FunnyBusiness: Everything About Business Except The Bottom Line

Warning Labels May Soon Be Appearing On A Menu Near You

In the fight to get Americans to change their attitudes towards cigarette smoking one of the first steps was to get that pesky warning label on every pack of smokes.

That was 1965. It took quite a while  after that warning  label started appearing on each pack that attitudes towards cigarette smoking started changing.

Public Health officials are taking one from the anti-smoking playbook. There is a move in many states to have restaurants start including the caloric value of all of its items smack dab on the menu.

It's all part of the effort to try to deal with America's growing obesity problem.

No surprise, the restaurant industry isn't feeling the caloric menu  love.  Business Week has a great article on the looming trend.

From Hawaii to Massachusetts, more than a dozen state and local governments are considering putting calories front and center on menus. San Francisco will hold hearings this month, and a law passed last year in Seattle goes into effect Aug. 1. To stave off new laws and overturn existing ones, the industry is marshaling a range of tactics. Last year the New York State Restaurant Assn. challenged an earlier New York calorie-labeling law, retaining Arnold & Porter, longtime counsel to tobacco giant Philip Morris (MO). The result was a pyrrhic victory: A federal judge struck down the law in September, essentially because it applied to too few restaurants. The new law, which applies to chains with 10 or more outlets nationwide, fixes that.

So would you order that tuna melt if you knew it was over 2090 calories ?( According to Business Week that is how many calories are in a Quiznos tuna melt- YIKES!)  The restaurant industry doesn't think so. Their attitude is that we should be allowed to go to a restaurant and eat guilt free.

If that's the best argument they can come up with, then calories on a menu are a fait accompli.

Would I order that Tuna Melt if I knew it was 2090 calories? No  I wouldn't. I would prefer to never eat 2000 calories at any one meal except Thanksgiving..

But I might ask for a smaller size and maybe some fruit or vegetables on the side.

McVirus,McLaw Suit,McGadget, McSales

It feels like the vacuum cleaner phenomenon.That's when you need to buy a new vacuum cleaner, open up the paper( if you still get a hard copy of the paper)and voila..there is a vacuum cleaner sale. Now what you learn in an advertising class is that vacuum cleaner sale ad has probably been there for months but until you need the vacuum cleaner you never saw the ad before. That's how I feel about all the bizarre stuff I found about McDonalds this week. Some of it just happened last week, some a month ago..it was all new to me.

First, there's the contaminated MP3 player.

Under the category that you can't win for losing, McDonald's Japan has issued a recall of some 10,000 MP3 Players it gave away as part of a promotion. As reported in the Register

"Punters received the contaminated gift after purchasing a large drink form the fast-food chain in Japan and submitting a serial number contained on the beverage holder as part of a competition, sponsored by McDonalds and Coca-cola. Users who connected the McDonald's-branded MP3 player to their Windows PC were exposed to spyware code programmed to transmit their web passwords and other sensitive information to hackers. The cause of the accidental infection is unclear but past experience suggests a contaminated machine involved in loading content onto the players is the likely culprit."

Then there's the judge who reversed himself and said two teenage girls could sue McDonald's for making them fat because of misleading advertising. ABC's John Stossel is not amused about the case that is now entering its fourth year.

"Whatever happened to self-responsibility? Sure, McDonald's commercials put the best spin on its products. All advertisers do that. Individuals should exercise caution, and parents should teach their kids a little skepticism. It's not as if information about nutrition is hard to come by. Today we're constantly harangued about cutting calories, reducing fat, and exercising more. McDonald's competitors, such as Subway, provide lots of counter-information. You'd have to live in a cave not to know about this stuff.

Fast food doesn't have to make you fat. Soso Whaley of New Hampshire once ate only at McDonald's for a month. The result? Unlike the guy who did the "Super Size Me" documentary, Soso lost 10 pounds, and her cholesterol dropped 40 points. How? She didn't pig out. Low-carb dieters have lost weight at McDonald's by eating the burgers without the buns and skipping the fries."

Speaking of informing  customers  about nutrition, Customers in McDonald's Japan ( yes those same customers who got the infected MP3 players) can scan their food with a gadget that displays nutritional info on their cell phones.

Known as a QR Code, these printed codes look somewhat like a barcode and are scannable by many photo cellphones. All sorts of information can be packed into these little codes, from the website to find the amount of calories and fat in a Big Mac to a company’s contact information on a business card.

Meanwhile, despite all the turmoil, business has never been better.

After months or declining sales and despite a good deal of negative publicity, McDonald's announced that they hit a six year high in sales both in the US and abroad, with the best performances from stores in the UK. The company cites in increase in healthier menu items, including salads and less fattening kids' choices. At UK restaurants, the new options include deli sandwiches, free-range eggs, more fruit and beef that is only "from the forequarter or flank of a cow."

P.S. In case you missed this in May ( I did), McDonald's is also undergoing an extreme McMakeover which will include cozy couches, WiFi, plasma TVs and premium Coffee. Think of it as the Starbuckization of McDonald's.

"After 30 years without a major design overhaul, the 51-year-old fast-food giant is adopting a hip new look. The world's largest hamburger chain is redesigning its 30,000 eateries around the globe in a 21st century makeover of unprecedented scale.

The redesign is risky and has many franchisees up in arms over the high costs of a makeover. But company officials believe the overhaul is needed. McDonald's, whose restaurants are visited by more than 40 million people every day, has moved aggressively over the past three years to revamp its menu and attract a new breed of customer."

While customers may enjoy the change, the franchisees are less than enthused. It will cost them around $300,000 to make the change. This is not an optional change. The only way to stay part of the McDonald's family is to order that cozy couch.

Notes from the Road NYC: Is there a new, new math?

It's early. I'm in a lovely hotel room in NYC. It has a kitchen and a coffee maker-something that is a rarity in New York hotels.

So when did they change the definition of a cup? All this time I've been working under the misguided impression that there were 8 oz to a cup.

According to Krups, I'm wrong. A cup of coffee is 5 oz.

Has anyone ever seen a 5 oz coffee mug?
If you have one, please send a picture.

                                                                                                

McDonald's Vice President McBlogs about the Hummer

   McDonald's has a corporate social  responsibility blog. Now that the McHummer Promotion has ended, the vice president of McDonald's,Bob Langert, is talking about the controversial promotion.  The gist of the discussion is " It's just a toy."

"Our company, including my staff, is deeply committed to the whole scope of corporate responsibility issues, including environmental protection. So I polled my staff who have or had children. One of them said her children enjoy the little Hummer replicas as toys, just as many kids like toy trucks, regardless of make or model. She drives a MiniCooper, walks with her children to get groceries, bicycles with them on weekends, etc. Another said her grandchildren absolutely love the toy Hummers--that they're fun. Of course, there's nothing scientific about this poll, but I think it makes an important point. Looked at through children's eyes, the miniature Hummers are just toys, not vehicle recommendations or a source of consumer messages about natural resource conservation, greenhouse gas emissions, etc. Thanks for your comments. We welcome the dialogue."

Of course it's just a toy. So are these: 

I loved candy cigarettes when I was a kid.  It made me feel grown up. As it were ,I did develop a nicotine habit for about eight years. Should I blame the candy? Of course not. But to say that the playing with candy cigarettes didn't make me identify with the act of smoking is simply silly. It did.

Will having a Hummer promotion cause more people to go out and buy these gas guzzlers? Doubt it. And that's not the point either. The point is that 42 million kids will have a positive, wonderful experience with the McHummers. They are toys. And I'm assuming providing endless hours of fun for boys and girls across the country.

Meanwhile, GM is building the brand equity of Hummer as a "fun vehicle"and helping to create a shield from the bad publicity they get for being gas guzzlers.

GM and Hummer weren't targeting the kids with this promotion, they were targeting the parents.  The McHummer promotion is a great way to reduce the conversation around the fact that Hummers are gas guzzlers.

It's hard  for parents to have an anti-Hummer conversation with a kid when their holding a McHummer in their hand.

Just a scenario. Mom and Rocco are in the car. Rocco sees a real Hummer and says, "Cool." Now, depending on the mom  or dad, they might have used the opportunity to talk about environmental issues and why they think hybrids are really the "cool"car. Or they might have simply said, "yeah, they're cool but they are gas guzzlers."

Now same scenario only this time little  Rocco is playing with his McHummer.

Rocco loves his McHummer. Will  parents still say negative things about the Hummer in that situation?Or will they think, why bother his fun?

I think  the folks at GM are hoping the promotion stifles some of the negative conversation.

It's hard  for a parent to talk about environmental responsibility about a car when Rocco is playing with one in the back seat.

On the one hand adults know Hummers are bad for the environment. Many may want to teach their kids that Hummers are not cool. Not so easy to do when 'my little Rocco carries them around everywhere he goes-- even sleeps with them.'

As to McDonald's assertion that it's just a toy. Well, my beloved candy cigarettes are just candy,too, but I doubt you'd arrange to have those included in a Happy Meal.

to Matthew at Enviroblog for alerting me to McDonald's CSR blog.

This is cross-posted at Blogher

Speaking of Liquid Bans--India says NO to Coke and Pepsi

It was not a good day for Coke and Pepsi. A court in India denied their request to lift a ban on selling their beverage products. The products were banned last month  by the communist-ruled southern state of Kerala because high levels of pesticides have been found in the drinks.

 To defend itself Pepsi launched a two -prong media campaign. The blog, Satish and his thoughts is  not that impressed.

Pepsi has fired recently two shots in air for self-defense. The first one was an advertisement claiming that the tea Indians drink has 14.2 ppm residue of pesticide which is 28000 times higher than such residue in Pepsi. The Tea Board of India has described the claim as "totally false". It is a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black. Tea is as old as Indian civilization and is the most favourite drink among Indians. It is processed plant leaf unlike Pepsi whose ingredients are so zealously guarded secret that the formula has been
stored in some unknown vault. Assuming that tea contains dangerous levels of pesticide, it does not absolve Pepsi of the charges already made against it. Moreover, tea is boiled before use whereas colas are taken directly thus reducing the harmful effects.

Satish also reports that Pepsi Co Chairman Rajeev Bakshi is supporting a ban on selling "fun" drinks in primary schools. Bakshi's is reported to have said - "Soft drinks should not be consumed at that age. If schools ban them, we will not contest them".

Meanwhile, Frank Lavin, under secretary for international trade has said the ban is a setback for the Indian Economy. Lavin is quoted as saying the ban could hinder American investment dollars in the region, adding,

" it would be unfortunate if the loudest voices were those who did not want to treat foreign companies fairly.

Meanwhile The Insider which reports on conspiracy theories and the New World Order, headlined the controversy this way:

Coke and Pepsi banned in India for putting poison into drinks

The addictive sugary American drink, "Coca Cola", has been banned in many regions accross India, because the product is being contaminated with poisonous chemicals which the company claims are "safe".

Tests show that the amount of harmful chemicals in the mixture is actually being gradually increased. The mass media is not reporting which chemicals are involved or their effects in humans, they are simply described simply as "pesticides", and the long history of contamination now on record is allegedly not deliberate.

The ban has now spread to the UK according to UPI:

Britain's University of Sussex has banned all Coca-Cola products from its student union to protest the company's alleged business practices.

Other British campuses are expected to follow suit amid calls for a nationwide student boycott against the soft drink giant, the Independent reported Saturday.

U.K. Students Against Coca-Cola has been pressuring the purchasing consortium that provides food and drink to British campuses to cancel its four multimillion-dollar contracts with Coke, the newspaper said.

While Satish says he now longer drinks "fun" drinks because of the health risk, he comes down hard on the government ban.

The Kerala government’s jumping into the fray and banning production as well as sales without any proper investigation is just like severing the head for curing headache. The announcement through ads by Pepsi’s brand ambassador – a popular film star that he would go to USA to drink Pepsi if it is banned in India is equally preposterous. Even the news report in Washington Post that Americans drink over 100 times more colas than Indians is not going to help matters. That Indians are not very much dependent on the colas has been proved by the most unexpected gain made by tea after the ban was imposed.

Image Credit:Yahoo! News

A Tale of Two Restaurants: Au Bon Pain & The Good Earth

As anyone who studied the rivalry between McDonald's and Burger King will tell you, it's not the quality of the food that creates loyal customers: it's the experience. This is the tale of one customer, two  restaurants and how managers can either taint or enhance customer loyalty.

They did a bad, bad thing

For the past several years my cousin Paulette has met her daughter Michelle and grandson Erik at their local mall. As part of their weekly routine they go to the Au Bon Pain for coffee.

Every single Friday. At least 150  times Paulette, Michelle and Erik have gone to the very same Au Bon Pain.

On one particular Friday, Paulette left her "bag" at the table. When she returned five minutes later, it was gone. She contacted the manager, mall security. The police were called.

Paulette canceled her credit cards and based on the advise of the  police began the 'trash can search". As the police told her, purse snatchers often just take the money and dump the purse in the trash. Paulette went through every single trash can in the mall.

After she came up empty handed she decided to go back to Au Bon Pain --just in case. While she was there she went into the ladies room. As she washing her hands and getting ready to throw the paper towel into their trash can, she noticed something odd about the plastic bag lining the trash can. Sure enough, underneath the plastic bag were two Au Bon Pain bags  and in those bags were Paulette's purse. Everything was there. The cards. The cash. Everything. Nothing--not the lipstick. not her palm pilot. Not even a pen was missing.

Given the circumstances Paulette came to the conclusion that it was probably someone working at Au Bon Pain who had stashed the  purse underneath the trash bags until they got off work.

When she shared her theory with the manager, his response was,
"It couldn't possibly be anyone who works here."

Huh?  Paulette was astounded. She called corporate headquarters. They listened to the situation, said they would check into it. They never called her back.Paulette vowed to never go to an Au Bon Pain again.

She didn't for several months. But after awhile she missed her cup of jo and found herself once again going to the Au Bon Pain. Maybe that's what Au Bon Pain was counting on.

As far as their bottom line is concerned, they have their customer back.But sometimes you can't rely on the numbers. Paulette  is no longer a loyal customer. She is a disgruntled one.A customer who is very willing to tell her story whenever she has the opportunity.  If the mall had another place to get a good cup of coffee she would be there in a coffee bean minute.

They did a good good thing.

Paulette and Iwere having a late lunch at The Good Earth Restaurant in Edina, Minnesota. We ordered our food. We got our drinks. We chatted. We watched everyone around us getting served. Finally after 25 minutes or so we mentioned that we hadn't received our food.Another 10 minutes passed.

When our server returned , she said our food was on its way but because it had been so delayed, the restaurant was treating us to our lunch. Now, The Good Earth could have simply apologized. Orders get lost in restaurants all the time. They could have offered us a complimentary dessert or offered to pick up one of our meals.  They didn't have to comp everything.

That's the point. Their act of "unexpected  generous customer service" was so appreciated that my  loyalty to The Good Earth has now reached a new level .

Will this mean I will go to The Good Earth more often? Absolutely. And that is a good good thing.

Image Credit: Flickr Image from La Familia Brophy

Chicken or the Egg; China has Hooters--Chinese Women Getting Bolt-Ons

While the Hooters in Shanghai, China has been in business  since 2004 --it seems that some are saying the restaurant is having a major impact on China's plastic surgery industry.

Last week it was reported that women in China ,who traditionally been small breasted women, now seem to be exhibiting the benefits of 'better nutrition".

"It's so different from the past when most young women would wear A- or B-cup bras," Triumph brand saleswoman Zhang Jing told the Shanghai Daily from the Landmark Plaza of China's commercial hub.

"You...never expect those thin women to have such nice figures if they are not plastic."

The article in the Australian Courier-Mail goes on to say that the Beijing Institute of Technology has its own explanation for everything busting out all over in China,

"This phenomenon, it said, was due to women eating more nutritiously and taking part in more sport.

Similar growth in the average height of children prompted a rethink last year in Beijing on the height allowance for free bus "

Call it good old American cynicism but  The Dread Pundit Bluto believes there is a Hooters connection.

"It comes as no surprise to me that a world-famous Hooters Restaurant franchise opens in China at the same time that it's being reported Chinese women are becoming more bosomy.....In my estimation, this shouldn't be a big problem to resolve. Furthermore, the 'pressing demand' could likely be a sales opportunity for American manufacturers who have been known (probably NSFW) to market F-, G-, and H-cup sizes.  Improved nutrition is considered responsible."

Meanwhile, back in Shanghai, there is a fascinating interview with one of the Hooter Girl's who applied for the job upon her parents suggestion who "liked the happy atmosphere" in the restaurant.

According to the Shangalist, her American name is Quasar

Had you ever heard of Hooters before? No.

What did they tell you about Hooters? It's a famous American restaurant established in 1985 in Florida. And it is famous for its unique sports style and hot girls.

So they told you about the hot girls? Yes, but we know we are different from the native Hooters girls.

"In what way? Not as open as them.

What do you mean, not as open? Well, at the begining, there were several native girls. They came here to train the girls here and I have been told they were very energetic and hot. Because of the Chinese culture, sometimes we are still very shy.

When you say native girls, do you mean American? Yeah.

So maybe you aren't as outgoing as the American girls ... but are the Chinese Hooters girls just as hot? Maybe some of us are. Hooters is a large family and everyone has her own character, so we can attract different customers."

To watch to  the Chinese Hooter "Hot Girls' doing the hokey pokey, click here.

Hat Tip  to:

Carnival of the Capitalists

And, a Shout Out and best wishes to Carnival of Business that published its second edition yesterday..including a post from FunnyBusiness.

 

 

Truthiness, Zero Coke & Blogs

Diet Coke is a girlie drink. The Coca-Cola Company wants to bring  the "man's man" audience to their drinking community. They've put up $18 million dollars to convince twenty-something testosterone- laden humans that this is the drink that will keep hair on their chest,love handles at bay, and rocket launch their coolness aura.

The bloggers are having a field day-- at least that's the word from New Zealand's news website --Stuff

"Although the goal was to tease the market and create some buzz among the web-savvy "neos" in the twenty something age-bracket, the blogging community has issued its own verdict.

Those searching out blogger commentary on the zero movement are likely to find posts along the lines of: "How many ad agencies does it take to patronise a demographic?"

A spoof zero movement site suggests readers take the money they would usually spend on soft drinks, and give it to charity, while spin-off blog The Zero Movement Sucks has begun selling T-shirts that say: "I joined the zero movement and all I got was this lousy brain tumour"."

Even forgetting that this is the company that survived a self-inflicted near fatal wound to its brand with the ill-fated Classic Coke introduction, you would think that a company that can spend $18 dollars to promote a product would understand what Stephen Colbert, bloggers, and the drinking public get.

Even truthiness has its limits.

For Corporate Bloggers the case of the Zero Movement Blog could become a Coke Classic for doing everything you shouldn't do in blogging to try to reach your target audience.

In the case of the "Zero Movement' the bloggers are doing to Zero Coke what Oprah Just did to James Frey.

Tony Kelly a journalist and blogger for B&T, Australia's highest-circlation advertising, marketing and media magazine says the bloggers are hammering Cokes attempt at blogging as,

"a cynical  marketing ploy abusing the high level communication and trust established between bloggers and the communities that gather around them. There are some wonderful aspects to an age where every consumer has a voice if they have access to blogger.com or typepad but if you are big company like Coke trying desperately to be down with the kids, then a site like The Zero Movement Sucks isn’t one of them."

Back in June, brand expert Laura Ries shared her thoughts on the Zero Movement.

"Zero does zero for the Coke brand. It is just a further watering down of the Coke brand in the mind of the consumer. Pretty soon, Coke will be so watered down you might as well just call it Dasani.

The idea behind Coca-Cola Zero is to attract young male consumers who shun beverages with the word Diet on them. I guess we are assuming young men are really stupid. Any one who has finished the fifth grade can figure out Coca-Cola Zero is the same as Diet Coke!:

Meanwhile, over at the Zero Movement Blogone does get the feeling that it's written by a a bunch of thirty-something females trying a little too hard to relate to twenty-something man types. A quick list of the folks that are commenting on the site, gives the feel that its found its audience -- girlie girls. Bethy, Elana ( no not me), Emma and Michelle.

See, in creating this marketing campaign targeted to males, the company overlooked a key aspect of human nature. Girls really believe the lyrics to the old Connie Francis song, " Where the boys are, someone waits for me A smilin' face, a warm embrace, two arms to hold me tenderly Where the boys are, my true love will be He's walkin' down some street in town and I know he's lookin' there for me"

Tipster

When you work in a coffee shop, a good day or bad day depends on large part on how many tips you get.

It's been nine months since Rikki started her career as a barista. Saturday was a very good day. She made over $20 in tips.

This is her first job. She works one day after school and on the weekends.

While the job has taught her many lessons,her biggest is that their is a hierarchy to the tip jar. At her coffee shop, there is one barista that everyone wants to work with because he racks in the tips more than anyone else.Saturday was her lucky day.

It paid off in espresso beans.

When I asked her why she thought this particular person was king of the tips,she didn't hesitate. Her answer stunned me.

She said,"He's cute."

Before Rikki mentioned anything about tip inequality, I just assumed that people typically put their loose change in the tip charge and that the person behind the counter was not that relevant to the "amount" they left.

I have never discussed with any of my friends what their coffee house tipping policy is .Now I realize that this impression of tipping policies is simply a self -generating belief- that's what I do so I've been assuming that's what everyone  else does.

Do people  really put in more money in the tip jar for a cute guy?  Would this indicate that more women then men frequent coffee houses?

If the demographics are not skewing female,  could the explanation be due to deep rooted societal biases?

Do these customers give  cute guys bigger tips because customers assume guys have more expenses than cute girls. 

Is the assumption that cute guys need and deserve more money than cute girls because there is a belief (albeit a false one) that  cute guys pay for dates while cute girls get taken out on dates?

Or is Rikki's observation, simply wrong? Is there really no such thing as  gender bias when he comes to giving and or receiving tips?

Here's the thing. Even if Rikki is wrong, she has this perception and in this case perception is  her reality. Her experience is forming her world view.

After nine months on the job, after nine months of counting, analyzing and observing her tips, Rikki has formed the belief that men will receive greater rewards for doing the same job, simply because they are guys. And if they are cute guys, they will really be rewarded.

Her lesson and her belief: it doesn't matter how nicely she greets them, how great she serves them, her tip jar will always be a bit smaller than king of the tips.

It would be nice if I could say,"This is just your imagination. Men couldn't possibly receive  bigger tips than women.

It would be nice if I could say, "I'm sorry that is happening but when when you get a "real" job  your income will not be affected by your chromosomes.

Of course I can't say that.

NOTE: RIKKI is a pseudonym.

Getting Fired For Taking a Slice of Pizza

The contest for the best " Why I got fired" story is continuing over at www.simplyfired.com.  My favorite so far is the guy who says he got fired because he took a piece of pizza out of a conference room.

I had been working for a mortgage company as a developer for 18 months and things were going well. Then, one day I saw that a different group in my company had just finished up a pot-luck and had some pizza left over. I thought they would probably end up throwing it away and I was kind of hungry so I went for it ... I took a slice of pizza.

Apparently the employees who threw this pot luck were planning to take it home and were offended by my action. Now I thought we were all basically on the same team and if someone didn't like what I did they would tell me so and I would apologize and maybe offer to pay for the pizza. These employees ended up telling their manager, who told her vice president about what I did.

The worst part about this is that I wasn't told about any of this until a month after the incident. No warning, no second chance.

I know that I left an impression because to this day my former coworkers refer to unattended pizza as "programmer bait".

What I love about this entire site is not so much the stories but the reaction and feedback the storytellers get. When I read this story I thought it was absolutely ridiculous that anyone would get fired for helping themselves to a slice of pizza.

However, there were plenty who took the point of view that "taking stuff without asking is stealing and stealing is a fireable offense."

Seeing the various reations to this story reminds me how important it is to understand the "values" different employees bring to the workplace. While my value system says taking a slice of pizza from a  conference room is no big deal, it is a big deal to some people.

Understanding the differences that make a difference can mean the success and or failure of a business team.

So for fun, why not order a pizza for your team today  and find out how they would react if someone helped themselves to a slice without asking. You could learn more about your team from that one discussion than you've ever known before.

Oh, the simply fired contest runs through August 26th.