Everything About Business Except The Bottom Line: FunnyBusiness

Are Furloughs Becoming The Strategy Du Jour To Cut Costs?

Experts say current reporting methods makes it difficult to document just how many employees are losing wages because of forced furloughs-- aka as unpaid time off.  What the experts know is that more companies/hospitals/city/county/state governments/ are turning to furloughs to help cut costs and safe job.

The "f" word is popping up everywhere.Described as "employee purgatory,"because employees lose pay but can't claim unemployment benefits,furloughs cause a great deal of financial stress.

Swartout, the 28-year-old Maryland researcher, could lose as much as $800 in pay, or nearly 2 percent of her salary, depending on how long she's furloughed. "That's a huge chunk," she said. The timing and duration of the furloughs of non-critical state workers are still unclear, she said, but the loss will mean she'll struggle to make her monthly $500 student loan payment.

This was the message California state employees received December 22, 2008.

Furloughs: Beginning February 1, 2009, and lasting through June 30, 2010, rank-and-file employees will be furloughed two days per month. For employees who are not part of a bargaining unit (i.e., exempt appointees, career executive assignment employees, supervisors and managers), we will implement an equivalent furlough or salary reduction plan effective February 1, 2009. We intend to implement these measures in a way that does not affect your retirement.

According to Matt Richtel of The New York Times the strategy of using furloughs instead of layoffs has a lot to do with the speed and depth of how this financial crisis unfolded.

Companies taking nips and tucks to their work force say this economy plunged so quickly in October that they do not want to prune too much should it just as suddenly roar back. They also say they have been so careful about hiring and spending in recent years — particularly in the last 12 months when nearly everyone sensed the country was in a recession — that highly productive workers, not slackers, remain on the payroll.

At some companies, employees are supporting the indirect wage cuts — at least for now. The downturn hit so hard, with its toll felt so widely through hits on pensions and 401(k) retirement plans and with the future so murky, that employers and even some employees say it is better to accept minor cuts than risk more draconian steps.

How long will employees share this goodwill?

The magnanimous feeling will probably pass, said Truman Bewley, an economics professor at Yale University who has studied what happens to wages during a recession. If the sacrifices look as though they are going to continue for many months, he said, some workers will grow frustrated, want their full compensation back and may well prefer a layoff that creates a new permanence.

“These are feel-good, temporary measures,” he said.
                                                                                              New York Times

As a result of the furloughs, more people are looking for second jobs to help offset the loss of income from the forced furloughs. A Great Strategy --now if you can just find one of those second jobs.

NPR Reporter Laid -Off While Doing A Series on Lay-Offs

And so it goes. After a 31-year career at NPR, Ketzel Levine was one of 64 NPR employees who got lay off notices a couple of weeks ago. If it wasn't tough enough that she had been with the organization since 1977 -- doesn't seniority ever count? Ms. Levine was doing a series about the impact of layoffs when she got word that she was part of the growing number of Americans who are finding themselves without steady work.

In September, Ketzel Levine, a senior correspondent for National Public Radio, came up with an idea for a series about how Americans were handling economic pressure. Called “American Moxie: How We Get By,” it began in early December. The subjects were people like an Illinois farmer who loved tending to his cows, but was having to sell them. “My idea was to look at how we adjust, how we change, what we have to dig deep and find in order to do what it takes to get by, and that’s where moxie came in,” Ms. Levine said.
                                                                                                                    New York Times

Meanwhile Levine has opened up shop at her blog at Ketzel Uprooted.  Her former listeners at NPR are responding with acts of kindness.From offers to redesign her blog to offers to go skydiving, Levine's audience is reaching out to her.

... Ketzel Uprooted is my newly created blog, my first step towards reasserting my right to take up space despite having been taken off the air. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not bitter. OK, so maybe I feel a little betrayed. But when the company you love finds itself operating at a 23 million dollar deficit, come on, something's got to give.

But damn it, not my self-esteem.

So, like the folks in my final NPR series, American Moxie, if you're flush with courage or desperate for support in this increasingly hellish time, if you want to swap stories or strategies or just need a shoulder to cry on because your damn dog is losing either her mind or her bladder control(read: my beagle) and your favorite plants will not make it through another day of ice and cold (read: stay tuned for the casualities), I'm open for business, grateful for the company and am ready to entertain.

(Resume available on request.)

Arby's Commercial Latest Entry Into Fast Food As Erotica Genre

I never saw it. Until 10 minutes ago I didn't give the Arby's logo a second thought. If someone had asked I might have said the logo was supposed to be  a lasso or cowboy hat-- it's a cowboy hat---or  at least that is what it used to be.

 What I would not have said is that  it's a phallic symbol.  Now, thanks to Arby's new commercial for its Chicken Cordon Bleu Sandwich every time I see the logo I'm just going to see a bright red penis. I promise you that will not make me want to go to Arby's.

 Where was the brand police when the advertising agency pitched  this concept?  How could the execs at Arby's think that it would be a good thing to turn their logo into a cartoon bright red penis?

If the commercial was not so pathetic, un-sexy and unappetizing, it would just be downright insulting. As it stands, it's just belongs in the Advertising Hall of Shame.
 It's a shame that the executives at Arby's have so little respect for their own Brand.
It's a shame that they felt compelled to attempt to  sexualize their logo.
 It's a shame they ever shot or aired this commercial, and most of all it's a shame I had to see it.


.As the folks from Ads From The Weird said, "Sex does not sell everything. And one thing it really doesn’t sell very well is fast food."

From Ads From The Weird

The chains’ recent ad for the chicken cordon bleu sandwich begins with a pudgy guy wearing sweats and white socks sitting on a bed, surrounded by pillows and candles.

"You know I’m only doing this for your birthday!" a woman calls out, before entering the room wearing an Arby’s uniform and carrying a tray of food.

"Wow," the man exclaims, "Me likey." And then, as if we didn’t already get the not-so-subtle hints, a cartoon version of the chain’s logo -- a long cowboy hat -- pops up above the guy’s head, accompanied by a little "boing" sound.

Consultants Being Asked To Take A Pay Cut

When you charge out at $150 an hour and bill 40 plus hours a week -- you make a pretty nice living.

Oh, should I say you made a pretty nice living?  The days of enviable day rates could be coming to a crashing halt.

Is the downsizing of the consultant's day rate the latest victim of the economic meltdown?

A friend of mine has had a wonderful consulting relationship with a major corporation for over five years. During that time she has worked almost full-time at the corporation-- billing around $150 an hour. It was not unusual for her to work 60 plus hours a week.

Needless to say she had a lovely lifestyle and the best of both worlds -steady work and a great day rate.

Unfortunately for my friend,  it looks like that gravy train is about to come to a screeching standstill.

Recently the corporation notified all its contractors/suppliers/consultants/freelancers that from now on  the company was offering  a one size fits all consulting fee of  $65.00 an hour. Take it. Or Leave it.

My friend will take it. She doesn't have a choice. And that's really the point -- in this dance between corporations and consultants, corporations are now the ones who can fill up their dance card in a matter of moments.

 Several years ago the consultant pool was not as competitive.Good consultants could name their price. We had a boom boom economy . Now that we are in a NoVa economy , the pool of qualified/smart/hungry/sad/competitive/desperate/laid-off/professionals turned consultants is exponentially larger.

This is great news for corporations looking to cut costs. It's not so great news when you are the cut-tee.And so as 2008 is about to end, there are many who will look back to the early innocent days -- the $150 hour days of January 2008 --and think "Those Were The Days."

Note to HR Folks: Hiring Over-Qualified People Is A Smart Strategy

Corporate America needs an attitude adjustment. The hubris is nauseating.  Picture this. You are sitting in your office/cubicle/conference room/ knowing that  you have benefits/paycheck/job and you are telling someone who has been out of work for seven months that you can't hire them because they will be bored?

Trust me: when you have been out of work and are worried about feeding your family/the mortgage/bills/health insurance  no job is boring. It's a gift. A treasured gift.

 Maybe when we lived in the go-go economy of the early 2000's, it may have made sense to reject an applicant who was over-qualified because jobs were abundant. But this isn't a go-go economy, this is a NOVA economy.
Jobs are not abundant.

 I think businesses need to embrace the over qualified. They are good for business. Instead of spending lots of time training them, the over-qualified  can help mentor the rest of the staff. They have years of experience and expertise that you can tap into .

Being bored at work is not the issue when you don't have work. So HR folks imagine yourself in these shoes.One day you are a success in your profession. The next day no one wants to talk to you. Like a child star on a sitcom who can never find work again, thousands of employees are finding it tough to keep a career.

 CNN featured the Sandwich-board man - the MIT toy industry executive who as a last resort started walking the streets of NYC with a billboard asking for a job interview. The publicity worked. He is now gainfully employed.

Mika Brzezinski shared her own frustration of being out of work for a year after she was let go at CBS. At the time she was earning $500,000 and then no one wanted to hire her. She took a big step down and did freelance work reading 4 -30 second news headlines an evening.  That flexibility eventually led to her new high profile job on Morning Joe.

Now Chiara Sforza  tells her story in the New York Times feature, Preoccupations. Sforza went from being a bank vice president to a dog walker.

It was actually a relief when I was finally laid off. The company had notified us in March 2007 that the department was going to be outsourced to Manila, and I couldn’t stand the stress of waiting. I’ve been downsized several times over the years, but I always landed on my feet. Of course, I was in my 30s and 40s then. Now I’m in my 50s, and it makes a difference.

When I applied for other jobs I was overqualified for the available positions. I was willing to take a pay cut and a lesser title, but no one would give me an opportunity. I had been an accounts-payable supervisor years ago, so I even applied for those positions. Employers were afraid that I would become bored.

 

There are now millions of people looking for work. Hiring someone who says they want the job even if they are over-qualified is  an opportunity for organizations to bring in the best and the brightest .Who knows, the may be able to help develop strategies or processes that helps the organization increase productivity .Maybe they can be role-models for the less-qualified staff. Maybe they can mentor.

Just as retailers are slashing prices to get people to buy something/anything, think of these over-qualified applicants as employees on sale--deeply discounted, top of the line employees at unbelievable prices. It's a steal.

Meme: Seven Things You Didn't Know About Mika Brzezinski

So what did we learn today? We learned a lot about  Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough  thanks to a Howard Kurt's Media Notes column.

Brzezinski's story is a great reminder that no job is too menial when you are out of work  Her story reminds us how hard it is to succeed as a woman in media when you are over 40 years and that successful careers can disappear in a flash.

We also learned  that Joe Scarborough is really a feminist and someone you definitely want as your champion. Way To Go Joe!

.In case you don't have time to read the entire article - here's seven things you didn't know about Mika Brzezinski.

1. After a 10 year career at  CBS, Brzezinski was fired/contract not renewed/let go along with other reporters- to cover Katie Couric's salary
2. Brzezinski was 40 when her/ contract was not renewed/fired/let go
2. Brzezinski was out of work for a year after she was fired/contract not renewed/let go from CBS
3.  Brzezinski took a freelance job (that's code that this was a major step down from her previous career which included 60 minutes-)  reading four 30-second news cut-ins every evening duringMSNBC's Joe Scarborough's, Scarborough Country.
4.Brzezinski gives Scarborough all the credit for her current gig. She says he fought to get her on the show. The suits at MSNBC  wanted a more traditional reader or someone much younger.Scarborough resisted the pressure. Way to go, Joe.
6. Brzezinski is now doing a daily radio show with Scarborough
7.  3, 647.007 have viewed Brzezinski"s YouTube moment when she refused to lead her newscast with a  Paris Hilton. Brzezinski has social media to thank for cementing her job as a co-host

Workplace Animated Mini Movie: The Stapler

Just discovered Mini Movies  It is not a YouTube wannabe. It's a movie channel for professional filmmakers.It's emphasis is on high quality films.   Best part: they have an entire category dedicated to the workplace.

From the site:

MiniMovie selects films with engaging storytelling and production values. In addition, through partnerships with major festivals and premier universities, MiniMovie creates a platform for talented filmmakers to garner exposure and appreciation. Quality comedy defines MiniMovie. We invite you to share your love of funny films and filmmaking with us.

So I present Stationary, a Jason Fairley short about a  willful piece of paper that tries to escape the jaws of a  domineering.stapler.

I selected this particular short because its good, the music is great and I have a particular affinity to the lowly office stapler. I've blogged about it often.. There was my piece on the Centor Stapler.,  When I was freelancing for the Chicago Tribune I wrote a piece on trends in the stapler category . I also did an entire blog post on the differences between American and European Staplers and then there was the blog post on my preference for colored paperclips and staples. So, when I saw their was an animated short on a stapler, I couldn't resist.

Click here to watch the video in fullscreen.

Is it Playboy or The HuffingtonPost? You Can't Tell By The Photo

It's not that business news should be boring or just focus on the bottom line. But recently ,The HuffingtonPost ran a story about the state of plastic surgery in the U.S. A very legitimate story. It's just that the headline and photo they used to promote the story was more cheesecake than bottom line.

 Which begs the question - Did they just hire a bunch of online folks from Playboy to work as editors for the business section.?

 From the Huffington Post::

Plastic Surgery Business Sags Amid Recession, Celebrity Regrets
This is the  accompanying photo for the story. Now last I checked, humongous breast implants  a la Pamela Anderson are not the only kind of plastic surgery.

I would guess that ordering up a super-sized pair of cupcakes is not the #1 plastic surgery request.They are competing with requests for  regular sized breast implants, nose jobs, face lifts, scar removal ,Botox, breast reduction, hair implants, eyebrow lifts, tummy tucks and laser vein treatment -- just to name a few.

The business editors  could have opted for a face bandaged  after a face-lift or the tell tale bandage after a nose job. Instead....

Even if the business editors wanted to use a photo of a woman where they could be no doubt that she was not naturally endowed but had acquired an augmented pair of bolt-ons, couldn't they have picked a woman wearing a sweater? Don't you think we would have gotten the point?

Was their really a need to use a photo of  Double F breast implants spilling out of a B cup bikini top?

The misogynistic photo and it's accompanying headline are so sophomoric that  they make my eyeballs hurt.

Bazooka breasts sag and so does the economy. Get it? They both Sag! Hehehe. Yes we get it.

Not even sure that's the kind of headline Playboy would use. It's actually  the kind of  headline and photo some 14- year old testosterone-crazed boy would have on his My Space page.

Oh about that news regarding The Plastic Surgery Industry

  Evidently 62% of the physicians responding to An  American Society of Plastic Surgeons survey  said they had performed less surgeries in the first part of this year.

Even more startling- many of these physicians said they had openings on their calendars.

Even more shocking -- The doctors are now willing to negotiate their fees.

But who needs to focus on that when we can focus on a pair of sagging boobs.

Must Read: Meghan Daum's: Barack Obama has added you as a friend on Facebook

Treat yourself to a good, hearty belly laugh and read Meghan Daum's parody in of Facebook  in the LA Times  Barack Obama has added you as a friend on Facebook. 

Even if you have never been on Facebook, never plan to join Facebook, and even bemoan the fact that many of the rest of us use Facebook, this is a must read . In between the guffaws, there is a very serious message about how information and news is shared in this very powerful social media network. 

 Enjoy.

December 5

- ♥ Barack is now listed as "in a relationship" with The U.S. Auto Industry.

December 9

- Barack is totally not friends with Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich.
        Rahm Emanuel: Me #&% neither!

December 10

- Barack is reiterating how much he's not friends with Rod Blagojevich.
        Hillary Clinton: Ditto.
        Timothy Geithner: Ditto.
        Lawrence Summers: Ditto.

- Barack, Rahm Emanuel, Hillary Clinton, Timothy Geithner, Janet Napolitano, James Jones, Bill Richardson, Lawrence Summers, Joe Biden, Bill Clinton and The U.S. Auto Industry joined the Facebook group We're Not Friends With Rod Blagojevich.
- Rahm Emanuel was tagged in a photo album Rod And Rahm Just Chillin' by Rod Blagojevich -- 128 photos.

Nominated for a Shorty

Nominated for a Shorty
Originally uploaded by FunnyBiz

May I just say few things could make me happier than to be honored with this yet- to -be prestigious award for short content.

The Shortys are honoring  people for their tweets on twitter.

 

AlohaArleen nominated me for this award saying " this journalist is newzy, funny & just plain weird. Now why would she say that?

Some of my tweets:

I'm getting sick of the pajama gram commercials particularly the line: " all that spa stuff women just love" 12:38 AM yesterday from TweetDeck

MSNBC sports guy: soccer player so intrigued whether Beckham is as endowed as underwear ad suggests; will check out in lockerroom. News? 5:58 AM Dec 18th from TweetDeck

Have you ever seen a stopper to put in the opening of your coffee lid so the heat won't escape? Very Minnesotan http://twurl.nl/crm5zf 5:32 PM Dec 16th from TweetDeck

So to vote, just click HERE and type in FUNNYBIZ-- that's my handle on Twitter.

Not to be too greedy - I have no problems being nominated in the business category as well.. If they had a  weird business category that would be ideal. Since they don't I'm happy with weird and/or business.

Thanks for your votes. They are appreciated.