Everything About Business Except The Bottom Line: FunnyBusiness

Bus Break

Riders Beware: If the bus route goes past a casino, don't be surprised if your bus "suddenly breaks down"-- at least that was the case for Brent Usry's son . Now, if I hadn't had my own terrible customer service experience with Greyhound, I may have looked at this claim with a bit more skepticism...But as Chris Argyris maintains in the Ladder of Inference, our beliefs often short circuit reality. in this case, nothing that Greyhound does would  surprise me in the least.

Here's what we know. Brent Usry's son took the Greyhound. from Las Vegas to California.

Fourty Five Minutes Later.... My cell phone rings. It is my son he was ranting about the stupid bus driver and air conditioning. I said "What are you saying, it is 107 degrees and he is not running the air conditioning?" He said no "he is running it full blast and we have over heated 3 times." I said "Is it hot in the bus" he said "No it is freezing".

"Why is he running it so cold?"  He said; "We had Just past Whiskey Petes Casino and he called and said the bus was having problems and they sent him back to whiskey petes to wait an hour for a new bus."

He said; "Now he is joking about everyone having some gambling time, and I think he did this on purpose. He said it has happend to him a lot." My son stayed outside while everyone else headed into the casino. (he is only 17 and there is not much for a 17 year old to do in a casino.

According to blogger Usry, in checking with other folks, "stateline casinos give a lot of perks to bus drivers who bring in big loads of people."

As blogger Usry says in his post, he doesn't know what really happened....maybe it was a bad bus --maybe it was a bus driver who wanted to spend the afternoon at the casino.

The reason people suspect that the technical problems could have been human induced is that Greyhound has a culture that invites its customers to think the worst of them. how proud they must be.

So, do Greyhound buses regularly break down at casinos? Or was this just a case of a bus driver joking around and feeling thankful that they broke down at the casino instead of the Barnes and Noble.

Image Credit: Flickr member Ian Fuller

Charmed, I'm sure

Stepping into Jennifer Warwick's The New Charm School is a Forrest Gump moment.-- you really don't know what you're gonna get and its all delicious! I bring up this overused,trite( okay and gagable) cliche because in a wickedly delightful diss,Warwick reminds us that the use of cliches is the mark of a lazy writer.

    Climbing the corporate ladder is tough. Doing it in 3-inch pumps is tougher, according to the National Association of Female Executives. Let’s just ignore the fact that cliches are the mark of a lazy writer. Am I the only one who finds this image irritating, for reasons other than the fact that it’s completely overused? There is a ridiculous new “self-help” book out for women called something like “Climbing the Corporate Ladder in Heels”…I’m so annoyed by the author’s conceit that I can’t be bothered to look it up. Basically, you take a little quiz to find out how you work, and then read your section for helpful career tips. Doesn’t sound too bad, right? Well, the choices available include CEO…Diva…and Cheerleader. Is this career advice or a catalog of collectible Barbies?

From bad books to suspect studies, Warwick tackles a wide array of issues of interest to working women. There's a category called Women and Technology. where she shares news and studies.

Policy makers, educators, managers need to recognize that you can’t generalize to all women,” said Dr. Eileen Trauth, professor in the College of Information Sciences and Technology (IST) [at Penn State]. “There is far too much variation in the paths that women take for anyone to assume that women’s career motivations are the same, their methods of balancing work and family are the same, or their responses to motherhood are the same”…

You can be inspired by reading the stories of gutsy women of the world.

When Tina Dutton’s daughter Leanna told her that she didn’t like being the last person in the taxi after a night out, Tina heard her loud and clear, and knew it was time to act. She did her research, raised some money, and got to work. But she didn’t pursue the usual worthy activities, such as organizing a walk-a-thon to promote women’s safety, hounding her elected officials, putting up flyers about safety in the ladies’ rooms in bars, or recruiting a celebrity to do PSAs to scare the life out of solo women everywhere. Tina started a company. Pink Ladies, founded in 2005 in the UK with business partner Andrea Winders, is a car-hire company with a women-only policy on both drivers and passengers.

And my personal favorite category- The case for naps, cocktails, carbs,and cute shoes.

A Wake Forest University study of more than 7,000 “older women” (defined as women over 65) found that those who drink two to three drinks a day of alcohol have better verbal abilities and higher levels of mental function than their teetotalling sisters. Additional research is underway to determine whether alcohol also increases levels of “good” cholesterol, lowers the risk of stroke, decreases the likelihood of Alzheimer’s, and helps learning and memory function. So read the whole article and have a Sassy Red Lady. As we say here at New Charm School, you’re never too young to take care of your health.

On her website Jennifer.inc Warwick describes herself as "a women's career strategist who believes that when women bring their full selves to their work and personal lives, transformation happens for them, the people around them, and the world. As a coach, she supports and challenges her clients to take off their masks and bring their true selves to their work and their lives."

So, if you happen to live in a part of the country that is going to have a rainy weekend, pull up the laptop, get comfy and spend some time at The New Charm School-- you will be charmed, I'm sure.

Note: This is cross-posted at Blogher

NO PENS

Later this afternoon I'm taking my son Noah to the airport. He's moving to New York City where he starts his first job on Monday.  Besides their first month's rent, spending money and other assorted items, what is a great gift to give someone who is starting their first professional job?

Evidently it is not a Montblanc,Waterman or Pelikan pens. Fortunately for me I asked some people before I went shopping. I first asked my neighbor Judy who works in HR for a Fortune 500. We were walking along the Mississippi when I asked if a lovely pen would be a good gift.

She was diplomatic. " You know I had a Montblanc in the 80s. I lost it," she said, adding, " I think it might be a bit old-fashioned now."

I let it sink in. I too have had a Montblanc since the 80s. I  use it in meetings during the rare times I use pen and paper --my typical mode is to thumb notes on my Blackberry. But, I still love my Montblanc and until Saturday thought it was a lovely business accessory.

It didn't bother me that  she was saying a designer pen was no longer an appropriate gift  I was bemused at myself because I was clueless.

Here I have  wantonly appeared at meetings, strategically putting my Montblanc on the table, and instead of saying "this is a woman who understands business culture, I  might as well have put a neon sign on my head saying "OLD SCHOOL".

Hoping this Montblanc hostility   might just be Judy's personal issue, I emailed a good friend who happens to be an executive in New York. I posed the pen question to her.

Her response was "NO PENS".

I didn't need a third opinion.

When  did this happen? Was it prior to Y2K? Did designer pens lose their cache when corporations decided to relax their dress codes?

As businesses revert back to more formal business attire could we see the day when a designer pen doesn't say old-fashioned ?

So I'm cool. No pens. But when I asked what business accessory I should get Noah...the only thing anyone could come up with was an iPod for the subway.

Now, I may not have known that pens were so last century but I do know this,--anyone who is graduating college and starting a job who doesn't already have an iPod probably would not appreciate one.


NOTE: Judy is a pseudonym. She is my neighbor and she definitely works in HR.

Get With It already. You sound like an old fogy

   

     It's one thing to say you don't listen to hip hop music. Or that you are bewildered with the fascination of tattoos and body piercings.

It's an entirely different issue when you don't see the 2000 pound gorilla in the middle of the room. The gorilla is the impact of social networking media on corporate America. It seems that executives just don't get it.

Recently Industry Week ran an article called "Unconvinced: Corporate Blogging."

Just 5% of executives said they were convinced "to a great extent" that corporate blogging is growing in credibility as a communications medium, while the percentage dropped to 3% of executives who were convinced "to a great extent" that corporate blogging is growing in credibility as a brand-building technique. As a sales or lead-generation tool, the percentage dropped to less than one. The survey on corporate blogging was conducted by Harris Interactive on behalf of New York-based public relations firm Makovsky + Co.

While the executives certainly have a right to their opinion. History is not on their side. Corporate culture is changing and online social networking is the technological equivalent to a corporate cultural tsunami. that is going to force organizations to reexamine how they interact with employees, customers and shareholders.

Matthew over at  Blogging4Business has a warning for these executives.

But perhaps the most interesting stat is the one that shows just how out of touch many top execs may be when it comes to new forms of business communication.

Less than one-third (30%) reported having a thorough understanding of the term “Internet blog.” (A blog or weblog combines text, links and images to form a personal journal full of news and opinion.)

If two thirds of the recipients don’t even understand what a blog is, then a, they can’t really understand what its potential impact might be, and b, blog evangelists obviously doing a particularly good job illustrating to companies why an open form of online conversation can help their business.

Turns out Ostriches don't really bury their heads in the sand....

If threatened while sitting on the nest, which is simply a cavity scooped in the earth, the hen presses her long neck flat along the ground, blending with the background. Ostriches, contrary to popular belief, do not bury their heads in the sand.

Looks like that leaves corporate executives as the ones who are burying their heads in the sand hoping beyond hope that these new fangled ways of sharing information will just go away.

Image credit:  Flickr member bingbing

Companyclick -where Myspace meets the watercooler

One of the newer social networking spots on the web is Companyclick-- It's a place for employees of The Fortune 500 to meet other people in their own corporation. Dimitry Rappoport says he got the idea when he worked in the financial sector. He says he always wanted to meet other people at work but just didn't know how. At best he says his networking circle always hovered around 10-15 people

In its first month, Companyclick signed up around 500 members. Rappaport says when they reach 50,000 they hope to attract advertising.

  You can listen to the entire podcast.

Would you fly from Minneapolis to New York City with a birthday cake on your lap?

It happened about 20 years ago. The woman was an executive at American Express. She was in Minneapolis for business and had timed her trip so she could attend all the necessary meetings in Minneapolis and still get homein time for her young child's birthday dinner. The only catch -- in order to make it happen she had to buy the cake in Minneapolis and fly with it on her lap.( I forget the reason why her husband couldn't pick up the cake--whatever the reason that was her task) She was afraid to stash it in the overhead bin for fear the icing would get smushed. She sat for 3 hours with the cake in her lap because at the particular moment bringing a birthday cake home to her child was something she felt she had to do to feel as successful at being a mom as being an executive. Twenty years later, it seems that women are still struggling about how much of their mom life to bring to the office.

Recently the WSJ  ran an article about Harvard and other graduate schools that are now offering executive education programs targeted to stay at home moms who want to return to work.

Over at Watercooler Confidential Sarah Trammel has some issues with moms who bring mommying into the workplace.

I think I've hired a few of these women - the ones who didn't take the Harvard brush-up course. Including Sandie, mother of a pre-schooler and a third grader. Sandie quickly proved invaluable when one faced the "I need a birthday present for my niece but I'm clueless" crisis. But she didn't understand that while the edges of work and personal life sometimes get fuzzy, the phrase, "take care of what you need to" doesn't mean call home 26 times...in two hours. Everyone in the cubes witnessed first hand the "missing blankie" crisis, the "school uniform never got washed" crisis, and the "Mr. Principal, my son bombed the TAKS test because of your incompetent teacher" crisis.

Sarah's lament hit home. During the 18 months when I worked for Rapp Collins I had a strict policy that whenever my kids called, I would take the call.Often it was to say I was in a meeting and would call them back, but I took the call. My co-workers were not amused. I didn't care--- because nothing, absolutely nothing that we were discussing was as important to me as taking the 30 seconds out of my meeting to reassure my kids know that they were the most important thing in my life.

As far as the new programs are concerned, they are designed to help women fill in the gaps in their resumes.

...research suggests that many women who take a break from their professional lives to raise children are interested in returning. A survey of 2,443 women by the Center for Work-Life Policy, a New York nonprofit focused on work-family issues, showed that 93% of highly qualified women who are out of the work force want to resume their careers. It also showed that only 74% manage to do so. Part of the problem is that rapid changes in many fields -- from securities laws to accounting regulations to technology -- have meant that women who take even a few years off can fall behind.

Earlier this year the WSJ ran an article about corporations that are trying to woo back those moms who said, "Thanks but no thanks, I want to raise my kids."

In a study of 13,838 employees, Watson Wyatt, Arlington, Va., found women ages 25 to 40 making over $75,000 a year were nearly 20% more likely to leave their jobs than men. Female turnover was 11.4% a year, compared with 9.6% for men. But research also shows these women seek to return to the work force fairly quickly, as long as they have a workable and appealing setup. A survey of 2,443 women and 653 men, co-authored by Sylvia Ann Hewlett of the Center for Work-Life Policy, found women who take career breaks are only out of the work force for 2.2 years, on average. And only 5% of mothers who return even want to go back to their former employers; instead, they seek flexibility at smaller firms or by starting their own businesses. Big companies are trying to win these women back by addressing the barriers to re-entry -- offering flexible schedules and helping women bring out-of-date skills up to snuff and revive their neglected professional networks. Such efforts are often referred to as "on-ramping" because they create a path back into the workplace.

Is it fair to employers when you take time out to referree a fight over the video game controls?

Should co-workers be more understanding?

Should moms do a better job of setting boundaries?

How do you know what boundaries to set?

It's been nearly 10 years since I left Rapp Collins. My daughter is now 17. In the morning she'll ask if I'm going to be in a meeting when school is over. If I answer yes, she now asks if I can take a call  during the meeting. If I say yes, she'll call just to say hi. If the answer is no, shes sends me a txt message.

If this bothers my clients, no one has ever said anything. And I've asked.  For whatever reason, when you are a consultant and tell a client you may be getting a call from your daughter  it doesn't set them in quite the same tailspin as it does co-workers.

Image Credit: Flickr member margievz

This is cross-posted at Blogher.

Is J.Y.N trying to get dooced?

This is cross-posted at Blogher.

 I worry. Unless, of course, J.Y.N's intent is to get dooced--then I would say she's getting some jollies and entertaining a lot of us on the way down. Since April, J.Y.N aka Jayne Smith aka Pagan Girl has been sharing what life is like on the inside. It will make you laugh in that painful I would cry if it wasn't so funny kind of way. Be sure to read the section called "Why my job is a suckfest". The target here is a woman she calls Roz- The Corporate Witch. J.Y.N has a scrolling list of messages that ROZ sends her about the errors of her way.

6:52 AM:  I also received no report that John would not physically be in the building. As you are aware, it is corporate policy for all officers to apprise their immediate managers when they are absent from their desk and for what reason. This I need the DAY BEFORE it occurs by the way- which would have been yesterday… in case you didn’t know. – Roz       Update From Roz: April 15, 2006: Uh FYI - Dr. Martin AirWare Flyers are NOT corporate dress code policy. – Roz       Update From Roz: April 16, 2006: FYI - We do not clean our managers office with essential oils. Please use approved cleaning materials henceforth. – Roz       Update From Roz: April 17, 2006: TUPAC SHAKUR IS NOT APPROPRIATE LISTENING MUSIC!!! Regardless that you listen on your own headset, the fact remains that should your headset disengage from your pc it would be an EMBARRASSMENT to the entire department. Take note. - Roz       Update From Roz: April 18, 2006: In case you were unaware, casual business attire means you still NEED TO WEAR APPROPRIATE SHOES. Bongo "happy mutant" boots DO NOT fall into this category. - Roz

       J.Y.N has recently added The Daily Dish a section of the blog where she is encouraging others to share their stories. Anonymous said...

   Hello Jyn-     I happened over here and I would like to say KUDOS for filling a void in the blogging community. While there is a great deal of information on "how to be executive" and fit in to such environs- there is NOTHING out there on the reality of "living in" the executive world - day in an out. I appreciate your candor! While it is clear you have only just starting developing this topic, I would encourage you to continue as I would bet there are many others (particularly women) that would be able to relate to your boss and his hilarious behavior! Best -     Gina

So why did J.Y.N decide to create a blog that she has to know could get her fired?

I recall when another director saw me attempting to hide my tears in the ladies room one day. She pulled me aside and said, "Look- from one woman to another, I want to tell you that you are amidst one of the most conservative corporate environments here, it IS run by men, it has been that way for over 50 years, and will probably not change. All women here have realized this "truth". If you want to keep your job, you will need to learn to accept this because it probably won't change. You came in like a fresh breeze on a gloomy day with enthusiasm, and a smile for all.... Everyone has seen this and we all have been waiting for the day when the disenchantment would set in, because we all have been there. Take my advice, learn to accept or find a new job. That is how it is here."

What I find so absolutely compelling about ths blog is that if J.Y.N didn't share in her profile that all of the posts are the truth, I would have to believe that they were a portfolio building device for an interview for a job writing sitcoms. The question is--how long can J.Y.N share Roz's emails and the day to day stuff in her office without being found out? Of course if she is dooced, she will get the satisfaction of being able to "reveal" the true identity of her boss John Snape and the intriquing ROZ. It might not be a paycheck but it will probably make her smile.

Are Health Care Benefits an endangered species?

If all things were equal--given the choice--most people would opt to work for themselves rather than for a corporation.

But all things are not equal. One of the huge reasons people opt in to corporate life are THE BENEFITS.

That motivation may be changing as more companies pull back on their health care benefits. According to Think Progress health care premiums  have skyrocketed  73%  in health care premiums since 2000.

   

"Premiums have risen by 73 percent since 2000. And businesses now spend nearly $450 billion on health benefits – not counting their Medicare payroll taxes. In a few short years, the health costs of Fortune 500 companies will exceed their profits. Despite these costs, the U.S. ranks 34th on life expectancy, 41st in infant mortality, and 37th, according to the World Health Organization, in health system performance."

As the Wall Street Journal and Minneapolis Star Tribune recently reported, Target Corporation has notified their employees that it may be eliminating its traditional health care plans.

   

"Target spokeswoman Lena Michaud said the retailer told its workers that its traditional health plan might be discontinued. But she said a final decision hasn't been made.

"This is a long-term strategy that will help both us and team members [employees] save money by encouraging them to take greater control over their health-care spending," Ms. Michaud said.    

"Under its new plans, Target annually will contribute $400 for individual workers and $800 for families. Monthly premiums will drop to as little as $20 for individuals. But deductibles will be much higher than Target's traditional plan: as high as $5,000.

The other alternative is the health-reimbursement account, which is similar to health-savings accounts, except the employer funds them and they aren't portable. The premiums paid by the workers are higher than the health-savings accounts, but the deductibles are lower.

"These plans are great if you are healthy, wealthy or young," says Bernie Hesse, a Minnesota-based organizer for the United Food and Commercial Workers, which is trying to organize Target."

Critics say this approach to health care benefits reduces preventative care and creates an environment where people don't seek medical attention until they are really sick."

To get a hint of what their thinking may be, you just have to review a  not so secret memo written in 2005  to Wal-Mart's Board of Directors by Susan Chambers, who was then Wal-Mart's Executive Vice President for Benefits( she has since been promoted) .The contents of that memo were widely reported in the New York Times and major media like CNN

   

"Chambers' memo proposes a number of ways that Wal-Mart could hold down spending on health care and benefits while minimizing damage to its reputation. Those proposals include nine "limited-risk initiatives" and five "bold steps."

   

The initiatives include increasing the number of part-time employees while making it easier for part-time employees to become eligible for benefits and offering a variety of benefits from which employees may choose.

   

Chambers also mentioned a plan already under way to add health clinics to stores.

   

The "bold steps" called for Wal-Mart to institute "consumer-driven health plans" with Health Savings Accounts that would go toward paying higher deductibles; restructuring the retirement program to put more money into health care and less into retirement; redesigning employment at Wal-Mart "to attract a healthier, more productive workforce"; making strategic investments to counter criticism; and improving communications about the company's benefits offering."

The Wal-MartWatch has excerpts from the memo including this one on the potential risk employees are putting themselves in for participating in Wal-Mart's Family Plan.

   

ON BANKRUPTCY … "On the Family plan, an Associate must spend between 74 and 150 percent of household income on healthcare (approximately $13,000 to $27,000) before insurance takes over completely. Though few associates reach this level of spending, those who do almost certainly end up declaring personal bankruptcy" [Wal-Mart Secret Memo, Page 6, http://walmartwatch.com/memo; New York Times, 10/26/05]

The decision to change their health care benefit is not just a benefits issues..  For Target, going from a company with a reputation for offering "some of the best benefits" available to a company whose health care program looks eerily  similar to Wal-Mart's is a huge business risk.

Forget the bad PR --what will it do to recruiting and retention?Long-term will  the savings on health care costs be worth the potential brain drain that could occur because of their leaner than lean health benefits?

 

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