FunnyBusiness: Everything About Business Except The Bottom Line

Once again, it pays to be a hare aka The Story of a Sun Country Flight Attendant

When she decided to become a flight attendant 17 years ago she could have as easily applied at Northwest Airlines. 

Instead she opted for Sun Country-- a smaller , privately owned airlines also headquartered in The Twin Cities  that offered lower pay and fewer benefits.

" At the time we were flying to Oslo Norway and I am fluent in Norwegian," she explained.

She stayed with Sun Country because these days the airlines doesn't have lay overs.

" We do turnarounds. I leave the house in the morning and I'm often home before the kids get back from school."

She says she started as the same time that one of her friends started at Northwest Airlines. At the time the friend was making more money. She had more benefits.

Today, the flight attendant at Sun Country makes more than her friend---Northwest has slashed attendants salaries by nearly 40%. Morale is horrid.

Most importantly, the Sun Country flight attendant likes her job.She said, " we have fun." Of her friend she says, " she's not having much fun these days." Then she shudders.

Image Credit: Hare and Tortoise Sculpture in  Boston'sCopley Square . Created in 1995 by Nancy Schon as a tribute to all the runners who have participated in the Boston Marathon. Click here to read about the inspiration behind this popular Boston sculpture.

Sounds of Silence on Working Mothers Top 100

It's the type of topic you'd expect bloggers to well, blog about. For the 21st time,Working Mothers Magazine released its list of the Top 100 family friendly places to work. The news was greeted with relative silence--at least among bloggers.

To get on the list,companies have to complete a 550 quesion survey. They are ranked on seven criteria:

The application includes detailed questions about the workforce, compensation, child-care and flexibility programs, leave policies and more. The application checks the usage, availability and tracking of programs, as well as the accountability of managers who oversee them. That means it's not enough to have a great program if no one is using it.

WHAT'S MEASURED Seven areas are measured and scored: workforce profile, compensation, child care, flexibility, time off and leaves, family-friendly programs and company culture.

So what's with all the silence? Is it because women don't care, don't believe the survey, or is it because as working mothers they simply don't have time to weigh in on the significance, gains, surprises and trends listed in the top 100.

The one place that does seem to be having a conversation about the list is in the MOMania, a blog on the Atlanta  Journal-Constitution by Theresa Walsh Giarrusso. It's a conversation we've heard before: working moms should not have special work privileges.

From Brian:

My company is not “mother friendly”… and a good thing, too. I’ve got plenty to do without covering for someone else’s job too.

Now, if you want a realistic accommodation of people’s work/life demands, you could push for a WORKER-friendly company: one that treats all employees equally and recognizes that we ALL have obligations and responsibilities outside the office. But a “mother-friendly” company? Heck no, what a terrible idea.

From Not A Mom

I am a woman who chose not to have children, but I do have a life outside of the office. Why should mothers get extra flexibility in their jobs that I don’t? Personally I feel that ALL employees should have some flexibility in their hours, no matter what their family situation may be. We all have things we need to do outside of work. Not just moms.

From StayInvolved

At my company your schedule and flexibility with hours is not determined by your gender but by your position and business needs.

Sorry NoKidz, sounds like you work with some terribly selfish people. I recently had to balance work, motherhood and caring for a dying parent. Could not have done it without the help and support of my coworkers.

 

Here's a link to the top 100

You've Got Mail, Radio Shack's Electronic Pink Slip

The email read "  "The work force reduction notification is currently in progress. Unfortunately, your position is one that has been eliminated."

Aside from that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

In trying to explain the company's unconscionable behavior of firing 400 people via email, a RadioShack a company spokesperson  Kay Jackson  said, " Company officials had told employees in a series of meetings that layoff notices would be delivered electronically" She said employees were invited to ask questions before Tuesday's notification on a company intranet site.

So there you have it. The "we warned you excuse". Which  makes about as much sense as " it's part of youth culture " excuse ,and "I was gobsmacked" excuse.

There  is precedent for RadioShack's behavior.

Earlier this month, TheTimes in England reported that a shop keeper defended his decision to fire an employee via a txt message because " it's part of youth culture."

Katy Tanner, 21, learnt that she had lost her job as a sales assistant at the Blue Banana store in Cardiff only when she received the text message. She had been working at the shop for eight weeks.

The text message, sent by Alex Bartlett, the shop manager, said: “We’ve reviewed your sales figures and they’re not up to the level we need. As a result we will not require your services any more. Thank you for your time with us.”

Miss Tanner was at home because of a migraine when she received the message. She said: “I don’t think it’s right to just text someone. At least they should have talked to me face to face. It’s very impersonal and not at all professional.

The trend to "sack text"evidently began in 2003 on the recommendation of PriceWaterhouseCoopers. Again in England, the business consulting firm advised their client The Accident, an insurance firm to send text messages to more than 3000 employees announcing the company was shutting down and that they were being laid off. Their rationale was that since the company had run out of money, txting would be the most cost-efficient thing to do.

At the time, the owner of the company said he was "too devastated" about the loss of the company. However, after he was spotted sunning himself in a villa in Spain, 21 employees sued and as was reported by The Register

"The tribunal ruled in their favour adding that staff had been "cynically manipulated".

But since the company has no cash, the compensation claim will be covered by the Government using taxpayers' money, the Telegraph reports.

Following yesterday's decision, other former workers are now expected to seek compensation."

At the time of the original text message  The BBC  reported the police were called to the insurance company.

"it was reported disgruntled workers looted offices of computer equipment before leaving their workplace following news of the redundancies.

Looting was definitely on the mind of HighJive  responding to this post on Make The Logo Bigger 

"Hope one of them was the marketing director who greenlit the recent testimonial ads with 40-year olds playing teens.While this isn’t the first time a company fired someone via email, 400 all at once is pretty ballsy.I’m guessing a few of those ex-employees may come back at a later date to ‘update’ management on their job search. I’ll be looking out for that breaking news on CNN.
(Via Drudge on Breitbart.)"

HighJive's response:
"actually, it was pretty ballsy. most employers disconnect people's computer before firing them to avoid disgruntled types messing with the systems."


You can't make this stuff up.


Image Credit: Flickr Member Jamalulo

 

 

What Me Worry? Why Corporate Execs Aren't Singing The Real Estate Blues

You'd be smiling too if your latest employee benefits package protected you from  potential losses of the housing bubble. In an article in Slate, Michele Leder---who shares what corporations try to hide in the footnotes of their SEC filings in her blog, Footnoted.org writes:

"the executives who were first in line with jets, sweetheart loans, stock options, and repriced stock options have now devised the first post-real-estate bubble compensation trick. They've figured out how to shelter their own houses from the declining real estate market—by getting their corporations to guarantee their sale price. You may be sweating that you have to sell at a loss, but your CEO isn't. Since the beginning of this summer, at least a half-dozen companies, including eBay and Nike, have disclosed in their routine Securities and Exchange Commission filings that they're now protecting their executives from real estate market forces. The terms in the filings vary—"protection against loss"; "loss protection"; and "price protection"—but the meaning is the same: They are essentially guaranteeing that executives' homes will sell for a good price."

  Image Credit Flickr member Emyduck

Distributor of NWA's "101 Ways To Save Money" apologizes--sort of

As a followup to Wednesday's Post Northwest Airlines Encourages Employees to Dumpster Dive, I contacted NEAS,the company responsible for suggesting that dumpster diving is a great way to save money.

Here is their media response

 

As far as apologies go it is rather pathetic. Instead of acknowledging how incredibly insipid and offensive the booklet is, they apologize for the distribution and then have the audacity to finger-point the real responsibility to some unknown author. Give me a break!

Eventually they get around to saying they  apologize that "some of the information was not appropriate "but the kicker is they end up  this media memo by  putting the responsibility  right back on the folks who were offended by saying
" and was felt to be offensive"

Here's the deal. People didn't just feel it was offensive. It was offensive.

A requests for an interview was denied --the very cordial spokesperson assured me the memo would answer all of my questions and that the company was not issuing any further statements on the issue.

The big question is " If NEAS didn't write the copy, who did?"

Also, the dumpster diving was just one of many ludicrous suggestions. MN Headhunter has the list in its entirety.
 

Northwest Airlines encourages employees to "Dumpster Dive"

I kid you not.  Northwest  Airlines hired an outside firm to create a booklet "Preparing for a Financial Setback" to help financially strapped employees who have endured massive pay cuts. Northwest is also planning on cutting more jobs.

One of the sections of the booklet included "101 ways to save money". For a time, the advice was posted on their website and about 50 employees received the booklet with the incredibly offensive advice.

'Northwest spokesman Roman Blahoski said some employees who received the handbook had taken issue with a couple of the items. "We agree that some of these suggestions and tips ... were a bit insensitive," Blahoski told Reuters.

     

The four-page booklet, "Preparing for a Financial Setback" contained suggestions such as shopping in thrift stores, taking "a date for a walk along the beach or in the woods" and not being "shy about pulling something you like out of the trash."

While this was reported on FoxNews.com on Tuesday, neither the StarTribune or the St.Paul Pioneer Press had any coverage of this bizarre story.

A couple of thoughts. If someone in Northwest's communication department approved this dribble, shouldn't they be accountable? 

Oh, and its not a " bit insensitive" It's egregiously offensive.

How did such an offensive, outlandish, insensitive and idiotic idea get approved?  Chances are, no one in the Northwest Communications area actually  proofread the copy in the booklet before it was printed or put on their website. ( you won't find it there now) One can only assume that on a list of priorities, a booklet providing financial advice to employees who are facing lay offs just isn't high on a priority list of a communication department dealing with potential strikes, bankruptcy, and general unhappy customers.

Then there's the consultants who came up with the advice in the first place. The Reuters article said it was an outside firm. Just who is this firm and why would they include a recommendation to rummage through the trash?  Is there another side to the story that we are just missing?

The employees of NWA deserve an apology from the Douglas Steenland, president and CEO of NWA.

In fact, he should have to spend a day dumpster diving.

You can't make this stuff up.

Oh, and the tag line for the photo is " So I went dumpster diving and all I got was this lousy lice."

Image Credit: Flickr member Thomask

Working Holiday

What's wrong with this picture?   The cartoon was featured as part of a recent article in Work/Life Today,which bills itself as "the newsletter for work/life professionals".

In my version of this cartoon instead of the man in the flowered swimming trunks there would be a mom in an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini on the surfboard with laptop, cellphone(wireless ear piece-natch), rubbing SPF 40 suntan lotion on a  small child while giving them a Ziploc bag full of cheerios.

Am I missing anything? Perhaps the pet dog is on the back of the surfboard too.

The article was in response to Expedia's sixth annual survey on the vacation habits of work prone Americans. According to the survey, which was released shortly before the 4th, Americans are forfeiting 574 million vacation days. When you realize that Americans have the smallest amount of vacation to begin with,(France has over 30 days a year)the reality of those four days left in the office is magnified. As Nina at Queercents wrote in her post on the issue....

Jo Bronson at Time recently penned a commentary about Americans and their inability to relax. He believes that we have begun to prefer brief snippets of what he calls “stolen time” to the long stretches of authorized vacation. He notes, “According to travel agents, the growth trend in travel is the half-week sneak-away built around a weekend. Families still hit Disneyland and Paris, but we cram the experience into three or four days. We don’t get to relax, but we come away feeling as if we got a bargain for our precious time. Fewer workdays off means less catching up.” Why are so many Americans not taking their vacations? He concludes, “One of the top reasons given for not taking a vacation is that it’s too much extra work. We have to get ahead of our workload in order to leave, and then we have to catch up on our workload upon our return. The longer the vacation we take, the bigger the stumbling blocks appear. So only 14% of Americans will take a vacation two weeks or longer this summer. Bottom line: it’s simply become too stressful to relax.”

The technical term for this growing trend is Vacation Deprivation. According to the folks at Word Spy:

"vacation deprivation n. Foregoing vacation days because of busyness at work.
—vacation deprived adj.

In addition to providing citations of how the term is being used, Word Spy also lists the earliest citation it could find. Turns out that honor goes to The Dallas Morning News on October 29, 1995.

While many of us fret over the vacation days we leave at the office, Tula Connell who blogs for the AFL-CIO puts the entire vacation deprivation issue into perspective

The survey cites 14 days as average for an American worker, a number that doesn’t include federal holidays. But citing 14 days as an “average” figure also minimizes the extent to which millions of workers get no paid vacation, even while working two or more jobs.

In fact, 25.5 million private-sector workers in the United States do not have paid holidays and 22.2 million private-sector workers have no paid vacation, according to a survey of benefits by the Center for Economic and Policy Research.

Work at Avis car rental? No paid vacation. Tend to our elderly in many of the nation’s nonunion nursing homes? No paid vacation.

In this corporate mind-set economy, where workers are getting further behind even as they work longer hours, musing about the “vacation gap” may seem like fretting over not having a garden when you can’t even afford a house."

 

Kenneth Lay Dies aka Can't Get No Satisfaction

When you are dubbed the "most hated man in Corporate America", the news of your  untimely death at a ski resort a day after Independence Day will inspire conspiracy theories, good riddance wishes ,and the nagging thought in many  that he "got off too easy".

As expected,  the blogosphere is debating, Did he fake his death?
From Bitch Ph.D

They want us to believe that the good lord has struck Ken Lay down, but I heard he bought a body on the black market and is hiding out in Dick Cheney's garage.

And  from the comment section of Newscoma ,who had written a play by play post called "Ken Lay's Last Act, Freaking Out Wikipedia,"

"Dave said...       

       

I have hard evidence that Ken was killed by the Freemasons because he was about to reveal secrets about the Illuminati and the New World Order. It was made to look like a heart attack by the same people who tried to cover up the UFO crash at Roswell.

I also have passages from the Bible that show exactly how this incident will effect global warming.

      

7/05/2006 10:56:03 PM      

newscoma said...               

       

I was leaning toward Bigfoot, but yours is much more plausible."

Some reactions were surprising, as Barbara Walters announced the news on The View, she offered up her perspective on the cause of death, and as Jossip so aptly noted,  she used The Breaking News to transition to a segment on the stress of having dads in the delivery room. Perhaps the stress of the Star Jones pleasantries is clouding her better news judgment.

However, it's the news  being reported in the Wall Street Journal ( I would link but it's a subscription publication) that is apt to really goad the thousands of employees and investors who saw their life savings evaporate because of Lay's lies.

For many, there was some comfort that he would have to spend the remaining days of his life in prison.Turns out that since Lay died before his case could be appealed, his criminal conviction is likely to be expunged.

Mr. Lay's death likely will erase his conviction. Under prior decisions by the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals -- which includes Houston, where he was convicted -- a person who dies before his appeal is completed isn't considered convicted. His death also likely will end the efforts of prosecutors to seize through the criminal proceeding Mr. Lay's remaining assets, since he may no longer be considered a felon, said Wayne State University law professor Peter Henning. Kathryn Ruemmler, one of the lead prosecutors in the criminal trial of Mr. Lay and Mr. Skilling, declined to comment.


However, existing civil suits by the Securities and Exchange Commission and attorneys representing Enron investors can presumably continue against Mr. Lay's estate. Whether those civil cases can extract much is unclear. Mr. Lay claimed during trial that his fortune, which once was estimated to be several hundred million dollars, had largely been wiped out. Much of his holdings had been in Enron stock, which fell to pennies a share after the company's bankruptcy.

As Linda Ellerbee would say, "And so it goes."

Are Health Care Benefits an endangered species?

If all things were equal--given the choice--most people would opt to work for themselves rather than for a corporation.

But all things are not equal. One of the huge reasons people opt in to corporate life are THE BENEFITS.

That motivation may be changing as more companies pull back on their health care benefits. According to Think Progress health care premiums  have skyrocketed  73%  in health care premiums since 2000.

   

"Premiums have risen by 73 percent since 2000. And businesses now spend nearly $450 billion on health benefits – not counting their Medicare payroll taxes. In a few short years, the health costs of Fortune 500 companies will exceed their profits. Despite these costs, the U.S. ranks 34th on life expectancy, 41st in infant mortality, and 37th, according to the World Health Organization, in health system performance."

As the Wall Street Journal and Minneapolis Star Tribune recently reported, Target Corporation has notified their employees that it may be eliminating its traditional health care plans.

   

"Target spokeswoman Lena Michaud said the retailer told its workers that its traditional health plan might be discontinued. But she said a final decision hasn't been made.

"This is a long-term strategy that will help both us and team members [employees] save money by encouraging them to take greater control over their health-care spending," Ms. Michaud said.    

"Under its new plans, Target annually will contribute $400 for individual workers and $800 for families. Monthly premiums will drop to as little as $20 for individuals. But deductibles will be much higher than Target's traditional plan: as high as $5,000.

The other alternative is the health-reimbursement account, which is similar to health-savings accounts, except the employer funds them and they aren't portable. The premiums paid by the workers are higher than the health-savings accounts, but the deductibles are lower.

"These plans are great if you are healthy, wealthy or young," says Bernie Hesse, a Minnesota-based organizer for the United Food and Commercial Workers, which is trying to organize Target."

Critics say this approach to health care benefits reduces preventative care and creates an environment where people don't seek medical attention until they are really sick."

To get a hint of what their thinking may be, you just have to review a  not so secret memo written in 2005  to Wal-Mart's Board of Directors by Susan Chambers, who was then Wal-Mart's Executive Vice President for Benefits( she has since been promoted) .The contents of that memo were widely reported in the New York Times and major media like CNN

   

"Chambers' memo proposes a number of ways that Wal-Mart could hold down spending on health care and benefits while minimizing damage to its reputation. Those proposals include nine "limited-risk initiatives" and five "bold steps."

   

The initiatives include increasing the number of part-time employees while making it easier for part-time employees to become eligible for benefits and offering a variety of benefits from which employees may choose.

   

Chambers also mentioned a plan already under way to add health clinics to stores.

   

The "bold steps" called for Wal-Mart to institute "consumer-driven health plans" with Health Savings Accounts that would go toward paying higher deductibles; restructuring the retirement program to put more money into health care and less into retirement; redesigning employment at Wal-Mart "to attract a healthier, more productive workforce"; making strategic investments to counter criticism; and improving communications about the company's benefits offering."

The Wal-MartWatch has excerpts from the memo including this one on the potential risk employees are putting themselves in for participating in Wal-Mart's Family Plan.

   

ON BANKRUPTCY … "On the Family plan, an Associate must spend between 74 and 150 percent of household income on healthcare (approximately $13,000 to $27,000) before insurance takes over completely. Though few associates reach this level of spending, those who do almost certainly end up declaring personal bankruptcy" [Wal-Mart Secret Memo, Page 6, http://walmartwatch.com/memo; New York Times, 10/26/05]

The decision to change their health care benefit is not just a benefits issues..  For Target, going from a company with a reputation for offering "some of the best benefits" available to a company whose health care program looks eerily  similar to Wal-Mart's is a huge business risk.

Forget the bad PR --what will it do to recruiting and retention?Long-term will  the savings on health care costs be worth the potential brain drain that could occur because of their leaner than lean health benefits?

 

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Your Special Blend

For the past year, Caitlyn has been working at Starbucks, part time. She took the job for the benefits. Starbucks is one of the few companies that allows employees to get benefits for working 20 hours a week. There is a catch-- if you drop below the 20 hours, your  benefits are yanked. This means there has to be a tacit agreement with the "scheduler" that you will always average 20 hours a week.

So while Starbucks does offer these benefits to part timers, receiving and keeping them are two different things.

Starbucks calls their employee benefits package "Your Special Blend".

"Partners that

work full time or part time (20 hours or more per week) may participate in a variety of programs, and make choices based on individual needs and interests. Depending on job and personal situation, a partner’s total pay package may include:

	Progressive Compensation Package
	Healthcare Benefits (Medical, Prescription Drugs, Dental and Vision)
	Retirement Savings Plan
	Stock Options and Discount Stock Purchase Plan
	Income Protection Plan (Life and Disability Coverage)
	Management Bonus Plan
	Adoption Assistance Plan
	Domestic partner benefits
	Referral programs and support resources for child and eldercare
	Discounted Starbucks merchandise
And of course, all partners get a pound of coffee each week.

So for an entire year Caitlyn made put in her time creating half caf, skim super dry  grande caps with a shot of hazelnut. She didn't love the work. She did love the benefits.

Then there was a change in management. The new manager hired three new people --people she had worked with at another location and began slashing the hours of some of the regulars.

Instead of getting the 20 hours a week needed to qualify for insurance, Caitlyn is now getting anywhere from 18 to 9 hours.

When she went to the manager and explained without the hours she wouldn't qualify for the insurance, the new manager was less than sympathetic saying  the reason Caitlyn's hours were being reduced was because she couldn't start her shift until 6:00 pm and the manager wanted her to start at 4:30 pm.

As Caitlyn explained, " I started at 6:00 pm for the past year without any problems, now this manager says I can't close effectively unless I start at 4:30. It doesn't make sense. We don't close until 11:00 p.m."

According to Caitlyn she is not alone-- her friend Janna ,who happens to be pregnant ,is in the same boat -- her hours have been slashed and she will no longer be eligible for Starbuck's Special Blend of benefits either.

Is this typical? Unusual? What is the experience of Starbucks part -time workers?Is this a trend or just an unusual situation at one lonely Starbucks?

Image Credit: Flickr member Recent Topics
Note: Caitlyn is a pseudonym. She is continuing to work at Starbucks for the time being.