FunnyBusiness: Everything About Business Except The Bottom Line

What's all this fuss about Transparency

Here's the challenge. How long can  you go without hearing ,saying,or reading about some one, some company, some country, some program that is committed to being transparent?

A week? A Day? A couple of hours? The word seems to pop up everywhere. However, a little research seems to indicate that I haven't been listening very well because as  buzzwords go -- it's been a top 10 buzzword  since the  20th century.

Where have I been? Why has it taken me so long to pick up on this trend? Perhaps its because half the time I have no idea what people are talking about when they say there is a need for transparency.

It's taken me until 2006 to fully understand how business and the media use the word.  That's right for nearly a decade I've  been suffering from Transparency Confusion. As a result, I have avoided incorporating it in my corporate patois.

So in the spirit of public service I thought I would take a closer look at Transparency...just in case there is anyone else out there that is not quite sure what people are talking about when they say 'It's transparent".

According to Buzzwhack

transparent, transparency: A favorite in business and government. It can mean open, visible, accessible, publicly accountable, etc. -- without privacy or secrets. "The computer age is moving society toward greater transparency." Not to be confused with the less admirable definition of transparent -- to have obvious selfish motives. Of course, we would never think of business and government in that manner.
Nominated by Tim Blankenhorn

If that were the end of it, it would be fine. But of course, Transparency has become an entity of its own.

There's Transparency International-- a global coalition against corruption. Their definition of Transparency is:

"Transparency" can be defined as a principle that allows those affected by administrative decisions, business transactions or charitable work to know not only the basic facts and figures but also the mechanisms and processes. It is the duty of civil servants, managers and trustees to act visibly, predictably and understandably. "

Then there's Transparency: the website-- which includes a collection of essays from former journalist Ken Sanes .The website that began in 1997 promises  "to make things clear".

And then there is this history of Transparency written in 1999 by Sarah Boxer and printed in the Strait Times of Singapore.

Transparency does seem to be an ideal in all sorts of ways at the
moment," said the literary critic Peter Brooks. And it might have
something to do with a confessional culture. "People don't think they
exist unless they have something to confess."

Lear sees just the opposite: The passion for transparency is an
attempt to repress hidden meaning. He takes his lessons from
Sophocles.

"Oedipus thinks that the only realm is what is transparent to the
human mind," Lear said. He hears the oracle and thinks he knows
exactly what the prophecy about killing his father and marrying his
mother means -- Get out of town.

The only problems for him are practical problems. What he does not
realise is that the gods' real message is hidden and opaque. He is
blinded by the apparent transparency.

The article goes on to say that diplomats 'shudder ' at having to say the "C"word (corruption) so instead they speak in code.

If someone is corrupt, the diplomats say " they are not transparent.' transparency has become a code word for "not corrupt."

IAnd so in diplomacy instead of saying someone is corrupt...you'll hear them say 'they are not transparent.'

And in case you're wondering how the whole transparency phenomenon started. We can thank the French Revolution.

The Jacobins believed that if you were not transparent, you had
something to hide. You were an enemy of virtue. They sent people to
the guillotine because they were opaque."

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You want me to add what to my toolbelt?

It had been a tough couple of years for Kate. For most of her professional career she had worked at one company. She was a star. She had been recognized as a top performer.

Her job was to think of new products and bring them to market.  It was exciting, challenging, demanding. There were huge budgets. Big presentations. Some travel.

Kate loved it.

She was very good at it. It was a big job. She had won lots of awards for excellence.

Then, during  the last two years, everything seemed to change.First, there was tension with a boss. Kate tells a story about a time her team had spent weeks preparing for a major presentation on the new product. Typically in these situations, the head person will listen, ask challenging questions and have the team defend their work.

Instead, her boss listened said "thank you." stood up and walked out the door. Not another word. Just thank you.

Then, not one but  two multi -million dollar product launches  were canceled at the last minute.

In Kate's world, having a product pulled is not a good thing. It means you don't have any work to do. Kate was spent. Once her second  product was pulled, she found herself with no immediate work and not eager to campaign to join another team.

" I was fried," said Kate. "So I went to my boss and suggested I take a leave of absence for the summer. I promised her I would come back in the fall rejuvenated and ready to work."

Her boss thought it was a great idea and gushed, " While you are off I want you to visit our stress management consultants and gain some new tools for your tool belt to handle stress better."

As Kate was sharing her story she said, "She really said that to me...'gain some tools for your tool belt.'"

At the time, Kate thought that she needed some new tools and diligently called for an appointment with the stress management folks.

But when she got to the stress management folks, they weren't interested in giving her a 'new tool for her toolbelt".

Once her counselor  heard Kate's story she said, " Your issue isn't stress, Kate, and you don't need any tools to handle stress better. You handle stress just fine. You have different work issues."

It was a life changing meeting. Kate says that until that very moment it had never occurred to her that she might be unfulfilled at work.

Looking back she says she was so focused on the tasks at hand that she didn't do much reflective thinking at all. So when her boss indicated she didn't handle stress well.She believed her boss. And, felt disappointed in herself that she was allowing the stress to get to her.

But with three months with no work tasks to do she  took the time to be introspective. By the time she went back to work ( and she did go back to work) she knew she wasn't going to be there for long because like many talented, creative, smart women she came to the conclusion that she would  never get what she wanted at a large company.

She planned her escape and when the time was right,left the company to start her own firm.That was about 10 years ago. Kate is still working hard.

Like Kate, I too had one of those life altering meetings very early in my professional life. I was a TV reporter making about $5.00 an hour. At that time, the weekend anchors earned a $20 talent fee for each newscast. Just doing the 6 and 11 p.m. news on one night of the weekend would have increased my lifestyle significantly.

In all ,about eight people in the newsroom decided to audition for the spot--we were all broke. When my boss posted the audition list, I was the last one ( I got the message) but was determined to put in a stellar performance ( I was still young and naive enough to think that  hiring decisions were based on performance)

On the Friday before my audition --I was scheduled for the Sunday show--- my boss announced he had hired someone from out of town. Her name was Angel.She looked like a sexed -up  blond version of  Shirley Temple( we became good work friends).

After I calmed down, I asked my boss if we could talk. I questioned his timing of the announcement-- saying that I had been promised an audition and even if he knew he wasn't going to hire me, couldn't he have at least waited to make the hiring announcement on Monday?

That's when he said, "Elana, your hair, your makeup is all wrong. You don't look like someone we want as an anchor."

I didn't quit that day. I did anchor the Sunday Show. My news director didn't bother to watch. People called in to say what a great a job I had done.

It didn't matter. I knew from the moment that I left his office, that I was leaving TV news because the tool that I needed to add to my tool belt was one I could never add. A face like an Angel.

NOTE: Kate is a pseudonym .The amount of time she has owned her business has been slightly altered.

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Tracking Schadenfreude

In my post that I lovely called, "Notes From The Road - Seattle Day 1", I shared my observation that the term Schadenfreude has become  the 2006 vocabulary  media darling --much like the overused gravitas did in 2000 ( first used widely to explain why Dick Cheney was good for the republican ticket --he brought needed gravitas).

I first read the term in an editorial by Kathleen Parker where she basically spanked people who had turned to blogs for their news.

"Schadenfreude - pleasure in others' misfortunes - has become the new barbarity on an island called Blog. When someone trips, whether Dan Rather or Eason Jordan or Judith Miller, bloggers are the bloodthirsty masses slavering for a public flogging. Incivility is their weapon and humanity their victim. "

Intrigued, I decided to keep a watch out for schadenfreude. I've heard it said by the talking heads on cable TV and then today, there it was again. This time  in a column in the National Journal written by William Powers. He too was talking about blogs. This time responding to reports that the blog bubble has busted.

"The Chicago Tribune pounced on the blog bust in an editorial dripping with old-media schadenfreude: "You're forgiven if you cling to the conventional wisdom that blogging, like half-pipe snowboarding, enjoys an unrelievedly rich future. Forgiven, but maybe behind the curve."

So now I want to really start tracking schadenfreude. I'm more convinced then ever that this word is going to rival truthiness in the near future.

And so  I ask your help. If you see it printed in a newspaper, magazine or online,or if you hear media types using it during their talking heads, add it in the comment section.  I will continue to update the list, when I hear someone using schadenfreude to describe the attitude of a particular person, group or political party.

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Back to the library

After 20 years in corporate America, one of my friends decided enough is enough. She is leaving her post in charge of competitive research and is going back to school to become a librarian.

I learned this news last night at book club. It was only after I got home from book club that I remembered I wanted to share this little ditty with them because I found this so fascinating and so appropriate for book club conversation.

Here's what I wanted to tell them.

Every morning, the folks at A.Word. A. Day aka AWAD send me a word. Yesterday's word was Dryasdust.

It took me by surprise. While I have heard the word, said the word, maybe said it more than once or twice in my life. I never knew it was a word. I thought it was a phrase...dry as dust...as in the Dust Bowl of the 1930s.

That's right. I thought the phrase was complete Americana. Born out of the suffering and angst of the Great Depression.

Instead, it turns out that the word isn't about the inability for farmers to grow crops, it's actually  from the imagination of the author Sir Walter Scott.

According to AWAD, dryasdust was first sited in the dedication of

IVANHOE . In that dedication Scott wrote

DEDICATORY EPISTLE
TO
THE REV. DR DRYASDUST, F.A.S.

Dr. Dryasdust however was the writer's own creation. He pretends to dedicate the novel to him for supplying him with dry historical details

Who knew that Sir Walter Scott had a wicked sense of humor?

So today, as you review documents or have meetings that are as dryasdust, remember, that Sir Walter Scott felt your pain.

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch

"Amber thinks I'm her bitch."

Amber is Rikki's boss. Rikki is a teenage employee who has been gainfully employed for less than a year.

Rikki is not the first employee to use the word bitch in the same sentence as her boss, but it is the generational use of the word that caught my attention.

It is for me, the first  time I've paid attention to the influence of rap and hip-hop music lyrics infiltrating  mainstream corporate patois.

I have been paying closer attention to how different generations use language in the workplace for the past few weeks --ever since I attended Blogher. During the  conference's opening remarks,one of the speakers welcomed everyone  with a greeting  and cheer that included the motivational "F-them!"

Despite my regular and frequent use of the F word, I still try to monitor where I say it. Does that make me a closet F user? Or is it just a generational divide?

I have made a personal and deliberate decision to  never use the F word  to greet a gathering of 300 professionals.  I have deliberately chosen not to write out the F word, the S word and definitely not the C word in my blog.

Even as I write this, it feels a bit puritanical and somewhat hypocritical. But that's where I'm sitting today ,clearly a child of my generation where we say the "F" word, but rarely in front of our parents.

The B word is a different story. While I'm not sure I would include the word bitch in a public presentation to 300 people, bitch is definitely a word I have used to describe a few clients and coworkers.

Not surprisingly, Rikki and I have very different reactions to using the word bitch to describe "servitude". I see it as a dark, violent definition which conjures up pictures of  prison rape and complete humiliation.

Rikki sees it as cool slang.

The bitch conversation came on the heels of a conference call I participated in yesterday about civility, use of language online and in F2F conversations.

The call, hosted by Nancy White and Bill Anderson was a free wheeling discussion exploring our attitudes about the perceived current trend of abrasive commenting on blogs, name calling ,and general in your face language that is a part of our daily lives.

No decisions. Just a sharing of thoughts. A dangling conversation to be continued.

NOTE: Amber and Rikki are pseudonyms.