Everything About Business Except The Bottom Line: FunnyBusiness

Here's to TRBN aka Terminal Rule by boomer narcissists

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Think of it as the business version of visiting  a psychic. This issue of Fast Company takes a look of what business will look like in 2016. Of course, it won't necessarily look like this, but it's fun to read what the prognosticators think that it will look like .

It's kind of the reading version of the old World Fairs where you would go from pavilion to pavilion and see what kinds of wonderful things technology was going to offer up in the next generation. Think The New York's World Fair circa 1964 where they were predicting we would have television phones.

So  okay it took over 40 years to make that happen. It has happened. That's how I see this issue of the magazine. It's just good, clean business fun.

.As a baby boomer I particularly was fascinated by the article on demographicswhich says we are heading to an "hour glass society" with the baby boomers on top, the echo boomers (that would be my kids) on the bottom and the gen X'ers squeezed in the middle.

The hourglass society will bring an avalanche of new social challenges, cultural norms, and business opportunities. With a huge increase in the number of older consumers, entirely new entertainment, culture, and news markets will open up--film, television, books, and Internet sites pitched more to the Matlock set than to the Eminem crowd. Also, older people tend to vote more frequently, and they will wield significant political clout: We could see a multidecade "boomerocracy" or, as one gen-Xer put it archly over cocktails, "TRBN: terminal rule by boomer narcissists

There are some other wonderful nuggets in the article :

"...the number of women buying high-end consumer electronics like plasma televisions is growing faster than the number of men (a reality yet to sink in at the big-box stores).

the percentage of single female home buyers in the past 20 years has nearly doubled, placing them second only to married couples"

One of their predictions are six professions that will be extinct.

Click here to see it in a slide show.

Or, here is the list by way of  TomorrowToday

TV schedulers, A&R guys, Wall Street researchers, cool hunters. As punishment, now it’s our turn to ram stuff down your throats. Hope you like Bon Jovi!

Bloggers
Pay someone to write snarky comments? Do you think we’re getting paid for this?

Advertising creatives
Talented amateurs making ads for fun and posting them online seem to be better at your job than you are. Bonus: No more “whither the 30-second spot” whining.

Auto mechanics
As cars run on software, the grease monkey will need a makeover.

U.S. high-tech jobs
But software engineers can always get a job down at the garage.

Indian call-center operators
American customer service is rescued from oxymoron status as companies realize that being nice to the people with the money is the only way to win.

Now, I couldn't find  out why Fast Company sees these as D1-2K dinosaurs and I'm not particularly concerned that they think the job of blogging will evaporate because that must mean that they think blogging will become a job that actually pays .

Hey, If I can get a five year run of getting paid for blogging I'd be a very happy boomer.

Smack Dab In The Middle With You

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NOTE: Spellchecker fritzed, again.

Northwest Airlines is offering a new promotion. It's called Coach Choice. On Tuesday, the promotion earned the airlines MSNBC's Countdown's  not -so - coveted "Worse Person In The World Award."

I love Keith Olbermann but perhaps he should make sure his producers do a bit more research before they hand out their awards  See, the award is a bit premature. Coach Choice is a  "pilot" program--affecting  just 5% of seats. On their website Northwest says they are simply "testing' the concept.

One can assume if it succeeds, then we'll see more widespread upcharges for "preferred seating." And, I would imagine in the rollout , it will impact more than 5% of the seats.

When that happens, if the producers think the concept is so awful, let them bestow any award they want.

But to listen to the report, you'd think starting today, if you want to get an aisle, exit or window seat you need to start coughing up the extra $15 per tushy touch.

If that were true, would that really be so awful? I guess it's how you see the situation.

Do you see an old lady or a young lady? One picture. Two very different images. Depending on how you look at the situation.

Having once enjoyed the perks of a silver status frequent flyer, I continually pout that I no longer get to board the plane early, that I don't get those first class upgrades, and I no longer earn extra points for every flight I take.

Having sat smack dab in the middle between two super-sized travelers that literally made it impossible or me to sit back in my seat, I say Hooray for Coach Choice!

That was a very long and very full flight from L.A. to Minneapolis. Feeling very abused at that time ,and getting a back spasm from having to sit at a 45 degree angle for the entire flight, I said something to the flight attendant that I deserved financial compensation because I physically could not use my seat because my supersized companions were invading my 'shoulder area'(that I contended , I paid for).

She was sympathetic but said, there was nothing they could do.  I  did write to customer service but never heard back.

Everyone who flies knows all seats are not created equal.  There's that awful seat in the back of  some flights that prevent you from moving your seat back at all. And there's the dreaded middle seat.

If you are not flying on an expenses account and you did not get the rock bottom price, can you honestly say that it didn't cross your mind that you should pay less for the inconvenience of sitting in the middle?

Personally, I love the idea. of Coach Choice. If I want an aisle, at least i can get it if I'm willing to pay the $15 ( and in most cases, I will pay)  Is it really any different than choosing seats in a theater? There's all sorts of tiered pricing  for concerts. Is this any that different?

If I'm in frugal mode, I can pay less and sit in the middle or gamble that I pay less for the middle seat and it won't be a full flight.Then, I can move over to the window or aisle. In that situationI'll feel really good about my decision not to pay extra for something I got for free ( sort of).

Anyway, Northwest Airlines has a lot more to worry about than consumer reaction to their Coach Choice promotion. Here is the headline in this morning's Star Tribune.

"U.S. investigators target NWA pension fund". Turns out the feds want to know how the fund was underfunded by $5.8 billion.

So do the math. How many seats selling at an extra $15 does it take to make $5.8 billion.

Oh and about that optical illusion. To find out how to see the Old Lady, just click here. However, even with the clues, I have a hard time seeing her.Which is not so different from the various perspectives on Northwest's latest move.

Writely, Writely,Writely,Writely, Live is but a Dream

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This is a crosspost from Blogher

Depending which view you ascribe to, last week's announcement that Google had purchased six month old Writely</a>  is either Microsoft's Pearl Harbor  OR NOT.

Or in other words, is the beginning of the end of Office Products? Will users adopt Writely with the enthusiasm and speed  of social media like Flickr and You Tube? Does this represent a sea change of how we will do our jobs, or is it simply another sailboat on the lake?

Writely is, according to creators,

"a web-based, collaborative document editor, but it's also a service in its infancy. To us, it's the beginning of a whole new way of managing documents, projects and websites online."

The anti-microsoftists contend that this purchase is beginning of the end of Office.They see it as a victory for Web 2.0. The Microsoft Supporters say,not so fast--Microsoft's main business is from corporations and they are not so eager to have their confidential documents stored in an online space.

In her blog,Writely co-founder Claudia Carpenter talks about why they sold to Google.

Here are our "top 10" reasons why being part of Google is fantastic for Writely and the Writely team:

10. Writely is like a caterpillar that we hope to make into a beautiful butterfly at Google!
9. We love Google's philosophy and values -- especially "Focus on the user."
8. We're as passionate as Google is about respecting users' privacy.
7. Many of our users are already Google fans using other Google services.
6. Being at Google will help us do more great things faster.
5. Some people didn't feel comfortable trusting a tiny startup with their documents...and we're no longer a tiny startup.
4. We like lava lamps and they're pretty much standard decor at Google.
3. Three words: Free Googleplex lunches ;)
2. As fun as it's been to launch a popular, global, 24x7 Web service, it'll be nice to take a vacation once in a while!
...and the number one reason???
1. We'll be able to bring Writely to not just thousands but millions of users -- the more, the merrier :-)

You can read a complete review of Writely at Googlist.

True Confession: Until last week I had paid absolutely no attention to the online document processing market. And, I probably wouldn't know anything about it if my windows media player had not stopped operating and I learned(6 hrs with technical support over 3 days) that there is no way to uninstall or fix it.

So to humor myself, I decided to read some Microsoft hate posts to calm myself down.That's when I found Writely. I did sign up for their waiting list.

My question is ...will you use Writely? If you won't,why not?

It's my Weltschmerz and I'll Cry If I Want To

Just One Day after International Women's Day,this headline graced the pages of Gawker  "Sawyer Scratches At The Glass Ceiling." The gist of the story is that pregnant Elizabeth Vargas is out and childless Sawyer is in as anchor of the ABC News.

Hence my Weltschmerz. Thanks to  A. Word.A.Day for sending me just the right word when I need it. Between Schadenfreude and Weltzschmerz I'm feeling i need to take German 101.

Weltzschmerz, according to AWAD means:

World weariness; pessimism, apathy, or sadness felt at the difference between physical reality and the ideal state.

And, used in a sentence,"I hate being told to have a good time! I'll feel the weltschmerz if I want to."

I'm definitely feeling the weltzschmerz about a pregnant news anchor given the boot. Over at Corsair, Ron provides some back story.:

"are we about to see a catfight on the evening news?...This is sure to start a debate about career-path versus having children. Of course women can, and do, do both; but in the hypercompetitive -- and hyper-observed -- TV News fishbowl, we ought to be asking the question: Is it possible to get to the top of the network news food-chain AND have children, if you are a woman.

Merideth Vieira, then at "60 Minutes (and, coincidentally, Diane Sawyer's replacement)," also faced difficult times navigating maternity leave, day care and, most importantly, the infamously grueling schedule at CBSNews. Ultimately Vieira left, but not without painting a particularly damning portrait of Don Hewitt and Mike Wallace -- who were the proximate causes of her leaving -- as leathery old bastards intent on making a young mother's life miserable in the newsroom. Having babies, they seemed to be implying, is for sissies; CBS News should be priority-one.

When Lucille Ball announced she was "with child", television networks censored the word pregnant. And, it was a big deal that a pregnant woman was shown on TV. The network suits almost wet their pants in fear of viewer backlash.

Fast forward 50 years and it appears that the network powers that be at ABC haven't learned a thing.

The real issue isn't that Vargas is having another child and may have to take a six week pregnancy leave. She's already a parent and obviously is balancing her work-home life in a way that is acceptable at ABC.

The issue  for them is  her pregnancy and what pregnancy does to a women's body.Pregnant women aren't thin. The network suits believe that their viewers won't take a pregnant woman seriously ( you know the hormone thing). They believe this because they don't take a  pregnant woman seriously. Oh, and also there is the loss of the F#@%able factor- which is still a criteria for choosing many women in network news.

Several years ago a friend told a story about a pregnant executive who was in charge of new business development. The executive  was around 7 months pregnant. My friend's assignment was to do some undercover work for her boss to find out if the potential client would be 'uncomfortable' with a 7 month pregnant executive pitching the business.

My friend had to find out if the decision maker was married with kids and a variety of other variables to determine whether the pregnant executive was a 'high risk"

It seems that ABC News feels a pregnant Vargas is 'high risk" It's simply weltschmertz.

Kissy Face

When it comes to talking about work life, most bloggers opt to either avoid the topic or blog anonymously. Work culture bloggers  are not known for blogging naked. The risks of losing a job or not getting hired simply outweigh the desire to share it all.

Well maybe that's just an American phenomenon, because down under, Jules,a 29 -employee at some unknown firm regularly talks about  worklife, coworkers and taking mental health days . While she doesn't share where she works and doesn't give us her last name. She does tell all. Some of it is about being a 29 year old in Australia. And a lot of it has to do with work.

According to Jules who writes a blog called Dragon Girl, if you plan to do business with the folks in Melbourne, Australia, you better be prepared to pucker up.

"When the Melbourne people were leaving (all men), they did the one-cheek-kiss thing with myself and my other female colleague. I can only assume that this is one of those peculiar Melbourne things, because NO ONE in Brisbane does the greeting/farewell kiss with work colleagues/associates. I must admit, it freaks me out. Having this almost complete stranger in my personal space, kissing me.

And is it one kiss, two kisses, or three kisses? That always confuses me, and I don't know if I should be leaning in longer or if I should pull back."

In another post, Jules shared what a perfect Friday was like;

• Leave for work late, due to carpooling with work colleague, thereby missing all of peak hour traffic.
• Work Colleague's birthday, so we celebrate with coffee & cake for morning tea
• Whole office leaves for lunch at 1pm at nearby pub, where alcohol is consumed
• Present at the lunch is a colleague from Melbourne, who is perhaps the most drop dead gorgeous guy I have ever seen. Yum.
• Leave work at 4pm

And... I got to drive a colleague's car back to the office after lunch - one of the new Ford Territory 4WD

While most Americans might be too politically correct to admit they attended a drinking lunch and not only went back to work but DROVE to work...can you say .8? This does  not seem to phase Dragon Girl at all.

She also doesn't seem compelled to hide that she takes mental health days. Most people I know take mental health days but they would call in saying they were "Under the weather" and they certainly wouldn't share they spent the day going to a movie.

"Yesterday was one of THOSE days at work, when one of my co-workers continually pushed my buttons until I snapped. So today has been designated as a Mental Health Day, where I am going to stay at home and do things that I enjoy."

And she is not shy about ranting about other people who may know exactly who they are.

Can anyone explain what is with all the text message speak that is pervading normal correspondence? I got a work email from someone today that contained a whole series of text message speak abbreviations. Its almost as if they were saying “I am too lazy to be bothered typing out the whole word and so have used these annoying shortened versions of words instead.”

You know what? If you are too damn lazy to type out a proper message, then I am sure as hell not going to be bothered responding to your lazy email message either. If you want a response, then learn how to type a proper message!!

Getting back to the practice in Melbourne of playing kissy face at work. Here are some of the comments from Dragon Girl's readers

Natalie said...

Word around the camp fire is... Kissing on the lips "hello" is now common practice in Sydney - NOT going to happen in my social circle!

Miss V said...

We don't do the *kiss kiss* in the US. We shake hands.

And that about says it all.

Tracking Schadenfreude

In my post that I lovely called, "Notes From The Road - Seattle Day 1", I shared my observation that the term Schadenfreude has become  the 2006 vocabulary  media darling --much like the overused gravitas did in 2000 ( first used widely to explain why Dick Cheney was good for the republican ticket --he brought needed gravitas).

I first read the term in an editorial by Kathleen Parker where she basically spanked people who had turned to blogs for their news.

"Schadenfreude - pleasure in others' misfortunes - has become the new barbarity on an island called Blog. When someone trips, whether Dan Rather or Eason Jordan or Judith Miller, bloggers are the bloodthirsty masses slavering for a public flogging. Incivility is their weapon and humanity their victim. "

Intrigued, I decided to keep a watch out for schadenfreude. I've heard it said by the talking heads on cable TV and then today, there it was again. This time  in a column in the National Journal written by William Powers. He too was talking about blogs. This time responding to reports that the blog bubble has busted.

"The Chicago Tribune pounced on the blog bust in an editorial dripping with old-media schadenfreude: "You're forgiven if you cling to the conventional wisdom that blogging, like half-pipe snowboarding, enjoys an unrelievedly rich future. Forgiven, but maybe behind the curve."

So now I want to really start tracking schadenfreude. I'm more convinced then ever that this word is going to rival truthiness in the near future.

And so  I ask your help. If you see it printed in a newspaper, magazine or online,or if you hear media types using it during their talking heads, add it in the comment section.  I will continue to update the list, when I hear someone using schadenfreude to describe the attitude of a particular person, group or political party.

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Women with kids Need Not Apply

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Every time women point to the fact that their pay is lower then men ,or that maybe there really is a glass ceiling, there is often push back that "it's all in our minds"( Isn't it always?)

So I was particularly taken with Jori Des Jardins post on Blogher ,Why Women Don't Always Share Their Family Photos At Work. In this post she shares the very real experiences and fears of associates who are hesitant to tell their bosses they are pregnant.

Jori's post also  includes an excerpt from the Denver Post about a recent Cornell University Study that indicates women with kids are (a) less likely to get called for interviews and (b) when hired, earn less.

"In the study, The Motherhood Penalty, (Cornell University Professor Shelley) Correll sent 300 pairs of cover letters and resumes to advertised midlevel marketing positions in an undisclosed Northeastern city. Some of the cover letters mentioned a family, while others made no mention of children. Applicants who didn't mention a family were called in for an interview twice as frequently as those who did. The study found proof that not only are women with children less likely to get hired, their starting salaries are significantly less than similarly qualified fathers or women without children--an average of $11,000 less."

The article also has some advice to corporations interviewing applicants: don't bring up the children factor in an interview.

"not only is it bad form to ask about children during job negotiations, it is dangerous for the company. While not illegal, if a comment has been made during an interview and then a problem later arises, that comment could come back to haunt. "

A couple of weeks ago I was chatting with  Christine Louise Holbaum, an American mom,and freelance writer, blogger, PR Consultant   living in Germany.  She explained that since there was no daycare in Germany and school children all came home for lunch, it was virtually impossible for women with children to work outside the home.

At the time it seemed so antiquated and repressive.  Now, it seems a bit more honest. While I think the  Germany policy is ridiculous, I'm not sure its any more offensive than the situation we have here.

In your face prejudice -- the kind that women with children in Germany experience --is always easier to combat than the kind veiled in political correctness that allows women to think, " it's all in my mind."

Notes From The Road -Seattle Airport Friendly Shoes

It's like throwing a party and no one shows up. Airport Friendly Shoes should have become the next  TravelPro, instead they are a product without a market.

Alas and alack, airport friendly shoes have not gotten the traction they deserve, and they don't seem to be on anyone's radar screen. If wearing airport friendly shoes would guarantee that I wouldn't have to remove my shoes going through security, I'd buy a pair in a heart beat.

It's a pet peeve. I hate taking off my shoes to go through security. It's not terrible in the winter when I have socks, but when you have to go barefoot, it's disgusting. At least the airport  could supply foot wipes after they've made you walk on a floor that is obviously filthy.But, of course they don't.

Standing in line to go through security yesterday in Seattle,the gentlemen with the British accent was telling his companion that he had just been to a store where they had a section called, "airplane friendly shoes"-- the concept is that these shoes don't have the metal shanks in the sole  and can allow you to go through security without taking your shoes off.

I was making a mental note--go shoe shopping.

As the man was getting ready to disrobe, he was lamenting he had not purchased this item which held the promise of a hassle-free  excursion through the metal detectors.

As people are wont to do when standing in line, the gentlemen in front of the British couple held up his high tech red running shoes and said, " it doesn't matter, they still make you take your shoes off."

With that the red shoe guy bent his shoes, demonstrated that the bottoms were clear so you see right through them. He shook his head sadly again saying, ' you still have to take them off."

The airport friendly shoes are a product that should have become as successful as rolling suitcases: they solve a consumer problem, they save everyone time, aggravation, embarrassment, and hopefully they are incredibly comfortable..

However, airport friendly shoes seem to be grounded before they've had a chance to take off. In order to find their market, they have to deliver on their promise. And to do that, the security people have to allow people to decide for themselves whether they want ot risk having their shoes set off the alarms.

They allow me to decide whether to keep on my jewelry --sometimes I set off the alarm and have to go through the system twice, sometimes I don't-- so why not reward folks who go through the effort of purchasing metal-free shoes and allow them to keep their shoes on?

If that policy existed, I would almost guarantee that we would see sales of the airport friendly shoes soar.

Notes from the Road Seattle Day 3 - ALA CARTE

For the past five days the Watertown Hotel in the University district of Seattle, has been my office away from my office. It's not the first time I've stayed here. It won't be my last.

And, I'll come back even though they don't offer wireless in their rooms ( usually a deal-breaker for me). Yes, they offer free high speed via an Ethernet connection, but not having wireless means I am tied to the desk when I would rather have the flexibility to sit on the couch, chair, or work in bed.

Still the pluses of this hotel outweigh this huge negative.  When the Watertown says its unique, it delivers -- and that is something that as a business traveler,I not only appreciate, I want to support and reward.

Of all their interesting amenities, the most intriguing are the guest carts.Absolutely free, you can request a 'themed cart' for your use during your stay.I'd recommend requesting one when you make your reservations but you can also request at cart after you arrive. Beware, they are popular.

So what can you get? There's the Art Cart which includes colored pencils, an intro to Art book, glue stick, calligraphy set, souvenir beret and more.

A Baby on Board Cart which includes a rubber ducky, socket protectors, tear-free shampoo and diaper bags.

The Games Cart which includes a deck of cards, board games like cranium, Yahtzee, trivial pursuit , Scrabble and Monopoly.

The Library Cart . As it is billed,
" We'll give you an assortment of 20 books or so. If you start one that you don't finish, just trade a book that you've already read, and well consider it all square!! "

The Movie Cart -- complete with a 20' flat screen TV and DVD Player. you can bring your own movie but of course the front desk as a collection.

There's a grumpy cart, a spa cart, a relaxation cart and a party cart that offers up a bartending book, CD player, Various CDs, corkscrew, a jar of olives, a jar of onions , toothpicks and beverage napkins.

While I didn't get a cart this trip, I have carted before and they are absolutely wonderful.

Of course its not the carts themselves that has captured my imagination, it's the fact that the hotel has these carts. They are just a little thing --but its a huge thing that sets this hotel apart, and allows it to say with authenticity that it is a unique urban hotel.( Did I mention that it is  also reasonably priced?)

In  a business sector where homogenization seems to reign--can you really tell the difference  when you stay  at a Hampton Inn or a Courtyard by Marriott ? ( other then  the points you earn for a free stay)-- it is absolutely refreshing to stay some place that feels different.

Sometimes earning reward points is not enough of a motivation. Sometimes supporting a business that wants to break through the clutter is reason enough. The free wine tasting, fitness center and microwave in the room doesn't hurt either.

Now, if they would just get that wireless cart