FunnyBusiness: Everything About Business Except The Bottom Line

Wag The Dog Fa La La La La La La La La

Oy. It started during Sunday lunch with my parents. My mom was irate: why were retailers insisting on calling it Holiday Shopping instead of Christmas Shopping?

"You're upset about this?" I asked,somewhat surprised and I might add  very confused since my mom, born in Israel, has never had a Christmas Tree, attended a cookie exchange, gone Christmas caroling or even sent anyone a Christmas Card. She opts for the very secular Seasons Greetings.

It wasn't until much later in the day that I figured out where her outrage was coming from--- She, like many octagenarians ( okay she won't be 80 until March)  are Fox News Devotees.

Fox has been wagging the dog concerning a mythical  War on Christmas for the past year--charging secular progressives are behind a plot to destroy our country.FOX is making a convoluted connection with the trend  of retailers to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas to all things evil .

Using the logic that smoking weed will lead to heroin addiction, these pretend war advocates claim that saying Happy Holidays instead of  Merry Christmas somehow promotes legalized abortion, drug addiction and gay marriage.

If my mom is any gauge of their success, they are winning this mythical war. As my daughter would say...annoying.

Now, from a retail perspective--if businesses start going into the "red" by advertising Ho HO Holidays instead of Merry Christmas then Merry Christmas it will be.

For retailers, its all about the 'green"--show them the money and the advertising will follow. It's not complicated.

USA TODAY has two editorials on the controversy. The left deals with the issue of the pretend war while the right deals with constitutional freedoms.

T. Jeremy Gunn ACLU Program on Freedom of Religion and Belief  opens his editorial with anecdote of what happened last year when a protest group came caroling at the ACLU's Washington Offices.

"To tell the truth, the ACLU is not often serenaded by Christmas carolers. So it was with some excitement that the staff went outside and joined in the singing. They brought with them cookies and warm drinks to share. One staff member, who is an ordained Baptist minister, did a little witnessing about his faith to some astonished proponents of family values.

Fox News did broadcast the event (as a part of its "war against Christmas" campaign). Although the visiting singers were shown, the cameras failed to include any footage showing that everyone had participated in the caroling. Rather than reporting the facts, the anchor preferred the propaganda: "We believe the ACLU heard the message loud and clear, but they don't care."

Randy Singer, author of The Judge Who Stole Christmas writes that the law doesn't mandate a secular Christmas

."...if we eliminate religious symbols from the public square, can the Christmas holiday itself be far behind? This is the specter of Christmas future. Let's not pretend. Christmas is a national holiday with religious roots that ultimately extend back to a manger in Bethlehem. If we want to preserve the Christmas holidays tomorrow, public officials today should continue the tradition of displays reflecting the diversity of our society — both religious and non-religious.

Under our Constitution, there's nothing wrong with acknowledging the historical origins of a religious holiday. Elected officials and federal judges are not required to replace our pluralistic society with an atheistic one.

We are a diverse people with rich religious traditions. There should be room in the square for us all

Which of course is what the retailers are trying to do by saying Happy Holidays in their advertising-- they are trying  to make room for all of us.

Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukah! And to quote T. Jeremy Gunn from his editorial,   "and for believers in all other traditions: Thank you for enriching our world!

Senator Bonoff

In a special election for the state senate seat in Minnesota's District 43, my dear friend Terri Bonoff won!  Terri is my first close friend to win a state office and I couldn't be more excited for her.

As a DFLer( that's a Minnesota exclusive -- Democratic Farmer Labor Party) Terri won in a traditionally republican district. And , although she is a relatively newcomer to politics ( she did serve on her city's planning commission), she won in an election against a respected, city mayor.

Over the past twenty some years, Terri has been a client, an employee, a client again and always a good friend.

With four kids at home ( now two in college with a third leaving next year) Terri left a very successful business career around five years ago to spend more time with her children

She is smart. Tough.  And, one of the best negotiators I have ever observed. She is going to be a vocal and strong advocate in the state senate.

So what do you send a friend who has just won an election? I decided to send her a standing ovation from Playfair.com . It's a great way to let someone know they've done a terriFic job.

Double Standard

If someone read you the first two sentences of Maureen Dowd's column on the nomination of Harriet Miers,you might think you were listening to talk radio. ( I would link you to the column but The New York Times now requires a subscription for access to their columnists.

"I hope President Bush doesn't have any more office wives tucked away in the White House.

There are only so many supremely powerful jobs to give to women who are not qualified to get them."

My problem with Dowd's column isn't that she has issues or concerns with Harriet Miers , Condeleeza Rice or Karen Hughes; my problem is that Dowd uses a rationale and logic that pitifully stereotypes women and is about as anti-feminist a column that I have read in a long time.

To read Dowd, you would think that loyal,hardworking women are  actually love-sick cheerleaders pining away because of their unrequited love for George W. Bush.

If these three women are the only people in the Bush administration that work that hard, or are that loyal, then maybe that would be a fair depiction.

But there are men who are as loyal and who work as hard as these women. What are their sexual motivations?

Not only does Dowd insinuate that a woman would only be hard-working if she somehow was in love with her boss, it also depicts these women as "less-then"  real women ( real women being those who are either married, a size 4 ,or who have achieved work-balance so that they never put their work ahead of their personal lives)

Dowd describes both Condeleeza Rice and Harriet Miers as workaholic bachelorettes.  Bachelorettes? Does Dowd describes herself, as a bachelorette?

Technically, these women are bachelorettes  since they are not and have never been married, but if you go by Merriam Webster's definition, a bachelorette is a term for young, unmarried women.  By most standards neither Rice nor Miers would be considered young.

More important, please explain what their marital status has to do with their ability to do their job? 

Since Ms.Hughes is married, Dowd opted to diss her femininity by focusing on Hughes height--she's six feet tall. Dowd describes her as a 6 foot Texan. Making her sound more like a cowboy than a diplomat.

Please explain what her height has to do with anything to do with anything other than genetics

It is so disappointing to read a Pulitzer Prize winning columnist fall right into the anti-feminist trap that the only motivation that a woman  could possibly have to to devote herself to her career is unrequited love.

Criticize these loyalist on the facts. Evaluate them the same as you would do a male nominee. If, in Dowd's opinion this is just the latest of 20 nominees who are not qualified,say that.

But to single out the women gives the impression that the men being appointed in the Bush administration are somehow qualified. Is that what you intended me to takeaway from this column?

Focusing on "their love" for George Bush is insulting to them and insulting to every woman who has tried to advance her career without sleeping her way to the top.

Who would have thought that Dowd would be the ultimate anti-feminist?

Update on Mardi Gras Rosary

On Wednesday September 7th, I posted my first attempt at video logging. The story was about my friend Kim, a bead artist and New Orleans native who creates wonderful jewelry from vintage glass mardi gras beads.

Kim donated three of her pieces to be auctioned on eBay with the 100% of the proceeds going to Habitat For Humanity. Those original items sold within a couple of hours!

Kim decided to make some additional pieces and those auctions are now up.

The funds from these auctions will go to Medical Support Association an organization that aids children and adults in desperate need by providing free medicines essential to survival.

So Go BID.  http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZkswiler1v07QQhtZ-1

The Story of the Mardi Gras Rosary

This post has been moved to December 23,2005. It was moved to make it easier to watch the video. Since the original post, I am using vblogcentral to upload high quality videos to my blog. Enjoy.

Louisiana

As I was watching CNN and the magnitude of what is happening  in the Gulf Coast is beginning  to settle in, I started playing some of my favorite Randy Newman Songs about New Orleans and Louisiana.

Maybe this will provide some comfort and strength. And, I hope I'm not breaching copyright!Download 124_Louisiana_1927.m4a

The lyrics are eerily relevant today.

"Some people got lost in the flood
Some people got away alright
The river have busted through cleard down to Plaquemines
Six feet of water in the streets of Evangelne

Louisiana, Louisiana
They're tyrin' to wash us away
They're tryin' to wash us away
Louisiana, Louisiana
They're tryin' to wash us away
They're tryin' to wash us away

President Coolidge came down in a railroad train
With a little fat man with a note-pad in his hand
The President say, "Little fat man isn't it a shame what the river has
done
To this poor crackers land."
                                                        Randy Newman

Just Do It

Haitians have a term for the secondhand clothing and stuff we send to them. They call them Kennedys.  In Tracy Kidder's Mountains Beyond Mountains( this month's book club selection)  Kidder explains the term has been around since the 1960s when President Kennedy sponsored a program sending machine oil to the impoverished country.

"The Haitians tried to use the oil for other purposes, such as cooking, and concluded that the gift was of inferior quality. Ever since, the president's name has been synonymous here with secondhand and shoddy goods."

Not surprisingly many of today's Kennedys show up  as left over  branded clothing.  From running shoes "that have seen a better day" to logoed T-shirts and baseball caps, we are providing Haitians with more than needed clothing--we are providing them with a deep insight into our branded culture.

Given the amount of branded stuff we are sending them, its no wonder that Kidder saw this

"There was a young worker at Zanmi Lasante who wore a new-looking , Haitian-style straw hat on which he or his wife had sewn a homemade piece of cloth that read NIKE."

Blame it on the Developer

By 7:00 AM,  Paula Baldwin, manager of public relations for Best Buy, had an email full of flags (no pun intended) requesting information about a Best Buy on RTE 3 in New Jersey that apparently was flying a tattered American Flag.

I called before she had had an opportunity to open any of the emails to find out what the flap was all about.

I told her. She said she would get back to me in 5 minutes. She got back to me in about 10.

The flag that was flying about 60 feet in the air right next to the Best Buy sign on RTE 3 became the object of attention this morning on MSNBC.

Don Imus, who simulcasts on both MSNBC and radio stations throughout the country, mentioned that ever since he had been doing the show from the MSNBC studios he had noticed that this flag was tattered.

Imus was not amused. While he did say he was not sure whether the flag was on Best Buy property he added, " "Isn't it against the law to fly a tattered flag?"

The more he got to thinking about it, the more annoyed he got. And so, he sent a camera crew out to show the TV audience exactly what the flag looked like.

It was a sad flag. Many would say it was a disgrace.

According to Imus and side kick Charles McCord,  this flag didn't just become tattered. It's been in a state of tatter for quite some time.

Imus suggested that Best Buy spend less time buying stuff manufactured overseas and spend more time respecting the American Flag.

Turns out the tattered flag is not on Best Buy property. According to Baldwin, Best Buy rents all of its property from development companies, and the flag belongs to the developers. The flag is their responsibility.

"Nevertheless", Baldwin said, "Best Buy is taking the flag down today and putting up a new one."

Asked who the developer is, Baldwin said that she didn't know.

Here's the thing.  Don Imus couldn't have been the only person who noticed the tattered flag. Given its location, it would be easy to assume that the flag belonged to Best Buy.

So given that scenario, why wasn't the staff of the Best Buy on RTE 3 concerned that a tattered American Flag was flying next to their name?

Didn't it occur to anyone working in this New Jersey store that it would not be a good thing for their company's image to be flying a flag in that awful condition?

Did they make calls to the developer and did the developer simply ignore their requests for a new flag?

And certainly Don Imus was not the only person who drives past that Best Buy every day to notice the flag was tattered. Did Best Buy get complaints? If they did,did they refer them to the developer?

It's great that the flag is being replaced. It would also be great to understand why it took Don Imus to get them to do it.

Runaway Pharmacists

A prediction of sorts. Coming to a court near you, a lawsuit claiming that pharmacists who are fired for refusing to fill birth control prescriptions, are actually victims of job discrimination.

To date, the lawsuit hasn't been filed---but the writing is on the wall.

The Runaway Pharmacist controversy has been ramping up for the past three years and definitely has traction. Hand these pharmacists a prescription for birth control pills and they may do one or all of the following:

(1) lecture you on their religious beliefs

(2) refuse to fill the prescription

(3) refuse to return the prescription (this seems to have happened with the morning after pill rather than standard birth control pill)

Minnesota is just the latest state to become embroiled in this growing controversy.

According to the Minneapolis Star Tribune:

"No one knows how many pharmacists in Minnesota or nationwide are declining to fill contraceptive prescriptions. But both sides in the debate say they are hearing more reports of such incidents -- and they predict that conflicts at drugstore counters are bound to increase."

"Five years ago, we didn't have evidence of this, and we would have been dumbfounded to see it," said Sarah Stoesz, president of Planned Parenthood of Minnesota, North Dakota and South Dakota. "We're not dumbfounded now. We're very concerned about what's happening."

But, M. Casey Mattox of the Center for Law and Religious Freedom said it is far more disturbing to see pharmacists under fire for their religious beliefs than it is to have women inconvenienced by taking their prescription to another drugstore. He also said that laws have long shielded doctors opposed to abortion from having to take part in the procedure.

"The principle here is precisely the same," Mattox said.

Earlier this week my friend Brian sent an email embedded with the The Star Tribune article (would include a link to the story at the Strib, but it's being archived in a couple of days).

The subject line in Brian's email:
STOP EXTREMIST PHARMACISTS AT SNYDERS

Snyders, a MN-based drug store chain, has a policy that allows pharmacists to refuse filling these prescriptions, providing the patient can get that prescription filled some place else "close" by the end of the day.

The article included an interview with Elizabeth Carpenter, vice present of public affairs for the Minnesota Pharmacists Association.

"Where you draw the line on the pharmacist's duty under the current law depends on what your definition of abortion is," she said.

Carpenter said her organization follows guidelines from the American Pharmacists Association that allow pharmacists to refuse to dispense certain drugs as long as they make sure that the patient gets the care they need. She also said her group is reviewing its policies on the subject.

Writing about the controversy last September, The BBC said

"This year, 12 states took steps to try to introduce so-called conscience clauses. They allow pharmacists to refuse to dispense drugs, including the Pill, on moral grounds, without losing their jobs.

In Wisconsin, the Republican-dominated assembly passed the bill, only to have it vetoed by the Democratic governor. "

Meanwhile, Washington has gotten into the act. CNN online reported in April that legislation was being introduced to pre-empt laws protecting these runaway pharmacists.

House and Senate backers unveiled a bill dubbed the Access to Legal Pharmaceuticals Act (ALPhA) on Thursday.

It would allow a pharmacist to refuse to fill a prescription only if the prescription can be passed to and filled by a co-worker at the same pharmacy.

The issue is sticky. In an article about the controversy, The Washington Post explained the point of view of the American Pharmacists Association, which supports the rights of runaway pharmacists.

"We don't have a profession of robots. We have a profession of humans. We have to acknowledge that individual pharmacists have individual beliefs," said Susan C. Winckler, the association's vice president for policy and communications. "What we suggest is that they identify those situations ahead of time and have an alternative system set up so the patient has access to their therapy."

Okay, I get it. This is a complicated issue.

But here's something that is not complicated. Snyders, and any other organization that permit runaway pharmacists, should have the courtesy of posting their policy prominently in the pharmacy area.

As an additional courtesy, they should post when a Runaway Pharmacist is on duty.

If that's the policy, just let me know so that I can be a Runaway Customer!

From Anonymous

It's a modern day "Mutiny on The Bounty", blog style. If The New York Times is correct, a group of anonymous blogging scientists may force the resignation of Director of Los Alamos, George P. Nanos.

Is this the first case of the head of an organization facing dismissal, or in the case of Director Nanos, "reassignment," because of a blog?

Are we experiencing a blogging  Butterfly Effect? The Butterfly Effect is a phenomenon where a small change at one place in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere, According to  this phenomenon demonstrates that a butterfly flapping its wings in Rio de Janeiro might change the weather in Chicago.

Will the success of this blog change how employees  everywhere use blogs to critique their employers?

Will the potential fear of being "blogged" change how bosses listen and treat employees?  Could "anonymous boss blogs" provide employees with a power base that  once attracted them to labor unions in the 20th century?

The butterfly has begun to flap its wings.

The New York Times Article, which will be archived in a few days, can be read in full on the blog.

The bloggers say they were "forced" to create a public discussion because Director Nanos shut down any internal forums of dissent. This, the bloggers say goes counter to their culture and values.

"... open debate and dissent on important issues became a cornerstone of the Los Alamos culture. I submit that this cultural characteristic is as American as apple pie and stands at the very core of Los Alamos’ identity. This Blog is a result of the view that current Laboratory management stood squarely opposed to these values. As a result, the employees sought alternative avenues to discuss issues critical to them and their future. In the past there would have been vigorous internal dissent and most of you visiting would have been completely oblivious to it, but safer and more secure as a result. Now that dissent internal to Lab has been shutdown, it has spilled onto the Internet. Many of the employees now believe that the Laboratory management cannot be trusted, do not harbor dissent and are not interested in debate. This Blog is the reaction. Above all, the culture of Los Alamos values the truth, open dissent and honest debate"

And a post defending the blog:

"Remember all those Chicken Little news reports last year, breathlessly telling a rapt public audience that the Los Alamos National Labs had "misplaced" two removable storage devices containing DoE-classified (ie, Sigma-class) nuclear weapons information? It was all an inventory error. But apparently, even though the guy who made the error had already been sacked, and had personally admitted to his error, the Director of LANL, a petty management tyrant, wasted six months leaving the labs closed and giving the employees he disliked everything from tongue-lashings to dismissals, using the "incident" as an excuse.

However, the Net has once again come to the rescue of those who are otherwise intimidated into silence; the employees at the normally highly secretive research lab have broken their silence and posted hundreds, thousands, of posts and comments criticizing the leadership of the lab. Now it looks increasingly likely that Nanos will be "reassigned" elsewhere - ie, the University of California, which runs the lab for the Department of Energy, has been embarrassed into acting."

However, as The Blog Herald noted when the blog was launched a few months ago:

"Whether the blog breaches privacy or Government secrecy laws is not known, but an open discussion on a top-secret Nuclear facility in the blogosphere would have to be raising eyebrows somewhere. "