You've just won a grant for $25,000

The voice on the phone introduced himself as Sam Smith. Sam, with a heavy New Delhi accent, was calling to inform me that I was eligible to receive a $25,000 grant from the United States Government.

"Really," I said,thinking the call was so outlandish that I'd have some fun with it," the United States government is just going to randomly send me $25,000?"

"That's right,Elana," explained Sam."Do you want the money?"

"Hey Sam," I said, " as long as you don't ask for my checking account number I'll listen to what you have to say, simultaneously opening up a document to take notes.

"That's right, Elana," Sam continued, " Now how will you be using the money, for school, for business or to pay bills?"

"Why do you need to know how I'm going to use the money?"

Sam continued,  " If you don't want the money you can select a trip to Canada, a new car and a 29 inch TV."

"So," I asked, " I can either take the cash or the trip, the car, and the 29 inch TV?

"That's right."

"I thought you said I had been selected for a grant?"

"You've also won a lottery."

"I've won a grant and a lottery?" I knew that my fortune cookie on Thursday said my luck had changed but I didn't take the message  that seriously.

At this point I asked for Sam to let me speak to his supervisor.

Brad Hunter came on the phone.

"Is that Brad or Tab?" I asked.

Brad explained it was Brad. He,of course, was too young to know who Tab Hunter was .

"So what was your name before it was Brad?" I asked

To my surprise he told me.

Brad assured me I had really been selected for this grant and that his company, The United States Grant Program was regulated by the FTC.

Then he said, " we are prepared to transfer the money to your checking account."

"Brad," I said, " I prefer a check."

"We need to transfer the money," Perhaps I was reading something into his voice but I thought I heard a hint of desperation.

"Here's the deal. You will get my bank account number  over my dead body."

Call it a cultural chasm. From Brad Hunter's reaction, mentioning my dead body was something people in Brad's hometown avoid doing.

He reprimanded me. I had offended and insulted him.

I apologized. He was very upset.

He wanted to tell me about my lottery wins. The trip was to Toronto, the car was a Rolls Royce and I just assumed I had won a Plasma TV.

He asked who I would be taking to Toronto.

"Why do you want to know that?"

"I want you to take me," said Brad.

"Brad,do you have any idea how old I am."

Brad of course did know. He knew a lot about me.

"I do not want to go as your boyfriend or lover but as your son. You seem like a nice person."

At this point, I was completely baffled so I said what I was feeling.

"Brad, you seem like a very nice guy. Please quit this job immediately. What you are doing is trying to steal from innocent people. This is a very bad job. You need to walk out and get a new job."

Brad asked me to hold for a minute and then asked me to repeat what I had just said. I was assuming he was asking Sam Smith, Chip Martin and Paul Jones to listen to my message.

I repeated my warning.Then I hung up.

I would love to think that my impassioned plea convinced Brad Hunter to quit. Somehow I doubt it.