FunnyBusiness: Everything About Business Except The Bottom Line

You've Got Mail, Radio Shack's Electronic Pink Slip

The email read "  "The work force reduction notification is currently in progress. Unfortunately, your position is one that has been eliminated."

Aside from that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

In trying to explain the company's unconscionable behavior of firing 400 people via email, a RadioShack a company spokesperson  Kay Jackson  said, " Company officials had told employees in a series of meetings that layoff notices would be delivered electronically" She said employees were invited to ask questions before Tuesday's notification on a company intranet site.

So there you have it. The "we warned you excuse". Which  makes about as much sense as " it's part of youth culture " excuse ,and "I was gobsmacked" excuse.

There  is precedent for RadioShack's behavior.

Earlier this month, TheTimes in England reported that a shop keeper defended his decision to fire an employee via a txt message because " it's part of youth culture."

Katy Tanner, 21, learnt that she had lost her job as a sales assistant at the Blue Banana store in Cardiff only when she received the text message. She had been working at the shop for eight weeks.

The text message, sent by Alex Bartlett, the shop manager, said: “We’ve reviewed your sales figures and they’re not up to the level we need. As a result we will not require your services any more. Thank you for your time with us.”

Miss Tanner was at home because of a migraine when she received the message. She said: “I don’t think it’s right to just text someone. At least they should have talked to me face to face. It’s very impersonal and not at all professional.

The trend to "sack text"evidently began in 2003 on the recommendation of PriceWaterhouseCoopers. Again in England, the business consulting firm advised their client The Accident, an insurance firm to send text messages to more than 3000 employees announcing the company was shutting down and that they were being laid off. Their rationale was that since the company had run out of money, txting would be the most cost-efficient thing to do.

At the time, the owner of the company said he was "too devastated" about the loss of the company. However, after he was spotted sunning himself in a villa in Spain, 21 employees sued and as was reported by The Register

"The tribunal ruled in their favour adding that staff had been "cynically manipulated".

But since the company has no cash, the compensation claim will be covered by the Government using taxpayers' money, the Telegraph reports.

Following yesterday's decision, other former workers are now expected to seek compensation."

At the time of the original text message  The BBC  reported the police were called to the insurance company.

"it was reported disgruntled workers looted offices of computer equipment before leaving their workplace following news of the redundancies.

Looting was definitely on the mind of HighJive  responding to this post on Make The Logo Bigger 

"Hope one of them was the marketing director who greenlit the recent testimonial ads with 40-year olds playing teens.While this isn’t the first time a company fired someone via email, 400 all at once is pretty ballsy.I’m guessing a few of those ex-employees may come back at a later date to ‘update’ management on their job search. I’ll be looking out for that breaking news on CNN.
(Via Drudge on Breitbart.)"

HighJive's response:
"actually, it was pretty ballsy. most employers disconnect people's computer before firing them to avoid disgruntled types messing with the systems."


You can't make this stuff up.


Image Credit: Flickr Member Jamalulo

 

 

McDonalds McMum on McHummer Promotion

Mcdonalds has about 42 mini Hummers --in eight colors and models--- to give away as part of its  Hummer of a Summer Promotion. The  Center for Media and Democracy reported that to launch the promotion, "McDonald's organised a lunch-hour parade down Chicago's Michigan Avenue featuring Ronald McDonald on the hood of a Hummer.

The  press release for the promotion is highlighted in AutoBlog.The blog also includes pictures of all eight of the Hummer give-aways.

"It's time to rev up the fun as HUMMER rolls into McDonald's for a pint-sized promotion. Beginning August 4 – August 31, 2006, young guests will receive one of eight powerful, fun-fueled miniature HUMMER vehicles, with the purchase of a Happy Meal ® or Mighty Kids Meal ®, at participating McDonald's restaurants, while supplies last. Always ready for adventure, HUMMER's iconic vehicle design and unparalleled off-road capabilities spark the imagination of children nationwide. McDonald's Happy Meal and Mighty Kids Meal HUMMER line-up features eight dynamic vehicles, capturing the power, excitement and unique styling that make HUMMER one of the most recognizable vehicles on (and off) the road "

The backlash has been substantial. You can read about it in my post in Blogher. How bad has it gotten? As of this morning, 74,000 people have decided to share their feelings at the Ronald McHummer Sign-o-Matic web site.  

"The fast-food chain that helped make our kids the fattest on Earth is now selling future car buyers on the fun of driving a supersized, smog-spewing, gas-guzzling SUV originally built for the military. Use the Ronald McHummer Sign-O-Matic™ to tell us what you think of this misguided marriage of two icons of American excess."

So far no comments from McDonalds. By the way, they have Polly Pockets for the girls.

to  Marc Sirkin at npMarketing Blog  who introduced me to his vision of "McJerkies".

What Me Worry? Why Corporate Execs Aren't Singing The Real Estate Blues

You'd be smiling too if your latest employee benefits package protected you from  potential losses of the housing bubble. In an article in Slate, Michele Leder---who shares what corporations try to hide in the footnotes of their SEC filings in her blog, Footnoted.org writes:

"the executives who were first in line with jets, sweetheart loans, stock options, and repriced stock options have now devised the first post-real-estate bubble compensation trick. They've figured out how to shelter their own houses from the declining real estate market—by getting their corporations to guarantee their sale price. You may be sweating that you have to sell at a loss, but your CEO isn't. Since the beginning of this summer, at least a half-dozen companies, including eBay and Nike, have disclosed in their routine Securities and Exchange Commission filings that they're now protecting their executives from real estate market forces. The terms in the filings vary—"protection against loss"; "loss protection"; and "price protection"—but the meaning is the same: They are essentially guaranteeing that executives' homes will sell for a good price."

  Image Credit Flickr member Emyduck

What do Tom Cruise,Mel Gibson and Forbes magazine have in common?

They said a bad, bad, thing. Mel apologized. Tom got the boot.Forbes pulled its article. You can read my entire post at blogher.

Will Cingular dooce the author of "Just me, twiddling my thumbs until the apocalypse"?

Like many bloggers before him, Jared Watts writes about his job-- a job he disdains. Unlike many he probably won't be dooced for his rantings.

Work is tumultuous at best. Our manager made us all come in yesterday morning at 8am for a staff meeting…now let’s keep in mind that our staff consists of a whopping four people…definitely something that necessitates some grand spectacle. At the meeting, he basically said y’all suck, and here’s how, and then he talked to us for about an hour about how this job should be the number one priority in our lives. Every moment at work should be spent actively working, even if we have to make up jobs to do (I’m sorry, but this store is a total graveyard, and we have nothing but downtime). Sorry, I’m not going to invent jobs just to pass the time that I’m already passing just fine thank you.

As Yuki Noguchi writes in the  Washington Post  article, " Kids Say The Darndest Things", Jared Watts is blogging about his job at a Cingular retail outlet. Jared's dad is Wayne Watts --the senior vice president and associate general counsel of AT&T Corp., Cingular's parent company.

Jared makes a clear distinction between writing about the company and making personal attacks against his dad who he says, "supports him a 100 percent and is responsible for getting him the job he lovingly disses in his blog. For his part, the dad relied on a company spokesperson to express his views. As the article says,

His father, speaking through an AT&T spokesman, said: "I care very much for my son. And like many fathers and sons, we have differences of opinion on many subjects."

  Jared says what he wants to whomever he wants. His dad opts for the company spokesperson. Talk about a generation gap-- the line shouts volumes.

So does Jared's blog -- which ,while particularly brutal, could, if the company chose to listen, provide them with a real sense of what its like to work in the company.

Now the Post didn't provide a direct link to Jared's blog-- just directions how to get there. Not sure if that is some kind of  editorial policy of not providing links ( I am after all reading the article online and a link would have been appropriate and user friendly) Nevertheless, I was eager to surf for Jared.

While AT&T Cingular might view his rants as the thoughts of a"spoiled 21 year old", I am reading it as the kind of honest interpretation of a job that companies need to hear.

Companies need to understand what their policies sound like to a non-invested employee who is just there for their paycheck,not their career.

While few companies would permit an employee to blog so honestly about their job ( and who knows how much longer young Jared will be hanging around) they do have another choice....the internal corporate blog.

Karen E. Klein's Smart Answers column in BusinessWeek Online  shares that companies can start using internal blogs instead of email and workflow management tools. The article includes interviews with two of my Blogging buddies  and Blogher Editors: Jeneane Sessum and Toby Bloomberg.

An employee blog will serve more as a "...centralized talking space for company news and views, customer wins, etc.," Sessum explains. "Blogs put the nexus of control, at least from a communication standpoint, in the hands of employees, thereby empowering them. At the same time, because internal blogs remain within the firewall, they are a good venue for honest communication and collaboration in a relatively safe environment for businesses that are just getting used to the idea of blogging and may view it as sort of renegade."

Bloomberg adds a word of caution: "Although it's not a top-down strategy, unless management and the company culture support this type of informal communication it is set to fail before the first word is posted. It's critical that the company provide training and encouragement, especially in the beginning stages."

The article also includes some quotes from Theresa Valdez Klein of Blog Business Summit -- which is hosting a conference this October focusing on how internal blogs can help businesses.  Information about the conference, which will be held in Seattle, is available at her site blogbusinesssummit.com.

 

Speaking of Liquid Bans--India says NO to Coke and Pepsi

It was not a good day for Coke and Pepsi. A court in India denied their request to lift a ban on selling their beverage products. The products were banned last month  by the communist-ruled southern state of Kerala because high levels of pesticides have been found in the drinks.

 To defend itself Pepsi launched a two -prong media campaign. The blog, Satish and his thoughts is  not that impressed.

Pepsi has fired recently two shots in air for self-defense. The first one was an advertisement claiming that the tea Indians drink has 14.2 ppm residue of pesticide which is 28000 times higher than such residue in Pepsi. The Tea Board of India has described the claim as "totally false". It is a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black. Tea is as old as Indian civilization and is the most favourite drink among Indians. It is processed plant leaf unlike Pepsi whose ingredients are so zealously guarded secret that the formula has been
stored in some unknown vault. Assuming that tea contains dangerous levels of pesticide, it does not absolve Pepsi of the charges already made against it. Moreover, tea is boiled before use whereas colas are taken directly thus reducing the harmful effects.

Satish also reports that Pepsi Co Chairman Rajeev Bakshi is supporting a ban on selling "fun" drinks in primary schools. Bakshi's is reported to have said - "Soft drinks should not be consumed at that age. If schools ban them, we will not contest them".

Meanwhile, Frank Lavin, under secretary for international trade has said the ban is a setback for the Indian Economy. Lavin is quoted as saying the ban could hinder American investment dollars in the region, adding,

" it would be unfortunate if the loudest voices were those who did not want to treat foreign companies fairly.

Meanwhile The Insider which reports on conspiracy theories and the New World Order, headlined the controversy this way:

Coke and Pepsi banned in India for putting poison into drinks

The addictive sugary American drink, "Coca Cola", has been banned in many regions accross India, because the product is being contaminated with poisonous chemicals which the company claims are "safe".

Tests show that the amount of harmful chemicals in the mixture is actually being gradually increased. The mass media is not reporting which chemicals are involved or their effects in humans, they are simply described simply as "pesticides", and the long history of contamination now on record is allegedly not deliberate.

The ban has now spread to the UK according to UPI:

Britain's University of Sussex has banned all Coca-Cola products from its student union to protest the company's alleged business practices.

Other British campuses are expected to follow suit amid calls for a nationwide student boycott against the soft drink giant, the Independent reported Saturday.

U.K. Students Against Coca-Cola has been pressuring the purchasing consortium that provides food and drink to British campuses to cancel its four multimillion-dollar contracts with Coke, the newspaper said.

While Satish says he now longer drinks "fun" drinks because of the health risk, he comes down hard on the government ban.

The Kerala government’s jumping into the fray and banning production as well as sales without any proper investigation is just like severing the head for curing headache. The announcement through ads by Pepsi’s brand ambassador – a popular film star that he would go to USA to drink Pepsi if it is banned in India is equally preposterous. Even the news report in Washington Post that Americans drink over 100 times more colas than Indians is not going to help matters. That Indians are not very much dependent on the colas has been proved by the most unexpected gain made by tea after the ban was imposed.

Image Credit:Yahoo! News

Distributor of NWA's "101 Ways To Save Money" apologizes--sort of

As a followup to Wednesday's Post Northwest Airlines Encourages Employees to Dumpster Dive, I contacted NEAS,the company responsible for suggesting that dumpster diving is a great way to save money.

Here is their media response

 

As far as apologies go it is rather pathetic. Instead of acknowledging how incredibly insipid and offensive the booklet is, they apologize for the distribution and then have the audacity to finger-point the real responsibility to some unknown author. Give me a break!

Eventually they get around to saying they  apologize that "some of the information was not appropriate "but the kicker is they end up  this media memo by  putting the responsibility  right back on the folks who were offended by saying
" and was felt to be offensive"

Here's the deal. People didn't just feel it was offensive. It was offensive.

A requests for an interview was denied --the very cordial spokesperson assured me the memo would answer all of my questions and that the company was not issuing any further statements on the issue.

The big question is " If NEAS didn't write the copy, who did?"

Also, the dumpster diving was just one of many ludicrous suggestions. MN Headhunter has the list in its entirety.
 

Yin and Yang of the Airlines' Ban on liquids

Except for H2O ,there are solid substitutes for our favorite sundries. Check out my post at Blogher.

Northwest Airlines encourages employees to "Dumpster Dive"

I kid you not.  Northwest  Airlines hired an outside firm to create a booklet "Preparing for a Financial Setback" to help financially strapped employees who have endured massive pay cuts. Northwest is also planning on cutting more jobs.

One of the sections of the booklet included "101 ways to save money". For a time, the advice was posted on their website and about 50 employees received the booklet with the incredibly offensive advice.

'Northwest spokesman Roman Blahoski said some employees who received the handbook had taken issue with a couple of the items. "We agree that some of these suggestions and tips ... were a bit insensitive," Blahoski told Reuters.

     

The four-page booklet, "Preparing for a Financial Setback" contained suggestions such as shopping in thrift stores, taking "a date for a walk along the beach or in the woods" and not being "shy about pulling something you like out of the trash."

While this was reported on FoxNews.com on Tuesday, neither the StarTribune or the St.Paul Pioneer Press had any coverage of this bizarre story.

A couple of thoughts. If someone in Northwest's communication department approved this dribble, shouldn't they be accountable? 

Oh, and its not a " bit insensitive" It's egregiously offensive.

How did such an offensive, outlandish, insensitive and idiotic idea get approved?  Chances are, no one in the Northwest Communications area actually  proofread the copy in the booklet before it was printed or put on their website. ( you won't find it there now) One can only assume that on a list of priorities, a booklet providing financial advice to employees who are facing lay offs just isn't high on a priority list of a communication department dealing with potential strikes, bankruptcy, and general unhappy customers.

Then there's the consultants who came up with the advice in the first place. The Reuters article said it was an outside firm. Just who is this firm and why would they include a recommendation to rummage through the trash?  Is there another side to the story that we are just missing?

The employees of NWA deserve an apology from the Douglas Steenland, president and CEO of NWA.

In fact, he should have to spend a day dumpster diving.

You can't make this stuff up.

Oh, and the tag line for the photo is " So I went dumpster diving and all I got was this lousy lice."

Image Credit: Flickr member Thomask

Women Entrepenuers in Afghanistan

  Last night I saw the   documentary,The Beauty Academy of Kabul, --the story of six American hairdressers --funded by the Beauty Industry---who go to Kabul, Afghanistan in 2003 to open a beauty school.

Watching the documentary inspired me to do some research on the state of working women in Afghanistan. You can read that post on blogher.

You can listen to an interview on NPR's Fresh Air with the film's director Liz Mermin and academy teacher Shaima Ali.

If the documentary is not playing in your community, you can sign up for an email alert letting you known when it's on DVD.

Image Credit: Shadow Distribution