Everything About Business Except The Bottom Line: FunnyBusiness

1235 Points

It's now 9:11 p.m. I am finished playing loop for the time being.

After playing Loop for about an hour, I finally decided to read the help section. It was very helpful. After another hour I was able to raise my score to 1235---not bad considering I started the day at under 250 points. 

What I've learned:

I have an addictive personality.

I can play just as well with the touchpad as with the mouse

I still have another hour or two of work to do.

My eyes hurt, my finger is aching and I'm feeling loopy.

Black Knight versus Loop

After making fun of me for playing Loop, my daughter Berit tried the game. She didn't score that much higher than I did for a first try. I felt vindicated.

She then asked if I would like to try her favorite game ---  The Black Knight . It's a game where you are a medieval tax collector and get to use all sorts of things to smash everything and every one that crosses your path.

Didn't make it past level one on my first try. Played again after a discouraging conversation about getting a repair person to come out and look at my washing machine. Customer Service indicated that their first available was next Tuesday.

I reminded them that this would be a "return" call on a problem that was not corrected on the last visit. After a 15 minute hold, she informed me they could squeeze me in next Monday.

This time I got to level two on Black Knight.  But, my score dropped  to 965 on Loop...Maybe it's not such a good idea to mix computer games.

1005 points

It's now 10:10 AM. I have started playing Loop with my mouse instead of the touchpad on the laptop. Makes a big difference. Earned 1005. Feeling like I can match Catra 1955 by this evening.

My daughter Berit walked into my office and asked why I like playing this game. Her response. Weird.

Loopty Loop

Scooted over to my friend Nancy White's blog to see what she's been  talking about lately and was thrilled to find this intriguing post called Work Avoidance? Loop, a Shockwave game.

While most people may dismiss this as child's play, this incredibly intriguing game is more than a simple creature capture game! Part puzzle, part fantasy, it's pure addiction! The butterflies are everywhere!" And people wonder why I don't get around to answering all my email!

Here's the link to the game.

On my first try I got to chapter 5. Just earned 230 points.  To put that in perspective Catra1955 scored 1,385 points.

Hope to increase my skill level significantly by the end of the day. Besides a lovely lunch meeting, I am hunkered down on a writing assignment all day, and anticipating that Loop will play a big role in this writing assignment.

On a serious note, the game requires that you break some Pavlovian habits like clicking.

It has visuals that you intuitively "click on" to get to the next level,  but clicking won't get you there. In this game, getting to the next level requires drawing a loop, not a click.

A great reminder  today to avoid assumptions, try new things and think outside of the loop. 

Have fun.

Where's Your Tango Face?

Year's ago, as I was plotting my escape from a miserable job, I downloaded a 10 second sample of Richie Haven's Freedom. Whenever I became distraught, I would listen to those 10 seconds. It helped me focus on my goal.

While I don't have a job that I want to  escape anymore, there are days that I need a little inspiration. I found it last night at Mad Hot Ballroom.  This is a documentary that ever leader needs to see. It reminds you that leadership does change lives. The best part, you'll be smiling the whole time.

This from jotix 100

What comes across in the documentary is the tenacity in which the teachers keep these children involved as they are exposed to another world many of them don't even know exists. The teachers one sees in the film are clearly people that ought to be commended for motivating children that otherwise would probably be in the streets hanging out and getting in trouble.

Yomaira Reynoso and Allison Sheniak are seen openly crying when describing what they are trying to give these youngsters. It shows their devotion to the children that comes from their hearts. It's a rare thing to find men and women whose lives are given to the cause of shaping these youngsters under their care. The other teachers also have to be singled out for their dedication, especially Rodney Lopez and Alex Tchassov.

I thought about Max, a seasoned educator who once told me her kids are her life, and Tyler, a former Vice President of a major corporation, who is now putting in time this summer as a student teacher with nearly 40 kids in his class. I thought about how glad I am that they are doing their jobs and teaching kids  life's lessons including  why sometimes it's important to put on your tango face.

Note: MAX and TYLER are pseudonyms .They are real teachers ( okay Tyler is technically a student teacher, but he's signed his contract for September)

Mirror, Mirror On the wall...

News Flash. The better looking you are, the more money you are going to earn... sort of. CNN.com recently ran an article  with the headline, Do Pretty People Earn More? .

The first time I read the article I missed the all important subhead, "Research, reality can be at odds over the ugly truth".

Instead of seeing that subhead which should have alerted me that there would be a Mary Poppins ending to this otherwise depressing story, my eyes immediately went to the lead paragraph, all in bold:

"Studies show attractive students get more attention and higher evaluations from their teachers, good-looking patients get more personalized care from their doctors, and handsome criminals receive lighter sentences than less attractive convicts. But how much do looks matter at work?"

The article goes on to cite some recent university research which says,

"The ugly truth is that plain people earn 5 percent to 10 percent less than people of average looks, who in turn earn 3 percent to 8 percent less than those deemed good-looking."

Pouring on more bad news, depending on how you feel about the image that looks back at you in the mirror, the pay gap is  portrayed as more severe for guys. I'm not so sure.

The article says,"unattractive  men earn 15 percent less than those deemed attractive, while plain women earn 11 percent less than their prettier counterparts."

Does this mean it's tougher to be a Plain Joe than a Plain Jane? Not to me. Those statistics remind me of tax brackets. 15% of a $20,000 a year job hurts a lot more than 15% of $100,000.

Here's the problem. How does one define attractive or pretty? Do the definitions change depending on the region of the country? What role does age play in how we view beauty?

Does beauty work on a Bell Curve? I want to know how big these categories are. What percentage of people are considered good-looking or attractive? More important, what percentage of the population is considered homely?

"Attractive" is a melba toast term. Don't you have to be really butt ugly to not fit into the attractive category?

The article goes on to cite study after study that shows height and weight are also factors in one's paycheck.

And the conclusion? Here comes the Marry Poppins part of the article.

Don't despair, Bill Gates is 5'9", Jack Welch 5'8" and Ross Perot 5'7".

If that doesn't make you feel oh so much better, the article gives you a teaspoon of sugar worth of advice on how to carry yourself so you'll appear more attractive.

That's right boys and girls, the article quotes "hiring managers" that say confidence is what makes a person attractive. (What a relief, I can control my destiny! Sure, I may not win a beauty pagent but I can act confident)

The article then quotes Gordon Wainwright, author of "Teach Yourself Body Language." who says the way to compensate for a lack of good looks is to "maintain eye contact, act upbeat, dress well and listen well."

Let me get this right.You're earning less money because you're not  attractive, but you've got to spend more money on clothing to compensate. That cheers me up.

But my favorite part of this article is the medicine that's recommending for all of us who are not fortunate to be "lookers". Here's what Wainwright says will make everything all better:

"Stand up straight, tuck in your stomach and smile at people."

Bite me.

Monday Morning Viewing

Feeling a need to slide into your week slowly? I know I am. Here's just the thing. Take a couple of minutes -- you'll want to revisit this over and over again-- and watch Wesley Thomas Meyer's  More-Inc It's just the thing to watch after you've cleaned out your email box of 25 spam emails, realized that you are double-booked for two critical meetings this morning, and that half your team is on vacation. A little bit about Mr. Meyer.

Wesley Thomas Meyer is a social-political artist whose work focuses on themes of the loss of identity with in capitalist cultures and the use of indeterminance in quasi-realistic simulations. Recent work includes More-Inc. which has been featured by New Radio's Turbulence.org web site, the Museum of Contemporary Art of Barcelona, and the Sun Dance Online Film Festival. Additional works are found on doglatin.org. Meyer is twenty-four and holds a BFA from the University of New Mexico. More-Inc. came to my attention from a German reader, who shared the link in his comments to one of my posts.  Thank you! You're right. I really did enjoy it.  My favorite is the bathroom scene. I love this scene. Here's to a great week.

Pajama Day

It's SOAR month at Rebecca's company.That's an acronym for supportive-ongoing-achievement-recognition. It's an action -packed month designed to recognize everyone's hard work.

It's also supposed to be lots of FUN! Fun at Rebecca's company includes ping pong tournaments, bingo, egg toss, karaoke, dunk tank and tricycle races.

And, if being dunked in a dunk tank or participating in an egg toss is not enough to make you love love love your job, there's always Dress Up Day.

Rebecca sent me an email .

"...every Friday during July is "Dress Up Day." I assumed dress up day meant to wear company-logo apparel.

WRONG! Tomorrow's dress up theme is..... get ready for this one.... PAJAMA DAY!!!!

As it's described in the SOAR activity booklet, "let's relax and stay in our PJ's all day. Please make sure they are work appropriate."

It really is a frightening thing that they have to tell us to make them "work appropriate." I'm sure someone will come in here wearing a Victoria's Secret nightie.

Rebecca invited me to stop by today and take a peek for myself. I  think I'll have to do that.

While I know that Rebecca isn't enjoying the idea of going to work today, I love visualizing those 1,500 folks walking around as if the were characters in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

Pajama Day is a cute idea if you are in kindergarten.And, if it's the middle of the winter when you can wear nice flannel pajamas. But folks, it's JULY! There are no work appropiate PJ's for July.

Besides that, work isn't supposed to be a place to relax. That's why they call it work.

If they really wanted people to relax today --give them an unexpected day off.

NOTE: Rebecca is not her real name for obvious reasons.

Give me Andy Rooney's Desk anyday

Each week on 60 Minutes, Andy Rooney delivers his weekly essay sitting at a very cluttered desk. Okay, it's more than cluttered. It's utter havoc.

I find it very comforting.

Several years ago, someone did a story on 60 Minutes and gave a guided tour of the correspondents' offices. They all looked like the set for Andy Rooney's essays. I smiled. It was, to excuse the expression, so validating.

Back in the day when my boss was the CFO of the firm, he was not impressed with my desk. A member of the clean desk club, he once actually said to me, "Cluttered desks. Cluttered minds."

Now Forbes.com is running an insipid article called Desk for Success. It is so ridiculous that if I had a clean desk, I'd be inclined to clutter it up in defiance.

"A cluttered desk covered with inappropriate knickknacks and photos can be your downfall. Like going on a date, first impressions at the office are often lasting," says Deborah Wiener, an interior designer and owner of Designing Solutions in Silver Spring, MD. "We also make quick judgments about work relationships. You want your desk to say: 'I mean business and I'm ready to move up'."

It gets better--or worse depending on your mindset. So, here's some of the advice that Forbes is handing out for folks who want a Desk for Success.

1. "You can burnish your image by posting news clippings about industry trends or big names in your field in your cubicle or on your office wall"

Burnish? Who the hell uses that word? In case it's not part of your vocabulary it means, among other things, to make shiny or lustrous.

2. As an alternative to "burnishing" news clippings, the article goes on to suggest that if your company does business overseas, a good way to emphasize the scope and size of the business is to display large photos of the office in England, Germany, Japan or China and landmarks from that country .

3. "Photos defining your company's product or service can highlight your desk." The article gives an example here saying if you are a caterer, you could have pictures of "fancy spreads " you've done for various events.

4. Forget that screensaver of waterfalls, dolphins, your beloved pet, flowers blooming or Fourth of July fireworks. In Desk for Success, your screensaver should display your company logo, or mission statement or relate to the type of work you do.

You wouldn't want to display any of your own personality -- is the message if they really knew you they wouldn't like you?

5. Like having photos of your family displayed on your desk? Not such a good idea if you're want to tell people you mean business. Desk for Success says it's fine to keep a small photo album of family shots tucked in a desk drawer to share with co-workers.

You know the statistics. Women with children are less likely to advance in corporations

6. Want some extra attention? According to the Forbes article, a desk lamp is a good way to make your work space stand out in a large room filed with cubicles or a wall lined with offices

The article doesn't specify the type of lamp. Good guess: go traditional.

But my favorite piece of advice isn't about the desk at all. It's about how you should show up to staff meetings.

"... Wiener suggests showing up with a portfolio and a metal pen to underscore your seriousness and attentiveness. Such a pen will cost a little more than a fistful of throwaway plastic ballpoint pens, but it's still cheap enough that losing it won't be a tragedy. Remember: Brushed brass always beats brightly colored plastic. "

Who wrote this junk and what editor approved it?  File it under the category "Are Ya Jokin' Me?" Or better yet, "Forbes, you actually paid for this dribble?"

 

 

 

A Day in the life

5:30 a.m. Begin writing post for blog. Having some technical difficulties. Spellcheck box isn’t working. Always a bad sign. Attempts to save the document fail.

7:30 a.m. Finally get the post to post. See it’s a double post. Eliminate the duplicate.

8:00 a m. No internet access.Unplug modem. wait 10 seconds. Reboot. Repeat three times.

8:15 a.m.Call Roadrunner. Roadrunner service rep is stumped. Bumps me up to second tier support. Telephone promotion message goes through three complete loops while I'm on hold. Hear about pay express and an offer for free DVR service for a month.

8:45 a.m."Hello there. I'm Grant. I understand you're having difficulty connecting to the internet." Grant has me unplug the modem for one minute. I'm connected!

9:00 a.m. Microsoft Office shuts down. No explanation. No message. Reboot.

9:05 a.m. Every time I try to reopen an important email that I had flagged for follow-up, I get one of two messages: runtime error or you're out of memory. Reboot..Same messages.Copy of email on roadrunner email server able to retrieve.

9:15 a.m. Attempt to open a word document to finish editing a story for Chicago Tribune. Get another Error message saying word has insufficient memory.Pop-up message asks, "Do you want ot save as a rescued doc? (What do you think?)

9:17 a.m. Try to reopen rescued document. Microsoft says there is a font problem

9:20 a.m. Reboot computer.

9:25 a.m. Document opens as if it were born to open on command.

10:30 a.m. Accountant calls. Her internet service is down. Informs me the documents I requested are only partially available. We need some material from the Secretary of State's Office but it's closed because of a government shutdown in Minnesota because of a budget impass

10:45 a.m. My daughter Berit calls and tells me the red brake light is on with the message "take your car in for service immediately."

11:15 a.m. Computer message pops on screen saying my PC is critically infected.Choose to ignore it.

11:30 a.m. Check the mail. The check's not there. Decide to run some errands

1:00 p.m. Return to work and actually get some work done.

3:00 p.m. Leave for an appointment (that's code for going to the hair salon) Notice my Blackberry is on low battery. Forgot to bring regular cell phone.

5:15 p.m. Despite recharging Blackberry battery, it's locked. The message "Your Battery is drained. Blackberry is shutting down." will not go away. Take out the battery. Wait 10 seconds. Still locked. Repeat three times.

5:20 p.m. Call Verizon Mobile Office. Messages says it's a 16 minute wait.

5:45 p.m. LaDonna answers the phone. I mention I used to work with a woman named LaDonna. I resist the urge to mention that our names rhyme. LaDonna asks a series of diagnostic questions and then says let's take the battery out for a minute. Damn, there's that minute again. It worked. 

7:00 p.m. Bring my laptop into my bedroom to settle down for an evening of make-up work to take care of stuff that didn't get done during the day.

8:00 p.m. My son Noah calls asking for the name of the criminal attorney I did some work for last year. Very long pregnant pause. Son assures it's not for him. He wasn't anywhere near the trouble. Unfortunately, it is for his good friends who are in a heap of trouble.

8:30 p.m. Start breathing again. Resume work.

10:00 p.m. Turn off computer. Turn on Jon Stewart. It’s a repeat, again. I want his schedule.