The 7 Things I Would Never Tell My Mother Meme

In the online world when you hear the words, " It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas," you know that holiday memes are flying back and forth from blogger to blogger.  A meme is the digital equivalent of a chain letter.

Two years ago -- almost to the day --Nany White tagged me to participate in the Meme " Five  Things You May Not Know About Me" I changed it to Five Comments That Changed How I View My World.

I've been tagged again. This time by  Yvonne DiVita  author of Dickless Marketing and the Lipsticking Blog , and one of the first bloggers who mentored me back in 2004 when I started this blog. She had been tagged by:

Toby Bloomberg, she of the outstanding Diva Marketing blog, was tagged recently by non-other than the esteemed B.L. Ochman (can you tell these ladies are among my BBFFs? hey, B.L. ,I grew up in a haunted house, too!) to reveal "7 Things that you don't know about me..." and then tagged me.

Except Yvonne Changed The Rules. Kinda like reading the fortunes in Chinese Fortune cookies and adding the phrase "in bed" at the end of each fortune. Yvonne's twist on the Meme: 7 Things I Would Never Tell My Mother.

1. I would never tell my mother I agree with her political views.You know those grandparents Sarah Silverman describes in the Great Schlep video?  That would be my mother But she doesn't live in Florida. She does watch Fox News and Channels Bill O' Reilly. Last year she went on a tirade why people should say Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays. This from the woman who never sent Christmas Cards but Season Greetings Cards.

2. I would never tell my mother the details of every meal I ate on my vacation.  You know how many people share their vacations by pulling out a packet of photos or sending you an online link to their digitals? Well, please know when you ask my mom how was your vacation be prepared to hear how the restaurant prepared the lamb chops. Just this weekend while we were celebrating my dad's 86th birthday, she asked about a meal we had in San Francisco with my nephew Mark. Good Thing my daughter Berit was there to remind me that we had actually shared a meal. It was good. I just couldn't tell you what it was.

3. I would never tell my mother that all that Sweet N' Low she consumes is probably contributing to the reason she can't lose weight  She's 82. What's the point?

4. I would never tell my mother she should stop being my father's human can. He needs a cane. Actually he needs a walker. He refuses. She allows. it's a sight to see this human cane. We all know what eventually is going to happen. We just don't talk about it. We are conflict avoiders.I'm hoping my brother will do that.

5. I would never tell my mother that I took my first gourmet cooking class at age 21 because she refused to let me in the kitchen growing up because I made too big of a mess. She would know that was just partially true. I took the class because I have  never  been a huge fan of her cooking. She never followed a recipe, cutting ingredients to reduce the fat or sugar. I just wanted to cook something the way the experts said it was supposed to be cooked.

6. I would never tell my mother that I shared her Honey Cake Recipe. This is a recipe for the world's best honey cake. It was passed down from her Romanian aunt who gave her the recipe several times, changing the ingredients each time. She made my mom promise not to give the recipe out  Does giving the recipe to me count as breaking that promise? Does giving it out to just a couple of people count as breaking that promise?
Even so, my mom doesn't want me giving out the recipe. Can I just say I would like to be released from this promise?

7. I would never remind her what the first words out of her mouth were when I told her I was pregnant. " Well, if that's what you want to do."

Now for the tag: Do share 7 Things We Don't Know About You or...7 Things You Would Never Tell Your Mother/Father.

Michelle Denine Lee because she is my cousin once removed and I can't imagine there's anything she wouldn't tell her mother ( my cousin)
Nancy White because she tagged me two years ago and I wanted to invite her to play again
Denise Tanton because she's my fearless leader at BlogHer
Bob Centor - because he's my brother and I would like to read his list of things he wouldn't tell my mother
David Brauer  because he once hired me to write the predessor to FunnyBusiness

Have Fun! Eager to see what you come up with.

a