the most part, the strategy has worked for getting money out of the bank. But, if you want to make a deposit, bankers say, use a teller.

For some reason when you make a deposit in an ATM it is more likely to trigger a longer "hold" time on your deposit.

It makes no sense but neither does the convoluted phone systems that companies now use for people trying to reach a live customer service agent/representative.

They must think that if they are patient enough, we'll adjust to the robots just like we've adjusted to self-service gas stations, ATMs, and booking airline tickets on line.

What they don't get is those are very specific tasks...repeatable tasks. News Flash-- I hate filling up my car especially when I have nice shoes on. I, if dressed for business ,would go to the full-service option if any of the gas stations in my neighborhood offered this service -- they don't.

When we call customer service, it's not like filling up the tank. It's not to complete a repeatable, teachable task. Instead, it's  often for a problem that has never occurred before and may never occur again. Some things depend on human contact.

The other thing that I love about  this list is that I feel validated. It wasn't my imagination. You often have to work very hard to reach a live human being .

In case you haven't peaked at the Cheat Sheet here is some of what you'll find:

AT TiVo, you say " Live Agent" .If you are traveling on Delta you have to repeat Agent FOUR times--but not in a row. That's four times each time they ask for a response, then you get to go live. Geez.

Meanwhile over a T-Mobile you don't say agent, you say representative.

At Safeway, silence is golden. If you refrain from saying anything, you get bumped to the front of the line.

And, unfortunately for those of you who need to get in touch with Compaq, the code can't be cracked.

The Cheat Sheet is the brainchild Paul English who has done his good deed for mankind. The media is enthralled--English has gotten coverage from The Guardian Unlimited to People Magazine.

And, from many of us who have lost our tempers and said very foul things to those robots, Thank You from the bottom of our hearts.

Followup to Unwelcome Company & Phone Racism

Earlier in the week I was plagued with the WinFixer spyware. I started using the beta version of Microsoft's Antispyware. While it found the varmint on my system, it never seemed to get rid of it.

Then Scott Crump-- who I do not believe I have ever met-- left a comment on the post with an important link: http://securityresponse.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/trojan.vundo.removal.tool.html

After following their directions -- you do need to do the process twice, I seem to be spyware free---for the time being. A big thank you to Scott for solving a huge problem for me this week!

That brings me to the issue of phone racism. Just a couple of hours  after I saved that post, I had an opportunity to test my new self-awareness. For the umpteenth time my Linskys wireless connection shut down. Over the past couple of days it was shutting down almost hourly.

With some trepidation I called the 800 number and started talking to Shamit. After a review of my case --- I've called a lot-- Shamit took me through the standard drill and determined that my firmware was out of date. 

As I kept myself in check, being my most patient and cordial self, I noticed that Shamit had a bit of an edge and seemed rather inpatient with me. I found that rather amusing and resisted the temptation to call him on it.

Nevertheless, Shamit determined that the problem was outdated firmware. He told me to download the newer version and said I would be in great shape.  That was around 9:00 a.m.

At 1:00 p.m. I called again. Shamit's solution had failed. This time I was connected to Argentina and Fernando. Fernando determined that Shamit had left out an important step in my wireless's rehabilitation. You have to upload the file once you download it.

Had a lively and fun conversation with Fernando. Unfortunately, the files wouldn't upload and Fernando said he was bumping me to a supervisor who would call in 15 minutes.

At 3:00 p.m. I once again called the 800 number, hoping beyond hope that I would be routed to Argentina. Not this time. Back to India.This time I got Lakshmi. She read the file. In a very polite tone I explained how disappointed I was that the supervisor didn't call me back.

At 4:05 p.m. Lakshmi had successfully helped me install the new firmware. I had been on my best behavior. I was also listening to the conversation to hear what in the past triggered my outbursts. Here's what I found.

I really dislike how often that call me Ma'am. I didn't like ma'am when I was growing up in the south and I really don't like ma'am used as a nickname for Elana. It's not even that Lakshmi uses the "term" its the frequency. of the use.Every frigging sentence. However, yesterday I went with the flow. Obviously that's on the script, that's what she's been told to say. I'll leave her alone.

At the end of the conversation Lakshmi said something no other customer service representative in India has ever said to me,

" I'm glad we were able to solve your problem and thank you for being so patient with me."