Everything About Business Except The Bottom Line: FunnyBusiness

Should FunnyBusiness be my starter blog name?

                    

              
                      

Call it blogger's naivite. When I named this blog, FunnyBusiness I wasn't thinking long term.

I wasn't thinking that there was a newspaper columnist who owned the url for funnybusiness who might one day decide to start blogging.

I didn't think that another group of bloggers would launch their own blog called, Funny Business.

When you are in business, not thinking ahead is a problem. I have a problem.  In the next few days I will make a decision of whether to continue calling this blog FunnyBusiness or come up with a new name that  is less replicable.

I'm on the fence. But I'm thinking. You can read more at Blogher

Image Credit:Flickr Word Art

Making the Z-List

They're known as the A-listers -- those elite  group of bloggers that seem to garner the lust, love and attention of other bloggers and most importantly, main stream media. The A-listers are invited to speak at conferences and share their wisdom . The A-listers names pop up everywhere. Other bloggers want to link to them in hopes that some of the A lister's blogging dust sticks to them.

When the mainstream media decides to invite a blogger to share their opinions, they go to the A-list.   

That's where the Z-list comes in.  See in blogging, you get on the A-list by having a ridiculous number of people linking to your site -- its not necessarily about the number of people who visit your site, its about the links.

So the Z list was created to help the non A listers increase their link power.  As they say "there is no A list so there can't be a Z list. Just Good Blogs."

Call it blogging envy or revenge of the bloggers but this is a list designed to challenge the status quo.

The Z-list was created on December 12,2006 by  Mack Collier at Viral Market decided to create a meme called the Z-list. As he wrote

Here's the deal: In an effort to bring more link-love to those blogs that I feel aren't getting their due, I've created a small list of blogs below that I've linked to. The idea is to create a meme built around giving link-love to the blogs that deserve it, and hopefully turn Technorati's system of using a blog's # of links to determine its 'authority', on its ear.

This was his original list.

Shotgun Marketing Blog
BrandSizzle
bizsolutionsplus
Customers Rock!
Being Peter Kim

As of this morning, the list was over 300 strong. It's now being hosted on Squidoo where it has become a 'lens" where you can go to the list and vote. As of this writing,  FunnyBusiness was number 12 on the list. There is another Funny Business (two words , not one) on the list. That's the group of bloggers who opted to use a name very similar to mine when they started blogging last May. More on that  at another time.

If you decide to vote, a click on the up arrow is a good thing. A click on the down area drops the entry  to a lower ranking on the list.

So vote now, vote often.

Has the voting closed for the Dummest Moments in Business?

What I can't tell is what year am I voting for?  For that matter, I can't tell if my vote even counted. How dumb is that?

While I think I was able to vote on this Business 2.0  poll,(I clicked, it took me to a results page, ) I noticed that one of the options  in the poll has already made the 101 dummest moments in business for 2005.

To confound things even more, it's not the one that got the most votes in the poll--so how did it end up with the dubious honor as the dumbest of the dumb moments?

Nevertheless, I voted . I have no idea if this vote counts. But I wanted my voice to be heard even if I'm the only one listening.

You can  participate too--maybe.  Just click on the quiz on the left, or click here and it will take you to the Business 2.0 page. You'll need to scroll down to find the quiz . While I have no idea if votes are still being counted, you can see how over 40 thousand people voted.

What do you think I voted for as the dumbest business moment?  This one is so dumb that it defies the limit of 365 days. I'll share my answer next week.

The entire list of 101 dumb business moments is a great read even if its talking about stuff that happened way back in 2005.

Will YouTube destroy corporate meetings?

Anyone who has sat through an "All Hands" corporate meeting knows that they tend to include portions that are reminiscent of the last night of camp.There are skits, parodies and inside jokes. They are designed to be a moment in time ---relevant  only to the people sitting in the auditorium for the 90 minute meeting .

They are not created with the intention of anyone other than employees ever seeing this intimate insider look at their corporate culture.

Kind of like sex tapes. People who make them usually don't think they'll make their way to YouTube either.

To be completely transparent on this issue I have been a writer of these  corporate skits, parodies and inside jokes.  Companies often pay consultants good money to create this bonding experience.  They are great fun to work on and profitable.

Trying to create a bonding experience is  exactly what Bank of America thought it was doing when it asked two employees to rewrite the lyrics of U2's ONE to capture the emotion,potential ,and core values of the merger between Bank of America and MBNA.

It was supposed to be a Bank of America thing. Someone leaked it to YouTube. When you are not part of the culture, listening to a song about core values is  about as comfortable as eavesdropping on two lovers whispering sweet nothings into each other ears.  To outsiders,it sounds like dribble.

Corporate love banter is the same. The guys -- two Bank of America employees--are evidently embarrassed that it was leaked. Three people have posted comments about the video on YouTube

I had to sit through this video at a management meeting, those around me taking it seriously. Problem is, I belong to the One organization, believe in it and was horribly offended at the bastardization of this great meaningful song.

The Wall Street Journal picked up the story and  columnist Jared Sandberg  wants to showcase more corporate rock performances. He is asking people to contact him at [email protected] if they have a video of a corporate rock performance.

Sounds like it could be the  beginning of the end of skits, parodies, and corporate songs. 

What's UP?

My intention today was to do a story on a UPS strategy to avoid left turns. Thought it was timely since I am expecting a visit from the UPS.

Turns out  that no right turns  not only saves time by is very fuel efficient. CNN ran a story about it this morning(video includes a Chase commercial) and digg has an article about it as well.

That made me wonder if UPS only goes left, what about FED EX? Couldn't find that answer but that did lead me to this in my Google search. An entry that asked the question: "If Fed Ex and UPS merged would they become Fed UP? "

Which then led me here. to a a piece on the word UP.  I normally don't post other people's complete posts but in this case, you would have to scroll down a rather long page to find it.

So here it is, David Bar-Tzur's take on UP.

There is a two letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any other two letter word it's UP. It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we waken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special, and this is confusing.

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP.

To be knowledgeable of the proper uses of UP, look UP the word in the dictionary. In a desk size dictionary, UP takes UP almost 1/4th the page and definitions add UP to about thirty. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.

When it doesn't rain for a while, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so I'll shut UP.

Donald's Heart of Gold

  Fox News covered it as a FOX NEWS ALERT. As the media waited with baited breath to hear Donald utter the words he once tried to copyright-- Donald did what Donald does. He got more headlines.

If this whole MISS USA escapade were an algebraic equation it would look something like this Scandel + redemption =Rating Bonanza $$$$$$.

You can read the entire post at Blogher.

I eat Chinese Food on Christmas

It's that time of year when co-workers wish you holiday cheer.  Chances are sometime today someone will ask, "So what you are doing for Christmas?" Which assumes you do celebrate Christmas. For those of us who don't, here's the answer in song.

And for those of you who do celebrate., Have a merry merry.

There"s No Place Like Work: Book Review

If you go looking for this book on Amazon be sure you don't confuse it with the other There's No Place Like Work written by Brian Robertson which is how government, business, and our obsession with work have driven parents away from home.

It's not just the similar titles that caught my attention. It was the reader reviews. Both of these books got 5 STARS. To put that in perspective, Tom Peter's Classic In Search of Excellence has only 4 STARS.

The Amazon star system of course comes from citizen reviewers and in the case of business books, the reviewers are often close friends and associates. This of course makes it tough to trust citizen reviewers. For the record I would give this 1 1/2 STARS. Book reviews are not my genre. However, the publisher's pitch letter did intrigue.

...you will learn how to analyze and manager your company's culture and create a workplace that fits who you are and what you want your company to be.

It's not that there isn't good information in this book. It's not that the book didn't get me thinking. It's just that the delivery was painfully sophomoric. In what I can only guess is an attempt to make a business book palatable to women, the authors --both PhD’s -- decide to retell the Wizard of Oz as a modern day fairy tale metaphor of a business owner "DOT”, who goes on a journey to a meaningful workplace for her business --Three Click Express (can someone just gag me with a pair of red shoes).

"I know someone who might be able to help," Mr. Mayor suggested. His name is Mr. Insite, and he lives near Reflection City. He has successfully advised other companies with similar issues. He's practically a wizard!"

"If Mr.Insite knows how to get Three Click back on track, I'd sure like to meet him," Dot said.

"Well, he's somewhat of a recluse. He primarily conducts research, but sometimes he'll meet with visitors at his private lodge," Mr. Mayor explained. "He doesn't accept phone calls. My understanding is that you just have to go there, and if it's a good time for him, he will meet with you."

"That's odd," Dot remarked. "It is, Mr. Mayor agreed with a chuckle,” but that may be his intention. Sometimes we learn the most of ourselves when we try something that's no so comfortable, when we take a strange or different path, even one that may appear to be a mistake."

What was not so comfortable was sloshing through this dribble. I couldn't decide whether I was reading a book written for 4 year -olds or just reading a bad skit on Saturday Night Live.

Which is unfortunate because their seven insights to creating a workplace that feels like home are solid. One of my key takeaways was on the importance of not hiring people just because of their ability to do the job. The authors stress that the health of a business depends on having a workforce with shared values and that it is very important in the hiring process to make sure that candidates values are aligned with the business.

This book is divided into two parts --the first is The Wizard of BIZ story which drones on for 80 pages. Part II, from pages 83-134, are written for serious business people who are interested in understanding their concepts and putting them into practice. The back fifty has case studies, charts, and advice on how to implement a work culture that feels like home.

While I would not recommend paying full price for this book, you can get a used copy for $.93 on Amazon. This is cross-posted at Blogher. 

Tagged with "5 Things" Meme aka Mirror Mirror

When one of my favorite bloggers,Nancy White tagged me to participate in the " 5 Things Meme" I immediately agreed to play in the sandbox. Then, I panicked. In her post  Nancy promised that I would be funny.

Where that off-handed remark  led me is to think about the  impact that a single comment or action can have on our lives.

Recently, my 17 -year-old daughter took me to task for something I said to her last summer.  I hurt her feelings. I don't even remember saying it. To me it was just an off-handed remark. Something I said without thinking about . I walked away from that conversation completely ignorant of what impact I had on her.

It's one thing to hurt someone's feelings intentionally and then make amends,but when you have no idea that your words or actions are changing someone's world, it is daunting indeed. 

So here are five comments ( or actions) that  changed my world.

Five comments that are a mirror into who I am and why I do what I do. Five comments that the people who delivered them probably have no recollection about. To them, it was a moment in time. Something to say. An off-handed remark. To me, it was life altering. Funny how that works.

1. " You are such a pretty little girl."  The first time someone other than my family told me that I was pretty was on a Sunday afternoon in the cafeteria of the state hospital in Marion, Virginia. I distinctly remember twirling around in my dress and feeling so grateful that I was pretty. Even at five,the power and importance of being good looking was not lost on me. It was a belief I held for the next 6 years.

2. " You're not pretty enough to be a majorette."  I was first chair clarinet. The last chair was held by the most beautiful girl in the school. Our band director, Mr. Azzarra, paid a lot of attention to Brenda. Not so much to me. When he was talking about the auditions for majorette he specifically targeted his message to Brenda and a couple of the other girls.  But I wanted to be a majorette. I wanted to twirl the baton and I definitely did not want to wear the hot band outfit and march with a clarinet stuck in my mouth. Twirling seemed a lot more fun than marching. And so I said, 'I'd like to audition too.'  That's when he said it. "You're not pretty enough."Who knew? I was relying on old data. I was relying on the lovely lady in the state hospital cafeteria who had told me I was pretty. Until that moment I thought I was pretty. 

3. "Elana got the only A."  The year was 1968. Honors English. Miss Pinkleton's class.  Douglas Southall Freeman High School, Richmond, Virginia. She was handing out our graded term papers. She was one tough teacher. This was the only A --actually A- that she gave in any of her classes. All  year I had either gotten a B- or C+ on my papers.  This was different. I didn't have to write a creative piece on sidewalks. This was a term paper on Sinclair Lewis. Getting that "A"made me believe that I could be a journalist. It gave me a confidence that I had never had before. One grade. One paper and I was off to the University of Missouri School of Journalism. What if she had given me a B+?

4. "You're not attractive enough."  You'd think I would have learned the first time, but there I was again. This time sitting in my news director's office at WWBT-TV in Richmond, Virginia. He was explaining why I couldn't  be a weekend anchor. His explanation, " You don't look like a TV anchor. You're not attractive enough. Your hair is wrong, your makeup is wrong."  So that's why I decided to leave TV. Not the lousy pay or the ridiculous working conditions, I left because I was told I wasn't a looker.

5. "They laughed  at my book report."  The year was 1969. I was in Ms Sanders English class. She was having us do oral book reports. My book was "Of Mice and Men." I didn't intend to be funny but somehow when I told the class that I could never been as good a friend as George was to Lenny because I didn't think I could kill my best friend, the class laughed. Instead of being embarrassed, I got in a groove. And made them laugh some more. 

I don't think I have thought about the importance of that book report until Nancy tagged me the other day. Sharing a serious concept in a funny way felt right.  It still does.  I don't necessarily think of myself as a funny person. I think of myself  as someone who sees humor in the world and hopefully on a regular basis I have an opportunity to share that humor with you.

My tags are going to family (I come from a family of talented bloggers) and a couple of bloggers I've communicated with but don't know that well.

Robert Centor
Devorah Centor Zamansky
Josh Centor
Paul DeBettignies
Jason DeRusha

Image Credit:  The mirror is from Sticks.com. Their furniture makes me  laugh.

Update: Today is December 18,2006.  I stumbled upon ProBlogger and decided to throw my post into the ring for a fun project called The Group Writing Project. More on that later.

Tassimo's Publicity Not Helping Sales

  As far as public relation strategies go, Tassimo hit the goldmine this year when it launched it's "regifting survey."

Everyone from The New York Times to US NEWS to The FresnoBee have been tripping over themselves to do stories on the art of regifting --a term we can thank to the creators of Seinfeld. From The New York Times:

Regifting has probably existed since time began, but it was more than a decade ago, according to neology experts, that a word was actually pinned on this largely hidden practice. The day was Jan. 19, 1995, to be exact, in an episode of the television show “Seinfeld,” that George uttered the word regift. Since then, it has become part of the lexicon and moved out of the closet.

In every single one of the articles Tassimo, along with  the research firm Harris  Interactive, gets a mention. Sure beats last year's Tassimo survey on the popularity of fruitcakes-- which certainly didn't get the play of this year's regifting survey.

What the media doesn't include in these stories is that Tassimo's sales are dismal. From Furry Rabbits, a blog from a "group of brilliant hares who care deeply about word of mouth, marketing, and blogs. And carrots.", I found my way to an article explaining why these single serve coffee makers that are so popular in Europe  are just not connecting in the U. S. Market.

"Why are sales so cold? Research from NPD Group indicates pod customers are dissatisfied with unreliable machines, pricey refills, the limited selection of blends, and lack of availability of the pods. Since many refills are not compatible with other machines, and supermarket shelf space is so competitive, it's hard to find a wide selection of pod brands in grocery stores. On top of all that, many consumers complain the beverages violate the creed of American coffee consumption: the drinks are too cold and the serving sizes too small. (Do marketers not realize Americans like things super hot and extra ,

According to TNS Media Intelligence, Tassimo spent $15 million on marketing from January to August 2006. And, if you are interested in buying one of these coffee makers, they are on deep discount. The one cup cofee lovers weblog, Single Serve.com is sharing the Tassimo TA 1400 which regularly sells for $169 can be yours for $107 --including rebates.

Oh, and as regifting goes, a survey done by New Media Services shows,

"In fact, the NPD study found that 17 percent of single-serve machines were either returned, thrown out, or given away."